There's nothing to get excited about anymore,,,,,, you'd think that after 7 years I'd get over it, yeh me too, But no, I'm the big baby that I am. Sometime it just makes me sad. But other times it makes me mad! Sometime I wish that there was a person that was responsible. That way I could phyisically do something about it and feel like there is something changed because of it. But no, nothing like that, It's just how it is. Things happen and things change, things are how they are and I have to just accept them and get over it, right? Wrong, I don't have to and will not 'get over it'. There is a void that I know God is supposed to fill in my life, buy why lie? Sometime it seems the hole is so big that God can't fill it. When is it going to be filled? What went wrong? If nothing went wrong, then why is this right? How about everyone who told me "Everything will be ok" 7 years later it's still not.. now what? Empty words . . . . . . . Empty words echo from the halls of 7 years . . . . . . . . . Oh sure, I get along fine, I'm not sure where'd I'd be if things never did change. But one thing is for sure, i'd give anything to have it back. I'd sleep in a box on the street , , , Sitting here thinking just amazes me that something like this is a reality and this many years later, I still won't believe it. There is a place in my heart that isn't supposed to be taken up by anything else and now it has to, but it can't. It alters a person's mind and changes them inside. Things like this aren't supposed to happen, or at least it seems that way. I don't know. But from day to day, there is nothing that I miss more.

I miss my Momma, Happy Mother's Day!

It was weird, I thought about my wife today.

I mean, yeh, i'm not married or nothing, now,, but someday yeh, and it was weird, I just started thinking about a family.. woo weird stuff there! I don't think i'm quite ready, although some faces did pass through my mind. Hmmm.

Random thought: I actually like my boss. Yeh, there are those who do not.

See I think that if you are employed by a person, that you should do whatever you are asked to do. Of course if it conflicts with Bible teaching then by all means, don't. But other than that, if it is just personal preference, i think you should do it anyway. Not only if it is hte boss , even a manager. I know what its like to be in charge of other ppl and them not want to listen. But that's life and that's other people. Oh well !!

JF

"Nothing compares to the greatness of knowing you, Lord"

Man I love that song! It's like the whole meaning of why I exist. I think that knowing the Lord is the only thing that is worth living for. I mean, we can live for ourselves, and work to build up us and our stuff, but we cannot save ourselves. We could live for someone else, but they cannot save us. But if we live for the Lord and put our complete trust and faith in Him, He can and will save us. The Apostle Paul knew that even today even 2000 years after he lived on this earth, that there would still be nothing that could even come close to the greatness of knowing the Lord Jesus Christ. I want to challenge you now. Do you know the Lord? I mean do you just know of the Lord and frequent church and pray now and then, or do you really know the Lord and base your whole life and existence on the Lord Jesus Christ? Is every choice and decision you make based on the teaching of Jesus Christ, is everything that you set out to do, have the favor and blessing of the Lord. Do you live for Him alone? Do you have faith in the Lord for everything, or just the things that suit you? All that , would be the greatness of knowing the Lord Jesus Christ !! What a great thought !! Make it reality!!

Finally put the new liner in the pond tonight.. Betsy and I had a good time of yard work for a couple hours.. Got the liner and and the rocks put back in place and filled it up !!

Looks geat if i say so myself !!

Then I got the urge to make chocolate covered strawberries.. so i did.. mm mm good !!

-10-

1/6

May work late tomorrow night.. but don't mind. Picnic on Sat. And yo, Canst! Something is only as boring as you make it.. It was once said that only boring people get bored!!

JF

Nothing to blog about tonight, just lettin yall know im alive.

Today, I thought about the fact that I will die someday. Like, that fact that you dont have to be old to die. And that my next breath could be my last breath. I heard a commercial for some asthma medicine (however you spell it) and saying that "With asthma your next breath could be your last". I thought, "Duh you morons, everyone on earth can say that, our next breath could be our last". Only by the grace of God we will breathe one more time. "God or Medicine"? I'll choose God anyday, He has a better track record than any doctor or medicine could even dream of. There are those who believe in God, and there are those who do not. I hope I am always in the those who do catagory! Anyway, I'm sure I'll come under attack for those statements. and yes, ( ) I feel your pain !! oh oh, pain, should i get medicine.. ha. whatever!

