Yeh, it's still in Romans

I don't know what it is, but lately I've been deep in the book of Romans and can't get out! This is like for once in my life the Bible is making complete sense! Should I be scared or concerned.. IDK but It's wonderful!! There is no real place to begin because it is one really big circle. So I'll start with Romans and then get to my point! And I promise I will get to my point eventually.

Romans 14: 7-9
"7For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. 8If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.
9For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living."

No matter what I do or where I go, by the choices I make, I have an influence on someone else. There is nothing that we can do that is totally isolated from the world. Too much is closely knit that we cannot make choices that do not affect our Brother or Sister in someway. If we make wrong life choices our family will suffer the consequences, if we make right life choices our family will sigh a big sigh of relief (at least my family would) and so on. Even if we make the wrong choices in our own private world, at work, or out of our home, those choices affect us and in the same way we affect our family and friends. The only time we are isolated from other people is when we stand before the judgment seat of God. If we hear "Well done my good and faithful servant" we can look in front of us because we will see Jesus Rep'n for us. Ok, I know I already talked about this the other day, but I needed to reiterate it to make my point.

Romans 14: 10-12 "10You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. 11It is written:
“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will confess to God.’”£
12So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God."

Do I have the right to judge you? No, and the reason being is because I, just like everyone else, am a man/woman under judgment! It's like we go before God and are standing there and feel that we have the right to turn to our brother and say, "what the heck are you doing here?" or "Did you hear what """""""" did last night"? or "She won't come? But we are Christians and we feel it is ok to go, she's so self righteous!" You get my point. We cannot judge because we are the judged!

13Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way. 14As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. 15If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. 16Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil."

Before I go on I must bring your attention to one word in those last verses. The word LOVE 1 Corinthians 13 tells it how it is and I'll quote to make my point more clear.

1Corinthians 13: 1-3 "1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing."

That pretty much tells us how important love is. And how many times to we take the oppurtunity to 'get back' at someone instead of loving them? We can't pass up to chance to get even so we skip the love part. But even when we do pass up the oppurtunity to get even and we choose to love instead of our natural instincts, Do we really remember at that time what love is? Love isn't just 'not getting back' at someone. Back to Corinthians...

1Corinthians 13: 4-7, "4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
"

Patient? Doesn't envy? Doesn't boast? ... forget the rest.. if that is what love is.. what is it that I have had when I thought I had love?? Ok, I'm half joking. But all joking aside. That is some pretty powerful guidelines to fal into if we want to truly love one another. And just think of the recipients of your love, they will be some lucky people to live in our presence when we have that kind of love in our hearts and it is sincere! Patient, Kind, does not envy, forgets wrongs right away, which means it also forgives instantly. Dang! Verse 7 "Always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres". That right there that are the attributes of a mom's love. Don't mean to go off the subject, but, my mom? That's her in verse 7. Many of my friends moms. She's right there in verse 7. I'm gonna keep that verse posted on my fridge if I am blessed enough to be a dad someday! Ok, to get back before I make a wrong turn and get lost>>> We stopped at the word love in Romans 14 verse 15. We have to live a life out of love. If we don't have love for our brother we have nothing. It is important to respect a brother or sister who may be weaker in the faith than we are. If we are totally comfortable in doing something and it does not defile our conscience that is well and good. But if we have a brother or sister who is weaker in the faith OR with different convictions than we do, AND we persuade or convince them to take part in or do the things that we are doing, I think we are wrong.

Mark 9:42 “And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck.

