Matthew 2:2 "We are come to worship MWS" .......

O come let us adore Him,
O come let us adore Him,
O come let us adore Him
Michael W. Smith

We'll give Him all the glory,
We'll give Him all the glory,
We'll give Him all the glory
Michael W. Smith

Oh, wait.. that's not how it goes..

It should end with "Christ the Lord"

But that is what I got after watching MWS upclose at Creation Fest this year. From the promotion of his new film on the jumbo-trons as his introduction, to how he flicked his hair and ran his hand through his hair as he sang. To his faithful reminder to his fans that he and George W. Bush are buddies.(maybe now isn't a good time to remind us of that) Anyway, Michael W. Smith was a big turn off this year at Creation. At first I thought it was just me being over sensitive to how the show was done.. but everyone I talked to about it felt the same way. He put on more of a "me" show this time than I have ever seen him do. He just seemed like he was really really into himself and all. Now, that's not to say I don't like bands who put on a good show and know who they are as a band. "Mercy Me" put on a big show, they actually brought in extra generators just to power up all Mercy Me's 6+ extra screens.. But I'm sure there is not one person who thinks they were too into themselves. I guess it's all in good taste.. I mean..Mercy Me did the band introductions as they walked off the stage and left no time for people to applaud them individually. (good taste, i thought) The Newsboys put on a huge show every year, but the way that Peter Furler conducts himself just doesn't have the same affect as MWS does. I almost wished Jon Reuben woulda popped his head out from backstage so we could start chanting "Get off the stage" without sounding too rude! But anyway, Michael W. Smith, get over yourself. One thing that I thought of is that he is so successful in his career and now he is a lead actor in a movie. He probably can't help but to get a big head and show off and bring attention to himself on stage.. when he is supposed to be leading worship and pointing all eyes and hearts to God, not his new movie coming out!! Time for a new worship leader.. If you think so too, Matt Redman is coming in the fall!

Learning; Isn't that what it's all about?

These last couple days have been a learning experience for me. Through dicussion and explanation I have been learning some important lessons that I hope stick with me. I learned that it is ok to disagree with someone, and it is healthy to discuss your disagreements. One reason it is good is because both parties have the oppurtunity to understand each other more clearly. So even if you do not agree with someone, if you take the time and make the effort to understand, you may avoid hard feelings and unnecessary and wrong assumptions about them. So all in all I found it out to be good. Granted that the dicussions are not over, and as they say "The best is yet to come". Meaning I am awaiting an explanation that should clear up any misunderstanding I may have had. That is not to say that I will agree with everything that is explained, and it's not to say that I will disagree with any of it.. It's simply saying that I will hopefully have an understanding. And at that point, whether I agree or disagree is irrelevant!

Udating profile pic

This is an attempt to update my profile picture. The old one was about 4 years old .. shame on me!!

Am I Really That Shallow??

I wonder if I am really that shallow that when people start trashing my efforts and putting me down, that I let it get to me? Do I really depend on other people's opinions of me to tell what mood I'll be in? Am I really that shallow? I'd like to think i'm not, but idk, no one ever sees themself the same way other people do. Maybe you can help me if you know me. It'd be cool, cause this is really starting to suck majorly. Or, maybe I don't want to hear what you have to say, that is, if, i'm really as shallow as I think I may be -------

Creation 2002.... 05 whatever

I went to Creation Fest this year.. but it was different for me.. and it seems like the meaning changed.. It's not that I don't like it.. It's idk.. Actually I was asked tonight, via email, why/what I felt that way about it. So maybe when I reply to the email.. i'll post it as the rest of this post.