I think I should read more of my book tonight.. for some reason books get put on the back burner when it's my time to read !!

Fixed the lawnmower
Mowed the grass
Cleaned up the yard
made it look it look nice!

Day 08

Found a great deal on Ebay for a better filter to treat my dirty dirty Oscars !! See I got a deal becuase.. in the store they are $170 and mail order they are $116 shipped! BUT, I found it on Ebay for $53 with an hour left so i bid.. with one minute left.. i bid $55 and was outbid right away.. with 23 seconds left... (drama) I bid $60.01 and won.. I beat the highbidder by 1 cent !! Now I may even be able to pick this thing up and save on shipping too !! Oh its great to be frugal.. but wait. im not frugal.. maybe just cheap.. ha.. idk. anyway.. now its been 24 hours and the guy aint email me back.. oh well.. i wait.

Too busy to blog tonight.. but never the less i think i blog more in a week than most of my daily reads post in a day !!


God is great and greatly to be praised !!

*HEADACHE*

But other than that, I worked in the morning and , WOW on the way to work it was awesome in more ways than one.. first it was awesome that God protected us from being involved in an accident and then it was awesome the reaction and the driving skills that I displayed. Quite proud of that. Some guy was stopped in the driving lane with his right turn signal on.. I was going about 40mph andjust as I went ot pass him on the left.. he put on his left turn signal and turned. I couldnt stop so i swerved to the other side of the street and he kept turning and then whipped the wheel back.. i think i did a squealing two wheeler.. when I looked at the other car right before I whipped the wheel back.. i could have swore that he was hitting me !! As soon as I swerved back and were clear.. Phil and I looked at each other and said "That was awesome, whooooo" !!! and Hi fived !!!!!

work was uneventful

stopped at Checkers on the way home... mmmm chili N cheese fries !!

went to Home Depot (love that place) and got a pond liner to replace the bad one.. then I couldnt resist some plants.. so i got 12 tomatoe plants 6 pepper plants and 6 egg plant .. hmmm now just where to put them... I actually pulled out my Kiwi plants to make room for 6 of the tomatoes and the peppers... Betsy got some flowers too but i forget what they are called.. I think I might get lettuce to plant in from of the peppers for a border. can't wait till next year when we renovate the whole yard into (well half the yard) into a garden and a pond for fishing... if anyone was wondering.. yes i do live in the city and yes my yard is kinda smal..but that wont stop me. !!!! Anyway..

Question of the Day: If you generalize and someone takes serious offense to it, does that mean that they feel guilty about the generalzation that you made?

Each person has the power of choice, no one can take that away, not even God (contrary to some beliefs).


Two things that are true:

1. Our most valuable possesion that we could ever have is our eternal soul. (which will spend an eternity in one of two places, Heaven or Hell) [[rethink your beliefs to be sure]]

2.No one can ever take from us, our power of choice. It is our choice to follow God or to 'fall away' from the faith !!

Day 3 and going strong with the mercy of God !!

Rethought my plans for the yard next spring! Took 191 pics of my fish,, about 40 turned out! Digital of course. Now all i have to do is get them on the web.. oh nevermind.. if you want to see them, come over and check them out.. its a standing invitation.. just let me know you'll be here !!

surf N turf for dinner tomorrow night !M MMMM


Good lookin out for the Phillies ticket Seth, but I had plans for dinner !! I got a date and I cant be late.. if ionly i wasnt typin, i woulda danced while saying that !

God is great and has been wonderful that last three days.

Some oriental ppl looked at our house tonight.. they seemed like they were really interested in it!