To state it plainly; If my conscience was clear while I was involved in an activity or at certain place, and my brother said "No way man, I can't do that and feel right about it". And I were to say "C'mon, man, there's nothing wrong with it, we all go there'. And so on and eventually convince him to go or take part, I would be better off with a millstone around my neck and in the ocean? Dude, I can swim but not under those cicumstances, that would suck! Oh, wait, I get it, if we cause our brother to fall, we are screwed pretty much!! But if we skip back to Romans 14, we understand that we are better off not doing those things in the first place if we know our friend/brother/sister is not comfortable with it. If we know that it is one of those things where it is neither right nor wrong in itself and we know our brother doesn't approve. We should completely abstain for the sake of our brother's conscience! I mean, heck, I would appreciate it if it were done in my regard. That'd be one cool friend. I think back to the many times that I was talked into doing things that I knew were wrong.. only thing was I didn't have much of a conscience then. Do I now? JK!
OK, now I get to the personal stuff. A few years ago (and I'm still getting to my point) I was at an aquaintances house and the fridge was stocked full of alcohol of some kind. We had a blast, spent 'several' hours there and when it was time to leave I fell down the steps and was willing to drive, but a friend stopped by and was a friend to me. To make my condition clear, I was 'wasted'. I am not proud of that, but need to say it to make a point. The next day at work, I could not concentrate on work for obvious reasons. I left early and when to the home of someone of whom I considered a friend. I told my story and in return I was belittled and made to feel like a fool and a failure. This person told me how alcohol has "never touched my lips in my life". And how they feel that "all my advice to you was wasted". etc. etc. By the time I left that house that day I felt like crap and a failure and worthless because I failed. I failed God and now I failed a friend who seemed to want nothing of me. Besides the issue of "Does alcohol have a place in a Christian's life?", I learned a lesson that day. No, the lesson wasn't 'don't ever drink again'. It was "DON'T EVER TREAT SOMEONE THE WAY YOU JUST GOT TREATED" !!!!!! That was my lesson. Now here is the conclusion. I was treated that way, not on purpose, but out of ignorance. That person whom I considered a friend had no idea of how to respond to the news they just heard. So they paniced and said what was on their mind without thinking. At the time I was double wounded. I had fallen the night before and in an attempt to get back up I called on a Christian Brother who, unintentionally, pushed me back down again. But I don't consider that experience all bad. Because of Romans 8:28 "All things work together for good for those who love the Lord.....". At the time did I love the Lord? I will always say yes, but my actions obviously speak otherwise. I learned that when someone comes to me with a problem, if I have experienced the same problem in my life, GREAT, I can now empathize with them and explain that I've been there and it sucks, let's work together and find the solution to this problem. And, if I've never been there, like this person was never in the place I was, do my best to explain that "I don't know what you are going through, but there IS forgiveness if you are willing to confess & forsake". Yeh, I know it's all words. But that is what I learned from that experience. To always try to 'protect' the faith of someone else. Protect it from discouragement, especially my own. And apply all those adjectives of love to that person if they choose to come to me with questions or problems. To be patient, kind, not to boast or get angry (or at least be slow at it).. The important thing is it's not about me, especially at that point, it's time to put my all into this person who respected me enough to come my way with something.
Now there is another point; I mentioned before the issue of "Does alcohol have a place in a Christian's life?" It will be controversial til the end of time. And i've heard all the arguements. I'm not looking for new excuses. If you drink with a clear conscience, great! If I drink with a clear conscience, great! But if I were to drink and the fact that a young Christian respected me and knew that I drank, caused them to think it is fine to do, but later became a drunkard and ended up with several DUI's. Would I then think it is still ok for me as a Christian to drink? We may think we are living in our own little world and only having influence on .... no one. But that is not true. There are many young people around most of us and they are heavily influenced by what we do and what we say. And if we take part in something they will automatically think it is cool, if not OK. This is just a warning to re-evaluate what is necessary in our life and what is just a potentially dangerous 'extra'. Did I answer the question of whether it has place in a Christian's life? No I did not, because at this point I don't know. I know for a fact that it would be better if we all stayed away from it, but we are all individuals. Just remember Romans 14. We ourselves and our actions are NEVER isolated to just ourselves. We have a responsibility to look out for our brother's conscience. We may have the Christian freedom to drink, but 'could' it hinder a brother or sister in their walk of faith or cause them to fall?? It may be ok for us, but is it ok for ALL Christians? If not, could be we a negative influence on them by participating? And we have an obligation to respect our weaker brother. We cannot do something as a Christian just because our coolest Christian friend does it and has no struggles with it. We cannot do something just to fit in with the rest of the group. We have an obligation to consider the well being and the conscience of our brother FIRST, and then our own! Man if only we could do that, what a great place we would live in !!!

Bad Christian !

One of my 13 blogs that I read daily is one called badchristian.com recently he wrote;

Honestly, badchristian.com started out of frustration. I felt--and still feel--like the contemporary institutional Church is more enamoured with a vision of its present righteousness than it is with encouraging people to be transformed AND then live truly transformational lives. Also, it frustrated me that the contemporary Church isn't much in the business of allowing questions (and especially not in the business of questioning answers.)

You can view his whole blog at BadChristian.com

My lesson from Romans

You ever have it where you are reading a certain part of the Bible and it exactly coincides with what you may be dealing with or someone else (who talks to you about it) is dealing with? Well it was intersting. I was recently talking to someone about some things they wanted to do. They called me and asked my opinion on somethings. And what they planned to do would have influence on young people and those young people could possibly look up to them. And I couldn't really articulate what I wanted to say or I couldn't be certain that what I was saying or wanted to say was right or correct. But the next morning when I picked up my Bible the marker was on Romans 14. That chapter was exactly what I was trying to portray. I spoke on the fact that it is impossible for us to be isolated in our life here on earth.. no matter what we do it will have an effect on someone somehow whether good or bad. The only time we could ever possibly be isolated would be when we stand before the judgment seat of God but then even at that point.. if we ran the race and faught the good fight we will have Jesus with us to rep for us. And then it spoke about judging people and that we cannot judge others because we ourselves are men under judgment. And the fact that we are responsible for our neighbors conscience in the way that we cannot do something that is neither right nor wrong if it defiles our neighbor's conscience. We cannot condone something that our neighbor thinks is wrong even if we think it right.. IF it is something that is neither right or wrong. .. .. .. .. .. William Barclay had this to say about it. And it made sense to me.

The Stoics used to teach that there were a great many things which they called indifferent. In themselves they were quite neutral, neither good nor bad. The stoics put it this way-it all depends by what handle you pick them up. Now that is profoundly true. To a student of art, a certain picture might be a work of art, to someone else an obscene drawing. To one group of people a discussion might be an interesting and stimulating experience, to someone else a succession of heresies, and even blasphemies. And amusement, a pleasure, a pastime might seem quite permissible but to another prohibited. More, there are pleasures that are quite harmless to one man, which can, in fact, be the ruin of another. The thing itself is neither clean nor unlcean; it's character is determined by the person who sees it or does it.
That is what Paul is getting at here. There are certain things that a man strong in the faith may see no harm in doing; but, if a person with a more narrow outlook saw him doing them, his conscious would be shocked; and if such a person were persuaded to do them himself his conscious would be outraged. We may take a very simple example. One man would genuinely see no harm in playing some outdoor game on Sunday, and he may be right; but another mans conscious is shocked at such a thing, and, if he were persuaded to take part in it, all the time he would have the haunting feeling that he were doing wrong.
Paul's advice is clear. It is a Christian duty to think of everything, not as it affects ourselves only, but also as it affects others. Note that Paul is not saying that we must always allow our conduct to be dictated by the views of others; there are matters which are essentially matters of principle, and in them a man must take his own way. But a great many things are neutral and indifferent; a great many things are neither in themselves good or bad; a great many things are not essential parts of life and conduct but belong to what we might call the extras of life. It is Paul's conviction that in regard to such things we have no right to give offense to the more scrupulous brother by doing them ourselves, or by persuading him to do them.
Life must be guided by the principle of love; and when it is, we will think, not so much of our right to do as we like as of our responsibilities ot others. We have no right distress another man's conscience in the things that do not really matter. Christian freedom must never be used as an excuse for rough riding over the genuine feelings of others. No pleasure is so important that it can justify bringing offense and grief, and even ruin to others. Augustine used to say that the whole Christian ethic could be summed up in a saying; "Love God, and do what you like". In a sense it is true; but Christianity consists of not only loving God; it consists of also loving our neighbor as ourselves.