Lost my bookmarks

When my firefox when ka-put i lost my bookmarks and my bookmark titled 'Blogs'. I need a favor. If you read this post and have a blog of your own, could you please leave a comment so i have your blog address again. I don't konw how to retrieve my list! I'm lost without my daily dose of blog reading. THANx

PK 2005; The Last Day

Well, I was back at PK this morning and was tired as crap! But, I still got up and went. Today was the day I was looking fwd. to , actually it was this afternoon that I was looking fwd. to. But at the same time I was not looking fwd. to it, because it would expose who I am and expose me for what I do with my life. For the last few months my life has been spiraling out of control. One thing after another after another, from things I would neglect to do that should be done to things I would do even tho I knew (not thought) knew were wrong. To scarring relationships with the people I love the most, to ruining ones that could have been great. To neglecting God's Word each night to not living it on a daily basis! But at the same time my heart burned within my chest and I yearned to do the will of God. And be the man that God intended me to be! I can relate to the Apostle Paul when he said (Paraphrased) "I do what I hate and I hate what I do, but all the while have a sincere desire to do differently". That is what he meant anyway. The weekends Promise Keepers theme is "Begin your unpredictable adventure". Through the power of the Holy Spirit and with Jesus as my guide and counselor, I WILL begin my unpredictable adventure. I'm not saying that it's going to be easy because quite honestly sometime the struggle and the fight just really suck! I hear that Jesus is 'the way, the truth and the life' but all the while I'm living my way, not knowing what real truth is and risking missing out on Life. I am convinced that I am spiritually asleep and need a spiritual awakening process. I need to be woke up and become a spiritual warrior! I had lost hope in my heart and doubted that I would come back to that place in my life again, or at least for along time! I've learned and am studying the characteristics of an awakened warrior; 1. An awakened warrior guards his heart. Something that I am guilty of not doing, I got to the point in my life where if it was good for the moment, what the hell, do it! But with the help of Jesus Christ I will work to be the awakened warrior He wants me to be. 2. An awakened warrior walks in the spirit. nuff said about that.. #1 speaks enough about my lack in that dept. and 3. An awakened warrior gets back up when he falls! Listening to God speak to me is said to be an important part of learning, growing and living a true life. 5 things that can help me to get into the Word daily are these; 1. Find a time and place that is stictly for reading the Word, no interruptions. 2. Read until God speaks to me. 3. Read Daily! 4. Share what I read. now there is an issue, sure I can share what I read with my family, but to do that with other men brings a whole different perspective. thats not the issue. The issue is that where I come from we are taught that 'small group'/'mens group' is a no-no. Why, I honestly can't say, but i've been saying for a year now that we should do it, have a mens group. But some of the men who I talk to about have a hang up somewhere. I do not know what it is, but I can only suspect. Could it be that the pastor thinks it's 'not necessary and could lead to a division among the brothers' so the men don't want to go against the pastor EVEN THOUGH they feel it is perfectly in God's approval?? I don't know, I can only guess. ok, #5 KEEP GOING. keep reading and progressing. And I add my own #6 LIVE IT. live what I read no just read it but put it into practice daily! Why is this so hard when I desperately have the desire!!?? whew. !! In starting to discover my purpose in life some of the things that were pointed out to me were these; God has made me a unique person. And not only am I unique, but God has given me a unique passion. That passion makes life worth the living. God made me the way I am so I could do what it is He wants me to do. And God has designed me for a unique purpose. Ok, I admit, sometime this is very very hard to believe. But through the power of Jesus, I will strive to believe and trust the source, GOD. In the homelife, my homelife can and does come a bumpy road! concerning kids (now, I don't have kids,,,,yet. But someday I want to have a family of my own, a wife to adore and cherish and love and who loves me unconditionally and kids that look at me and love me) I think i'll cry alot when/if I'm a daddy someday. I hope and pray that I get to see that day when I have the privilege to bring a child into the world! But back to what I was saying! Concerning kids, (now i do have some that I am responsible for as they were my own) involvment is HUGE to them. Involvement comes from availibility. One of the hardest things "HAS BEEN" to 'live according to the way so I can train according to the way'. But through the power of the blood that has changed tonight! I understand that to teach kids, i must be transparent to them, admitting when i'm wrong, and apologizing!!! Even kids know that talk is cheap, most of them learn that from their parents ! Just as I am unique I have to remember that each child is unique. I cannot use a one style of training fits all. But one thing that is universal is that the fear of the Lord is top priority in training children. Not only for them but for them to see it in me. My work, OH NO THE THOUGHT OF IT! ! ! I know that everyone must work, or not eat as the Bible says. I was taught, and am still pondering the things that I must take to work with me each day (And none included my brother, YES!) but ok, i'll still take him. :) The things I must take to work are 1.a sense of calling. Now I don't know about you, but that's a new concept. Calling to be an engine rebuilder. I didn't ask or apply for the job. It fell in my lap 10 years ago fresh out of highschool. But with alittle bit of understanding and instruction I am beginning to see where they are coming from when they say 'a sense of calling'. So much for that, i was going to use the word 'calling' to be the reason why I would 'resign'. JK! I am to receive my work as worship, everything I do, everyone I meet (ugh) I am to consider it worship and do it to the best of my ability for the Lord. In doing that I am to pour myself into my God given assignments. Even tho is my boss telling me what do to, it is God telling him. (Of course it's not God through him when he tells me to beet up the neighbor kids) but I am old and wise and can discern that I think! And ultimately, in all of this, God will reward me. #2. is Responsibility. Provision is tied to responsibility. In reality if I don't work and bring home the bread, we don't eat. So that is pretty basic for me. i think. I am to run from the tendency to be lazy and stick to MY business. not anyone elses but mine. THAT is responsibility. #3. is VALUE. Where ever I work, where ever God places me should be a better place because I work there. We should make an impression on that work place and bring value to it. And even when I feel ontop my game, I am never to stop progressing and learning. Improving my skills has no end. #4 Credibility. Being Honest, Honorable and trustworthy and a big part of credibility. One way to know what we will do in the future for a boss, is what we have done in the past. If we've been a slacker, we will be a slacker. If we were productive and an assett, we will continue to be productive and more of an assett. And in wondering why God doesnt give me bigger and better things, is because I have to ask myself; 'have I been faithful with and am I developing in what He has already given me or where I am now?? and #5. Sense of Mission. If I don't go to work on a mission for souls, i've missed something in the Christian life. Not necessarily to preach to everyone. but to win them by the life I live and the way I work in fear and reverance for the Lord Jesus Christ. With Him as my guide and my strength I will pursue the righteousness of Christ. Will it be hard?? Harder than I know!! Am I committed?? Only while walking by the side of the One who will hold my hand!! Do I fear?? You bet!! Dear God, I am venturin into a new phase of life. fearful; fearful of you and of what I'm entering into. Please Lord, don't let it be a one month thing and then die off !!!! Let it be a one life thing and enter into eternal life !!