I was told that once you accept Christ into your heart, you are forgiven for all your past, present and FUTURE sins.. even if you do not repent of them.. although Jesus clearly said that IF>> IF we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins.. Geez, ppl just want an easy life and a lazy life to Heaven, little do they know that they have to have continuing faith in Christ to inherit the free gift of eternal life! ! If I was to turn my back on God, why would he still save me,, thats right.. he wouldn't !! God is a kind and loving God, but he is also a jealous God !! So stop being so stupid and get on the straight and narrow road of continuing full faith in God.. Not just what suits your current life style.. I heard recently.. that alot of ppl who call themselves Christians just do so because it is what their friends/peers do, and they go through the motions to be accepted. How sad!

Pizza time

Sigh!

Long busy days at work make time fly. And that's what its been like!

Shauna, thank you for the Birthday wishes!! Yes, it was a good birthday although the party was Friday and my birthday dinner was on Sunday, it was almost all over by Monday!! But it was good!

Happy Birthday to me! Wow I feel special but i guess it is my birthday- I got 18 cards and 2 cakes! One cake from Candace and one from Melissa! Thanks both o you! Nice hearing from Erin D. tonight even tho i didnt get a chance to talk to her! Hmmm I wonder why it is that ppl like her live so far away? Oh well, idk, I guess someday I'll meet the right person. God must really want me to find just the right person if He is makin me wait this long! But I know its only in His time, if it were in mine, i'd screw it up! Not that i havent already or nothin. but anyhow, thanks for all the kind birthday wishes, I needed them, i was needing some encouragement about that time. And i kinda still do, sometime the little bit and little bit of sinking down catches up and sinks deeper. I'm not sure why, but it sneaks up on me and makes me feel worthless, although i know im not and never will be. No matter what anyone thinks! God made me with a specific purpose in mind and I intend with the help of the Holy Spirit to fulfill my calling when He reveals it to me! I thought of my rents today, dont know why, but just did. Maybe its the pic of my dad hangin on the wall at work. Somettime they seem so distant and i stop to remember them. But then sometime its like I'm there again, and I relive the last days. Sometime it really sucks because I feel like there is no one to impress, or whats the word, no one to say "Good Job" or "I'm proud of you". I guess its like whether they say it or not.. when they are there you know they watch what hyou do and are proud of you! Now its just I do it because I do it, there's no one there to get it from. idk, its just weird sometime, like its not supposed to be this way. but knowing that nothing comes my way without God allowing it first, I woould have it no other way! Cleaned out my filthy Oscar tank tonight, man are they dirty fish, and I gave them a new heater.. one that wont fry them! Not that you are interested in my fish or anything. I thought about going fishing tongith in the rain, but no one wanted to go with me! wahh.. oh well.

"Do you feel my heart beating, Do you understand"?


have a swell day.

Every morning when I wake up, I get on my knees and say, "Thank you Lord for letting me wake up one more day"!

I love rain, now if it would only start thunderin it would be great !!

The Prayer Room

I think my favoritest gift is the candy buttons from Lindsay, and hey, why would i give them to my little sis.. I love those things.. brings back memories.. you know I am old now.. I can sit my grand kids on my knee and talk about the good ol days. Back when we used to walk to school with bare feet in the snow up hill both ways, sometime naked, with no lunch, in the scorching heat.. man it was terrible..but we did it..

oh and Shauna, to answer your Q, I guess it's because I haven't talked to you in two months!! haha, yeh its been too long! And you weren't at my birthday party, although thats my sister's fault for not inviting you.. but then you're in LA.

that any help?

So you tell me, why do you rock?

I'm convinced that some parents are just sick in the head and never deserved to get married and be blessed with kids of their own! idk, They should gather all the abusive/neglectful parents up and put them in a big hole to abuse each other. that way no innocent kids are hurt in the process!

Why does AIM only let you have 200 buddies? I was over that limit a year ago. Anyone have any tips?

Too tired, long day and late night! I shall write more later! I promise!

Why is the writing in Shauna's blog so stinkin small?