My good friend

My friend and cousin Curt can only express and I can only offer hollow words!

I have all the answers!

I'm sitting hear listening to track 12 on Alice Deejay's cd. A song called "Everything Begins With An E". If you know the cd you'll know the track. But listening to it makes me feel like I have something missing in my life. It makes me feel like I should be sharing music like this with someone else. I am imagining words to the piano melody. And singing it to my gf or wife. Whatever she would be. And It makes me wonder what God has in store for me and 'when'. Do I really long for that, for a girl in my life, or am I not in the intimate relationship with Jesus Christ that I should be and this music is revealing to me that there is a void in my life and that it needs to be filled with something other than a girl. Because I know that if I am not fulfilled in Christ there is no one on earth that can fill the void that is left from that. I'd hum the song now, but you wouldn't hear me. But you know what, maybe it's just the song that I need to fill whatever it is that is empty. When I hear a song like this, and close my eyes, Everything that I deal with now, is gone, not a care in the world. idk. Maybe I'm just weird.

Read this (all ye FCG-ers)

I think it would be cool if you FCG-ers read THIS posted by my respected fellow blogger Brandon from MI. This post by Brandon may broaden ones views or maybe give some understanding to the "Jungle Section" as some call it. With alot of kids and noise.

April 26

If you know me, Please tell me if this is accurate to any extent. Thanks

Your Birthdate: April 26

Your birth on the 26th day of the month (8 energy) modifies your life by increasing your capability to function and succeed in the business world. In this environment you have the skills to work very well with others thanks to the 2 and 6 energies combining in this date. There is a marked increase in organizational, managerial, and administrative abilities. You are efficient and handle money very well. You're ambitious and energetic, while generally remaining cooperative and adaptable. You are conscientious and not afraid of responsibility. Generally sociable and diplomatic, you tend to use persuasion rather than force. You have a wonderful combination of being good at both the broad strokes and the fine detail; good at starting and continuing. This birthday is practical and realistic, often seeking material satisfaction.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Haha, check out this church

They definitely got their priorities striaght. But I'm sure they've never read the 91st Psalm! I wonder what they teach about in this church. "Carry a gun at all times and shoot if you think this person or their family could be a threat if they hated you and wanted to kill you someday in the future.. oh heck, just shoot everyone that way you are safe> Check out this awesomely crazy church!

Worship Trends

This was borrowed from THIS SITE because I found it interesting. They call it "5 recent trends in worship"

Styles and preferences in worship are a moving target. Once you think you've modernized they move again. This is the challenge to the baby boomers like me (and for early Xers). Boomers and early Xers inherited "revivalist remnant worship" from their parents. They examined it and pronounced it D.O.A. They wanted something more professional, more upbeat, more relevant, and, well, the term we preferred to use was more contemporary. That's it! So we launched "Contemporary Worship"-worship that was relevant to seekers and even people off the street. At least that's what we claimed to do. We imported a band, a "praise team" with a mic-a-piece (at first with large colored sponge heads) and we projected recent "praise choruses" on a large screen up front. We developed minute-by-minute schedules, spotlights, renamed the chancel/platform a "stage" and banished all "dead air" in our upbeat fast-paced brightly-lit services. We did this in most growing churches in the 1980s.



A HA! We had it now! We boomers had updated worship and had it the way we wanted it- "Contemporary worship." We were proud of our accomplishments, and the older folk who originally resisted us eventually shut up, died or moved to Florida. We had an atmosphere and musical style particularly suited to our boomer philosophy and tastes. We were satisfied. We had accomplished the revolution! Worship was what it was intended to be! We sat back and enjoyed our "contemporary worship."



The trouble with "contemporary" of course, is that by definition you can never achieve it. What does contemporary mean? Up to date this year? This week? Last night? What "contemporary" meant to most boomers was a 1980's style. The "radical contemporary worship revolution" was not an on-going revolution. Like most revolutionaries we got lazy once we took control. Boomers froze in the musical styles and tastes of the 1980s. Go ahead and see what we still sing... check the copyright dates-more than half of the songs are right out of the 1980's. Many of our boomer worship leaders now complain, "I can't find quality recent music," or, "I just don't connect with this new music." What they mean by this is that recent music doesn't fit their 1980's preferences. Like the Amish froze in the lifestyle of the 19th century, these worship leaders have frozen in the styles of the 1980's. Which is what makes it all so laughable. The students I work with weren't even in kindergarten when this "contemporary" style was introduced. Thus this curious result: most of my students consider our boomer contemporary worship "traditional worship!"