Now if you read this by chance and think "Man, Jeff, lemme give ya a hug, man." You missed it, need more a slap on the back of hte head and saying, "c'mon, get with it dude, you are wasting your life and who knows who elses" !!

JF

PK 2005; my first night

Ok, so Promise Keepers 2005 has brought its first night. I attended and was encouraged and inspired. But being encouraged and inspired is totally useless IF I dont put them into works and into change. If I could tell you bluntly, last year, PK 2004 was a waste for me, it was useless, only because I am worse off spiritually one year later. But my heart breaks and yearns to be the man God wants me to be. I plead and I cry to God to give me the strength to change whatever it is that is my stumbling block. I search and search I pray and I pray but still there is something that is missing. Is it God, that is missing? Idk, Like I said, i'm confused about what isn't going right in this puzzle. It's like once I do something I shouldn't or don't do something I should, it's a downward spiral and its Fast, just incase you were wondering. I mean I could sit there and listen to the speakers and say "That's some good stuff" "That's a good way to put it" "thats a good challenge" but if I never put it into practice, accept and meet the challenges or if my poor spiritual condition dosen't improve, (Read my fingers) IT IS ALL FOR NOTHING ! ! ! USELESS AS TRASH ! ! ! If I don't open my proud eyes and listen, accept AND CHANGE, i'm dead. But I cannot do it without Christ, He is by far the most important part of this if it's going to work. That's the kicker, I'm not sure what's missing. And btw, this post is not asking for advice or nothing. Oh, and one speaker said. That to be encouraged you need to surround youself with men of God, but when i try to do that, they don't seem to have the interest to be looked up to by this struggling young man. Or they will deny that i'm struggling as much as I am. (Whacking them on head) Hello, I'm telling you im slipping and falling.. Hello!! Don't disregard my cry for help, o friend !! Ok, so i'm off to sleep, encouraged and inspired.. will it last. God I hope so.. I leave at 6 a.m. for a full day on Saturday. See what I come back with then ..