Among Evangelicals every generation seems compelled to make their worship styles reflect their generation's needs and tastes. So, along come the younger Xers and millennial generation who have been raised in "traditional" (that is, boomer) worship and they want to change things again! What is so amusing is how boomers have quickly become traditionalists-defending their own style of worship and resisting the innovations of the young. "If you want to do that-you'll just have to start your own church-you can't do that here."



Actually most boomer worship leaders don't have a clue about the most recent innovations. They are completely out of touch as they perpetuate their 1980's worship style, (with a few 1990's songs tossed in). Boomers have become just like the older folk whose style they overthrew. The revolutionaries became conservatives. And these boomers who now have a death grip on worship can't imagine why all the younger people can't settle down and worship their way-after all "worship isn't about styles anyway-let's just worship God" (meaning "worship God my way and quit trying to change things").



So, what are some of these recent trends the younger folk prefer (and many boomers are resist)?



1. Darkness.

Younger folk don't like boomer "bright light worship." They prefer covering up all the windows with black cloth and turning off most of the lights-leaving a dimly lit room. In this muted atmosphere you can't see the faces of the leaders or most other worshippers. It's a private atmosphere. And there will be candles. Lots of them. They'll light as many as 50 candles spreading them all over the sanctuary providing a flickering almost-spooky light for worship. Aghast, boomers say, "Why it's like a séance in there-it's too much like Devil-worship, I say."



2. Mellow.

Younger folk have largely discarded most of boomer upbeat "happy songs" and replaced them with a mellow mournful almost-blues style music. Triumphant praise choruses play a minor part in this style of worship. Sometimes called "meditative singing," this form of music provides a "sanctuary" or oasis environment in the hectic weekly schedule of the young. The tempo of these songs is often slowed to a crawl, and the tone is sad and mournful. It connects with the somber side of life. Such singing is soft and contemplative. Boomers complain, "It all feels so depressing-I expect worship to pick me up, not take me down."



3. Participation.

Younger folk really believe "worship is the act of the people." They despise performance, spotlights, and ego-tripping soloist-wannabe worship leaders. So how do they keep the worshippers eyes off the band and other worship leaders? They put them in the back, or at the side, and let the worship leader (sitting right in with everybody else) use a mic to start music and keep the tempo moving. Quickly these leaders let their voice die out so that the worshippers hear the collective singing of the entire audience, not the solo-with-accompaniment voice of the worship leader. It is an experience in corporate singing and corporate worship. What is left up front? The projected words on which to meditate, sometimes separate meaningful projected images to dwell on, and even meaningful objects to focus on-like the cross or other symbolic representation. Boomers react, "Nobody is in charge in there-if they'd put somebody in charge up front they could get this thing moving."



4. Singing as prayer.

Young folk see singing as a means of prayer. Boomers saw music primarily as a means of praise. Younger people see singing as a means of everything-praise, prayer and even preaching. Primarily singing is becoming prayer. It is corporate and personal devotions. The quote "He who sings prays twice" is popular among the young. Boomers had prayer too, but not as central to worship. For us boomers prayer is used as a means of getting people to quiet down or as a segue way to the next "set." Younger folk are making prayer the primary content of worship-through singing prayer that includes adoration, confession, thanksgiving, and even supplication.



5. Sensory.

Younger folk want to touch, taste, smell, and feel something in worship along with seeing and hearing. Worship is not something to watch or listen to for them-it is something to sense. Thus they hand out mementoes in worship-a thorn, a piece of string or a grape to hold during the service. They use scented candles hat make the place small like an ancient cathedral. They plan for symbolic actions-like walking to the front to stick the thorn they've been holding into a Styrofoam cross, or to drop the card on which they've written their sins onto metal plate to be burned. They do "stations of the cross" type moving about the room doing different actions at each location. They even are reintroducing frequent Communion, providing an action, touch and taste in one act. Boomers think all this moving around is too much trouble and say, "Why don't they just let me sit here and rest-why do they keep making me walk around or get in groups?"





What is driving these trends? New "bands" dedicated to worship, for sure. But also student movement like the huge ministry to "post moderns" at Graceland (Santa Cruz Bible Church) observed by Andrea Summers (See also Andrea's Andrea's response to this essay). Other influences--and perhaps most significant of all, is the world-wide Taizé student worship movement in Europe which is rapidly spreading and influencing student worship in America. An increasing number of US churches are now offering a Taizé service and young people are thronging to them.



There are, of course, other trends among the next generation's worship but these five seem most prominent now. So, what do you think? Will boomers are early Xers be able to absorb the best of millennial worship preferences? Or, do you agree with me-that to have this sort of worship the younger folk will folk have to start their own worship services? If they start their own worship services what will we call them? Hey, I've got an idea! Let's call it "contemporary worship!" Then we can rename our own services "Traditional worship?"

"WE" got it firgured out, Not you!

I get a kick out of these bloggers etc. (Myself included, just check my previous posts) that sound like they got it figured out. And that their political hero can't do anything wrong. My party is doing the greatest thing right now, is yours, I dont think so. One person, because they follow a certain party, can "repeat" all the logic they hear about a certain topic, put it all together from various sources and blog it like "Hey look what I thought up". So anyway, here's to the next biased political post I put on my blog! Don't worry, it's comin soon!

New Home for this stuff.

I am currently looking for a new home for the following stuff. So if you are interested in buying any of it. Let me know. THis is all stuff that I purchased recently and don't use or have a use for. Or stuff that I can no longer dedicate the time to maintain it.

1. 75 gallon aquarium complete setup. 18 months old.

2. 29 gallon aquarium complete setup. 18 months old.

3. 250GB iomega USB 2.0 external hard drive. 6 months old. 8 hours of use

4. USB hub. NEW

5. 128mb USB storage mini. NEW

6. Subwoofer system for car audio.

7. 13" Male Parachromis Dovii (wolf cichlid)

Matthew 2:2 "We are come to worship MWS" .......

O come let us adore Him,
O come let us adore Him,
O come let us adore Him
Michael W. Smith

We'll give Him all the glory,
We'll give Him all the glory,
We'll give Him all the glory
Michael W. Smith

Oh, wait.. that's not how it goes..

It should end with "Christ the Lord"

But that is what I got after watching MWS upclose at Creation Fest this year. From the promotion of his new film on the jumbo-trons as his introduction, to how he flicked his hair and ran his hand through his hair as he sang. To his faithful reminder to his fans that he and George W. Bush are buddies.(maybe now isn't a good time to remind us of that) Anyway, Michael W. Smith was a big turn off this year at Creation. At first I thought it was just me being over sensitive to how the show was done.. but everyone I talked to about it felt the same way. He put on more of a "me" show this time than I have ever seen him do. He just seemed like he was really really into himself and all. Now, that's not to say I don't like bands who put on a good show and know who they are as a band. "Mercy Me" put on a big show, they actually brought in extra generators just to power up all Mercy Me's 6+ extra screens.. But I'm sure there is not one person who thinks they were too into themselves. I guess it's all in good taste.. I mean..Mercy Me did the band introductions as they walked off the stage and left no time for people to applaud them individually. (good taste, i thought) The Newsboys put on a huge show every year, but the way that Peter Furler conducts himself just doesn't have the same affect as MWS does. I almost wished Jon Reuben woulda popped his head out from backstage so we could start chanting "Get off the stage" without sounding too rude! But anyway, Michael W. Smith, get over yourself. One thing that I thought of is that he is so successful in his career and now he is a lead actor in a movie. He probably can't help but to get a big head and show off and bring attention to himself on stage.. when he is supposed to be leading worship and pointing all eyes and hearts to God, not his new movie coming out!! Time for a new worship leader.. If you think so too, Matt Redman is coming in the fall!

Learning; Isn't that what it's all about?

These last couple days have been a learning experience for me. Through dicussion and explanation I have been learning some important lessons that I hope stick with me. I learned that it is ok to disagree with someone, and it is healthy to discuss your disagreements. One reason it is good is because both parties have the oppurtunity to understand each other more clearly. So even if you do not agree with someone, if you take the time and make the effort to understand, you may avoid hard feelings and unnecessary and wrong assumptions about them. So all in all I found it out to be good. Granted that the dicussions are not over, and as they say "The best is yet to come". Meaning I am awaiting an explanation that should clear up any misunderstanding I may have had. That is not to say that I will agree with everything that is explained, and it's not to say that I will disagree with any of it.. It's simply saying that I will hopefully have an understanding. And at that point, whether I agree or disagree is irrelevant!

Udating profile pic

This is an attempt to update my profile picture. The old one was about 4 years old .. shame on me!!

Am I Really That Shallow??

I wonder if I am really that shallow that when people start trashing my efforts and putting me down, that I let it get to me? Do I really depend on other people's opinions of me to tell what mood I'll be in? Am I really that shallow? I'd like to think i'm not, but idk, no one ever sees themself the same way other people do. Maybe you can help me if you know me. It'd be cool, cause this is really starting to suck majorly. Or, maybe I don't want to hear what you have to say, that is, if, i'm really as shallow as I think I may be -------

Creation 2002.... 05 whatever

I went to Creation Fest this year.. but it was different for me.. and it seems like the meaning changed.. It's not that I don't like it.. It's idk.. Actually I was asked tonight, via email, why/what I felt that way about it. So maybe when I reply to the email.. i'll post it as the rest of this post.

Lost my bookmarks

When my firefox when ka-put i lost my bookmarks and my bookmark titled 'Blogs'. I need a favor. If you read this post and have a blog of your own, could you please leave a comment so i have your blog address again. I don't konw how to retrieve my list! I'm lost without my daily dose of blog reading. THANx