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday To Kelly
Happy Birthday To You

Need Help With Firefox!!

I opened firefox and it gave me the option to pick either "Default" or "Default User" when I chose default user it didnt let me open.. when I chose Default.. it opened but with no favorites or nothing.. Im lost do any of you (Jon C.) know how to recover my lost bookmarks/settings. Or am I back to square one? I appreciate any input.

JF

No More Mr. Nice Guy

See my boss at work was right no more mr nice guy i feel like im always tryin to be a nice guy but in the end always gettin screwed and everytime i get the short end of the deal i say that next time ill just leave without confirming that you dont need a ride or ill just not consider you or whatever just shut up jeff no one cares anyway sometime i feel like i ramble and the cup that holds my pens and pencils and silver sharpies looks at me and says enough already dude the pity party is working ot as it is yeh cup that holds that stuff i know i get it anway if you didnt get the news no more mr nice guy

So here's a peek

I cannot post the whole dilema because the person I write about may someday read my blog. As of now, they don't. Unless of course they did a search on google with my name and found it that way. A new friend of mine has asked me to go to a social 'thing' with her. I've never met her and just saw her pic today. It kinda weirded me out that she would ask me to attend w/her when she never met me in person. Now, should I be concerned of this person. Whether I should go or not is not a question to me, I already said, "I cannot go". But my question to those who care to comment, should I be concerned? and Why/not? Let me know what you think, my wise counselors!!

Dilema

I have a dilema, but not posting it right now. Another topic, for not being a reader, i got alot of reading material in the mail today. This months CCM, this months Relevant and a letter from my friend in prison. So adios for now, friend or stranger. Btw, what should I do with my dilema. you see, when I have to make a choice, I usually pick the 'easier' route, not there is a right or wrong, just that there is one way or the other and neither being right or wrong. I guess it has to do more with self consciousness and shyness.. i know, you're thinking, Jeff? You? Shy? I'll be darned!

Kelly's Blog

I think everyone who knows kelly, or even if you don't, should go to this blog (her old one) and comment along with me and taj about this guy stealing her blog. c'mon ppl get with the program.

Father's Day

It's Father's Day, what the he11 do you want me to say? No big saga, no long story, nothing because in reality who really cares anyway