PK 2005; The Last Day

Well, I was back at PK this morning and was tired as crap! But, I still got up and went. Today was the day I was looking fwd. to , actually it was this afternoon that I was looking fwd. to. But at the same time I was not looking fwd. to it, because it would expose who I am and expose me for what I do with my life. For the last few months my life has been spiraling out of control. One thing after another after another, from things I would neglect to do that should be done to things I would do even tho I knew (not thought) knew were wrong. To scarring relationships with the people I love the most, to ruining ones that could have been great. To neglecting God's Word each night to not living it on a daily basis! But at the same time my heart burned within my chest and I yearned to do the will of God. And be the man that God intended me to be! I can relate to the Apostle Paul when he said (Paraphrased) "I do what I hate and I hate what I do, but all the while have a sincere desire to do differently". That is what he meant anyway. The weekends Promise Keepers theme is "Begin your unpredictable adventure". Through the power of the Holy Spirit and with Jesus as my guide and counselor, I WILL begin my unpredictable adventure. I'm not saying that it's going to be easy because quite honestly sometime the struggle and the fight just really suck! I hear that Jesus is 'the way, the truth and the life' but all the while I'm living my way, not knowing what real truth is and risking missing out on Life. I am convinced that I am spiritually asleep and need a spiritual awakening process. I need to be woke up and become a spiritual warrior! I had lost hope in my heart and doubted that I would come back to that place in my life again, or at least for along time! I've learned and am studying the characteristics of an awakened warrior; 1. An awakened warrior guards his heart. Something that I am guilty of not doing, I got to the point in my life where if it was good for the moment, what the hell, do it! But with the help of Jesus Christ I will work to be the awakened warrior He wants me to be. 2. An awakened warrior walks in the spirit. nuff said about that.. #1 speaks enough about my lack in that dept. and 3. An awakened warrior gets back up when he falls! Listening to God speak to me is said to be an important part of learning, growing and living a true life. 5 things that can help me to get into the Word daily are these; 1. Find a time and place that is stictly for reading the Word, no interruptions. 2. Read until God speaks to me. 3. Read Daily! 4. Share what I read. now there is an issue, sure I can share what I read with my family, but to do that with other men brings a whole different perspective. thats not the issue. The issue is that where I come from we are taught that 'small group'/'mens group' is a no-no. Why, I honestly can't say, but i've been saying for a year now that we should do it, have a mens group. But some of the men who I talk to about have a hang up somewhere. I do not know what it is, but I can only suspect. Could it be that the pastor thinks it's 'not necessary and could lead to a division among the brothers' so the men don't want to go against the pastor EVEN THOUGH they feel it is perfectly in God's approval?? I don't know, I can only guess. ok, #5 KEEP GOING. keep reading and progressing. And I add my own #6 LIVE IT. live what I read no just read it but put it into practice daily! Why is this so hard when I desperately have the desire!!?? whew. !! In starting to discover my purpose in life some of the things that were pointed out to me were these; God has made me a unique person. And not only am I unique, but God has given me a unique passion. That passion makes life worth the living. God made me the way I am so I could do what it is He wants me to do. And God has designed me for a unique purpose. Ok, I admit, sometime this is very very hard to believe. But through the power of Jesus, I will strive to believe and trust the source, GOD. In the homelife, my homelife can and does come a bumpy road! concerning kids (now, I don't have kids,,,,yet. But someday I want to have a family of my own, a wife to adore and cherish and love and who loves me unconditionally and kids that look at me and love me) I think i'll cry alot when/if I'm a daddy someday. I hope and pray that I get to see that day when I have the privilege to bring a child into the world! But back to what I was saying! Concerning kids, (now i do have some that I am responsible for as they were my own) involvment is HUGE to them. Involvement comes from availibility. One of the hardest things "HAS BEEN" to 'live according to the way so I can train according to the way'. But through the power of the blood that has changed tonight! I understand that to teach kids, i must be transparent to them, admitting when i'm wrong, and apologizing!!! Even kids know that talk is cheap, most of them learn that from their parents ! Just as I am unique I have to remember that each child is unique. I cannot use a one style of training fits all. But one thing that is universal is that the fear of the Lord is top priority in training children. Not only for them but for them to see it in me. My work, OH NO THE THOUGHT OF IT! ! ! I know that everyone must work, or not eat as the Bible says. I was taught, and am still pondering the things that I must take to work with me each day (And none included my brother, YES!) but ok, i'll still take him. :) The things I must take to work are 1.a sense of calling. Now I don't know about you, but that's a new concept. Calling to be an engine rebuilder. I didn't ask or apply for the job. It fell in my lap 10 years ago fresh out of highschool. But with alittle bit of understanding and instruction I am beginning to see where they are coming from when they say 'a sense of calling'. So much for that, i was going to use the word 'calling' to be the reason why I would 'resign'. JK! I am to receive my work as worship, everything I do, everyone I meet (ugh) I am to consider it worship and do it to the best of my ability for the Lord. In doing that I am to pour myself into my God given assignments. Even tho is my boss telling me what do to, it is God telling him. (Of course it's not God through him when he tells me to beet up the neighbor kids) but I am old and wise and can discern that I think! And ultimately, in all of this, God will reward me. #2. is Responsibility. Provision is tied to responsibility. In reality if I don't work and bring home the bread, we don't eat. So that is pretty basic for me. i think. I am to run from the tendency to be lazy and stick to MY business. not anyone elses but mine. THAT is responsibility. #3. is VALUE. Where ever I work, where ever God places me should be a better place because I work there. We should make an impression on that work place and bring value to it. And even when I feel ontop my game, I am never to stop progressing and learning. Improving my skills has no end. #4 Credibility. Being Honest, Honorable and trustworthy and a big part of credibility. One way to know what we will do in the future for a boss, is what we have done in the past. If we've been a slacker, we will be a slacker. If we were productive and an assett, we will continue to be productive and more of an assett. And in wondering why God doesnt give me bigger and better things, is because I have to ask myself; 'have I been faithful with and am I developing in what He has already given me or where I am now?? and #5. Sense of Mission. If I don't go to work on a mission for souls, i've missed something in the Christian life. Not necessarily to preach to everyone. but to win them by the life I live and the way I work in fear and reverance for the Lord Jesus Christ. With Him as my guide and my strength I will pursue the righteousness of Christ. Will it be hard?? Harder than I know!! Am I committed?? Only while walking by the side of the One who will hold my hand!! Do I fear?? You bet!! Dear God, I am venturin into a new phase of life. fearful; fearful of you and of what I'm entering into. Please Lord, don't let it be a one month thing and then die off !!!! Let it be a one life thing and enter into eternal life !!

Now if you read this by chance and think "Man, Jeff, lemme give ya a hug, man." You missed it, need more a slap on the back of hte head and saying, "c'mon, get with it dude, you are wasting your life and who knows who elses" !!

JF

PK 2005; my first night

Ok, so Promise Keepers 2005 has brought its first night. I attended and was encouraged and inspired. But being encouraged and inspired is totally useless IF I dont put them into works and into change. If I could tell you bluntly, last year, PK 2004 was a waste for me, it was useless, only because I am worse off spiritually one year later. But my heart breaks and yearns to be the man God wants me to be. I plead and I cry to God to give me the strength to change whatever it is that is my stumbling block. I search and search I pray and I pray but still there is something that is missing. Is it God, that is missing? Idk, Like I said, i'm confused about what isn't going right in this puzzle. It's like once I do something I shouldn't or don't do something I should, it's a downward spiral and its Fast, just incase you were wondering. I mean I could sit there and listen to the speakers and say "That's some good stuff" "That's a good way to put it" "thats a good challenge" but if I never put it into practice, accept and meet the challenges or if my poor spiritual condition dosen't improve, (Read my fingers) IT IS ALL FOR NOTHING ! ! ! USELESS AS TRASH ! ! ! If I don't open my proud eyes and listen, accept AND CHANGE, i'm dead. But I cannot do it without Christ, He is by far the most important part of this if it's going to work. That's the kicker, I'm not sure what's missing. And btw, this post is not asking for advice or nothing. Oh, and one speaker said. That to be encouraged you need to surround youself with men of God, but when i try to do that, they don't seem to have the interest to be looked up to by this struggling young man. Or they will deny that i'm struggling as much as I am. (Whacking them on head) Hello, I'm telling you im slipping and falling.. Hello!! Don't disregard my cry for help, o friend !! Ok, so i'm off to sleep, encouraged and inspired.. will it last. God I hope so.. I leave at 6 a.m. for a full day on Saturday. See what I come back with then ..

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday To Kelly
Happy Birthday To You

Need Help With Firefox!!

I opened firefox and it gave me the option to pick either "Default" or "Default User" when I chose default user it didnt let me open.. when I chose Default.. it opened but with no favorites or nothing.. Im lost do any of you (Jon C.) know how to recover my lost bookmarks/settings. Or am I back to square one? I appreciate any input.

JF

No More Mr. Nice Guy

See my boss at work was right no more mr nice guy i feel like im always tryin to be a nice guy but in the end always gettin screwed and everytime i get the short end of the deal i say that next time ill just leave without confirming that you dont need a ride or ill just not consider you or whatever just shut up jeff no one cares anyway sometime i feel like i ramble and the cup that holds my pens and pencils and silver sharpies looks at me and says enough already dude the pity party is working ot as it is yeh cup that holds that stuff i know i get it anway if you didnt get the news no more mr nice guy

So here's a peek

I cannot post the whole dilema because the person I write about may someday read my blog. As of now, they don't. Unless of course they did a search on google with my name and found it that way. A new friend of mine has asked me to go to a social 'thing' with her. I've never met her and just saw her pic today. It kinda weirded me out that she would ask me to attend w/her when she never met me in person. Now, should I be concerned of this person. Whether I should go or not is not a question to me, I already said, "I cannot go". But my question to those who care to comment, should I be concerned? and Why/not? Let me know what you think, my wise counselors!!

Dilema

I have a dilema, but not posting it right now. Another topic, for not being a reader, i got alot of reading material in the mail today. This months CCM, this months Relevant and a letter from my friend in prison. So adios for now, friend or stranger. Btw, what should I do with my dilema. you see, when I have to make a choice, I usually pick the 'easier' route, not there is a right or wrong, just that there is one way or the other and neither being right or wrong. I guess it has to do more with self consciousness and shyness.. i know, you're thinking, Jeff? You? Shy? I'll be darned!

Kelly's Blog

I think everyone who knows kelly, or even if you don't, should go to this blog (her old one) and comment along with me and taj about this guy stealing her blog. c'mon ppl get with the program.

Father's Day

It's Father's Day, what the he11 do you want me to say? No big saga, no long story, nothing because in reality who really cares anyway

The Citizen's arrest

Ok, Thanks Shauna for being the single person who wat interested in hearing the story. At least I know someone is still reading my blog! :) Anyway. It starts as I stop by the house around 10:45pm to pick up Cindy, my 13 year old sister. And as we get about 5 blocks from home, I come to a stoplight with a car in front of me with no lights and an SUV in front of it. The guy gets out of the SUV waiving his hands and at the same time the car with no lights makes a U turn. At that point I thought, "I know what just happened"> A hit and run. So as I floor it in reverse to make the intersection for a U turn, the car is now going down a side street and has not yet seen me following. I already have a 911 operator on the phone and I'm trying to tell her, hit and run at Lawndale and Robbins.. As I round the corner I see the car spinning about 3 times in the middle of the street. He had just hit about 6 parked cars doing about 65mph. As I flew down Lawndale 4 males jumped out of the car and ran. I had just enough space to squeeze by and followed on male that I was sure came from the car. To backtrack, when I made that U turn I had a split second decision to make. do i follow or drive on. Now I apologized 10 times to Cindy for scaring her and having her witness that. but I made the decision and never looked back. OK, so the male is running around the corner and as he hits a driveway I'm right behind him in the car. I hit tha breaks, throw it in park and reach under my seat for my 4 cell mag light! He is now at a slow job since he saw me come in. As I ran up the driveway, I told him (more simplified) to "hit the ground (sir)" ha. He ran toward a fence and I told him again. "Do not jump that fence, Stop and put your hands on your head and hit the ground" at that (thankfully) he stopped looked at me and layed down. I proceeded to kneel on the center of his back, his hands under his head. I asked him, "you got anything on you, drugs, a gun"? When he said no, I quickly patted his pockets and pants to make sure he didn't try something sly on me later on. I got back on the phone with a 911 operator and notified them who I was and where I was. In the driveway. The suspect complained that with me kneeling on his back made it hard to breathe, so I told him I was going to stand up so he could breathe but he better now move. He still complained about being hard to breathe so I let him sit against the fence and he cooperated. I asked him why he ran, he replied "I got 4 warrants, what did you expect me to do". To which I replied, "well with 4 warrants, i guess i'd say run". Lucky for me there was a lady standing at her back door who witnessed everything from me chasing him to the end. The police officers finally got there about 10 min. after the initial call and thanked me. Oh and by the way, immediately after apprehending the suspect I made a phone call and had Cindy picked up by my sister because I knew she was scared. And just incase you are wondering, "is what I just read legal?" the answer is absolutely YES. The law states that if you as a civilian see a crime being committed or a suspect running from a crime and you are more than certain that you have the right man, you have the legal right to apprehend the suspect and if he resists you have the right to use only the force necessary to apprehend the suspect and hold him for police to arrive. Granted that it may get you a day in court as a witness, I thought of that only after the fact and thought, well for that adrenaline rush, I'll go! I've been subpeonad before it's only a day out of my life.!! And in the end it turned out that the car was stolen, the tag was stolen, the driver has 4 warrants for arrest, he was only 17 and never had a license to drive a car. For my heroic efforts I recieved a "Thanks". Which was good enough for me.