The Citizen's arrest

Ok, Thanks Shauna for being the single person who wat interested in hearing the story. At least I know someone is still reading my blog! :) Anyway. It starts as I stop by the house around 10:45pm to pick up Cindy, my 13 year old sister. And as we get about 5 blocks from home, I come to a stoplight with a car in front of me with no lights and an SUV in front of it. The guy gets out of the SUV waiving his hands and at the same time the car with no lights makes a U turn. At that point I thought, "I know what just happened"> A hit and run. So as I floor it in reverse to make the intersection for a U turn, the car is now going down a side street and has not yet seen me following. I already have a 911 operator on the phone and I'm trying to tell her, hit and run at Lawndale and Robbins.. As I round the corner I see the car spinning about 3 times in the middle of the street. He had just hit about 6 parked cars doing about 65mph. As I flew down Lawndale 4 males jumped out of the car and ran. I had just enough space to squeeze by and followed on male that I was sure came from the car. To backtrack, when I made that U turn I had a split second decision to make. do i follow or drive on. Now I apologized 10 times to Cindy for scaring her and having her witness that. but I made the decision and never looked back. OK, so the male is running around the corner and as he hits a driveway I'm right behind him in the car. I hit tha breaks, throw it in park and reach under my seat for my 4 cell mag light! He is now at a slow job since he saw me come in. As I ran up the driveway, I told him (more simplified) to "hit the ground (sir)" ha. He ran toward a fence and I told him again. "Do not jump that fence, Stop and put your hands on your head and hit the ground" at that (thankfully) he stopped looked at me and layed down. I proceeded to kneel on the center of his back, his hands under his head. I asked him, "you got anything on you, drugs, a gun"? When he said no, I quickly patted his pockets and pants to make sure he didn't try something sly on me later on. I got back on the phone with a 911 operator and notified them who I was and where I was. In the driveway. The suspect complained that with me kneeling on his back made it hard to breathe, so I told him I was going to stand up so he could breathe but he better now move. He still complained about being hard to breathe so I let him sit against the fence and he cooperated. I asked him why he ran, he replied "I got 4 warrants, what did you expect me to do". To which I replied, "well with 4 warrants, i guess i'd say run". Lucky for me there was a lady standing at her back door who witnessed everything from me chasing him to the end. The police officers finally got there about 10 min. after the initial call and thanked me. Oh and by the way, immediately after apprehending the suspect I made a phone call and had Cindy picked up by my sister because I knew she was scared. And just incase you are wondering, "is what I just read legal?" the answer is absolutely YES. The law states that if you as a civilian see a crime being committed or a suspect running from a crime and you are more than certain that you have the right man, you have the legal right to apprehend the suspect and if he resists you have the right to use only the force necessary to apprehend the suspect and hold him for police to arrive. Granted that it may get you a day in court as a witness, I thought of that only after the fact and thought, well for that adrenaline rush, I'll go! I've been subpeonad before it's only a day out of my life.!! And in the end it turned out that the car was stolen, the tag was stolen, the driver has 4 warrants for arrest, he was only 17 and never had a license to drive a car. For my heroic efforts I recieved a "Thanks". Which was good enough for me.

-The End-

Arrested!!

I made a citizen's arrest tonight, man, talk about adrenaline rush! Maybe I'll post the whole story sometime, but right now i'm too tired.

Dreams

This poem was written by a friend of mine who is in prison for a long time. Read it over and over until you understand what he is saying;

In sadness I wait
For years to abate
.... no homecoming for me.

Dream for me
As you've never dreamed before
... I can dream no more

My nightmare has become the dream
My everything
...& choices are so hard.

Hard as it is to temper and anneal
The abstract into words
.... for humans

You do not understand
The words of an animal
Cages breed animals
.....I bark at you.

Blockbuster pulls through for me

Blockbuster may be biased against the Latino community but not towards me. I get my movie pass almost every month from Blockbuster. My usual thing is to pay cash and cancel before the end of the month. This past month as I left the store shortly after purchasing the movie pass for the 5th month in a row for the introductory rate, I asked 'Abneer' to cancel my movie pass. To which he replied, "Sure, I'll take care of it". But as it ends up he never did that and it ended up renewing on my debit card. That would not have been such a big deal except that my debit card drew from my checking account which was at a low point and overdrew my acccount incurring a $30 overdraft fee. Remember, I'm paying the introductory rate for the movie pass for 5 months, i'm not about to pay $56.74 for one now. When I go into Blockbuster on Wed.night the manager in the store, Raja, says that there is nothing he can do because he is not the store manager and the pass was technically already used because my movies are back late. Which technically is a bunch of bull crap. The reason I say that is because even before the 'no more late fees' promotion that Blockbuster has, I was always getting out of late fees. So I know it can be done. Well it ends up that the represenatives from Bank of America could not do enough to help me out. When the woman asked if there was anything else she could help me with today, I said,"Yes, you could train Blockbuster's employees to be as nice and helpful as you guys are". And if that wasn't enough the lady apologized on behalf of Blockbuster! So anyway, Bank of America immediately credited the amount of Blockbuster's un-authorized transaction to me and made it their problem to get the money back from Blockbuster. How cool of a bank is that!? They also credited back the overdraft fees saying that it obviously was not my fault for the overdraft. But I have a tip for you, if you get an overdraft fee from Bank of America, if you take the time to inquire about getting it removed, I've been 100% successful with 4 attempts in a year. So all in all, Bank of America could not have been more helpful. But Blockbuster employees at the Rising Sun and Longshore store, Raja and Abneer, could have been alittle more supportive of a customrer with a problem. Oh, and the deal I made with blockbuster was taht they could refund hte money to me if I didnt rent from them for 30 days. Go figure. But I took it.

Volleyball humor

Here's the issue; every Memorial Day we (church/family) have this huge picnic. There are about 500+ people there. There are always loads of games of some kind going on. I usually play volley ball. That's where the interesting part comes in. There is this one guy, we'll use the name J as a generic name. We'll get back to the name later. The game of volley ball consists of one ball, one net and from 8-12 players. We used 12 players this game. Normally when you play volleyball the only thing allowed to touch the net OR go past it, is the ball. Anything else that passes or touches the net is a penalty. Well that rule goes out the window as soon as the guys I play with show up. Some time the net is actually pulled down literally to waist level on a multiple (4) person slam. You see, I don't really care which way we play, whether we play straight up street volley ball or if we play strictly by the rules volley ball. Included in street volleyball is 'pass interference' which is when the second hit is being hit parrallel with the net to another player on your team and the opposing team reaches over the net and hits it down. Also in street volley ball 'full net slams' are legal, which is a slam in which the person slamming the ball actually hits the net with his armpit. And an all new hit that is clearly illegal by any rule book is one that 'J' made up today. Picture this discription of what took place. It was a two handed hit; the ball came down to him he placed one hand on either side of the ball, directly across from each other and as he closed his hands on the ball he spun it over the net. You have to imagine that in fast motion. You see, I don't care by what rules we play by, but I want everyone on the court to play by the same rules. That play with the grab/spin was clearly illegal, but no one dares say anything to 'J' because he will deny that he did anything wrong in the game. The slams where the net touches his armpit, nothing wrong he would say, or the pass interference, nothing wrong he would say. And I would also say there is nothing wrong with it IF everyone could do the same thing and get away with it. As the game went on I started to get enough of his reaching behind our front line to slam it and the unique grab/spin of the ball that I went up (after the opposing team's third hit) went over the front line, and spiked it down. Only to get yelled at by half the team. The point I made was that; If 'J' can do it the whole game and no one say anything about, how come I can't do the same thing and get away with it?? I can tell you why; It's because everyone knows that 'J' is a big baby when it comes to sports, there is no way that whatever he did he would admit that he was wrong. He may get a cute face on and say,"oh c'mon guys, its only a game, its all in fun". Well guess what 'J' its may be just a game, but you are clueless if you think of it that way. People play sports and put their hearts in to it and have you come out and break the rules and then laugh and say c'mon guys, it's only a game let's have fun. But c'mon 'J' quit being so clueless, there are rules and you have no right to play if you are going to break them!! Some people think that volleyball is a game of sheer brute strength! But it's not, it's a game of creativeness, skill, and athleticism and most of all RULES!!! Get with the program 'J' it's about rules and for some reason everyone is afraid to remind of you of that, I think it's because they know that you don't care about the rules and you'll be right anyway. They know you will argue or get a cute face and act as tho 'you' are the baby instead of him. Well it's about time that people stood up for what is right, the RULES, and if 'J' can't follow the rules like everyone else, GO HOME< SIT OUT!! "Get a clue dude"!