-The End-

Arrested!!

I made a citizen's arrest tonight, man, talk about adrenaline rush! Maybe I'll post the whole story sometime, but right now i'm too tired.

Dreams

This poem was written by a friend of mine who is in prison for a long time. Read it over and over until you understand what he is saying;

In sadness I wait
For years to abate
.... no homecoming for me.

Dream for me
As you've never dreamed before
... I can dream no more

My nightmare has become the dream
My everything
...& choices are so hard.

Hard as it is to temper and anneal
The abstract into words
.... for humans

You do not understand
The words of an animal
Cages breed animals
.....I bark at you.

Blockbuster pulls through for me

Blockbuster may be biased against the Latino community but not towards me. I get my movie pass almost every month from Blockbuster. My usual thing is to pay cash and cancel before the end of the month. This past month as I left the store shortly after purchasing the movie pass for the 5th month in a row for the introductory rate, I asked 'Abneer' to cancel my movie pass. To which he replied, "Sure, I'll take care of it". But as it ends up he never did that and it ended up renewing on my debit card. That would not have been such a big deal except that my debit card drew from my checking account which was at a low point and overdrew my acccount incurring a $30 overdraft fee. Remember, I'm paying the introductory rate for the movie pass for 5 months, i'm not about to pay $56.74 for one now. When I go into Blockbuster on Wed.night the manager in the store, Raja, says that there is nothing he can do because he is not the store manager and the pass was technically already used because my movies are back late. Which technically is a bunch of bull crap. The reason I say that is because even before the 'no more late fees' promotion that Blockbuster has, I was always getting out of late fees. So I know it can be done. Well it ends up that the represenatives from Bank of America could not do enough to help me out. When the woman asked if there was anything else she could help me with today, I said,"Yes, you could train Blockbuster's employees to be as nice and helpful as you guys are". And if that wasn't enough the lady apologized on behalf of Blockbuster! So anyway, Bank of America immediately credited the amount of Blockbuster's un-authorized transaction to me and made it their problem to get the money back from Blockbuster. How cool of a bank is that!? They also credited back the overdraft fees saying that it obviously was not my fault for the overdraft. But I have a tip for you, if you get an overdraft fee from Bank of America, if you take the time to inquire about getting it removed, I've been 100% successful with 4 attempts in a year. So all in all, Bank of America could not have been more helpful. But Blockbuster employees at the Rising Sun and Longshore store, Raja and Abneer, could have been alittle more supportive of a customrer with a problem. Oh, and the deal I made with blockbuster was taht they could refund hte money to me if I didnt rent from them for 30 days. Go figure. But I took it.

Volleyball humor

Here's the issue; every Memorial Day we (church/family) have this huge picnic. There are about 500+ people there. There are always loads of games of some kind going on. I usually play volley ball. That's where the interesting part comes in. There is this one guy, we'll use the name J as a generic name. We'll get back to the name later. The game of volley ball consists of one ball, one net and from 8-12 players. We used 12 players this game. Normally when you play volleyball the only thing allowed to touch the net OR go past it, is the ball. Anything else that passes or touches the net is a penalty. Well that rule goes out the window as soon as the guys I play with show up. Some time the net is actually pulled down literally to waist level on a multiple (4) person slam. You see, I don't really care which way we play, whether we play straight up street volley ball or if we play strictly by the rules volley ball. Included in street volleyball is 'pass interference' which is when the second hit is being hit parrallel with the net to another player on your team and the opposing team reaches over the net and hits it down. Also in street volley ball 'full net slams' are legal, which is a slam in which the person slamming the ball actually hits the net with his armpit. And an all new hit that is clearly illegal by any rule book is one that 'J' made up today. Picture this discription of what took place. It was a two handed hit; the ball came down to him he placed one hand on either side of the ball, directly across from each other and as he closed his hands on the ball he spun it over the net. You have to imagine that in fast motion. You see, I don't care by what rules we play by, but I want everyone on the court to play by the same rules. That play with the grab/spin was clearly illegal, but no one dares say anything to 'J' because he will deny that he did anything wrong in the game. The slams where the net touches his armpit, nothing wrong he would say, or the pass interference, nothing wrong he would say. And I would also say there is nothing wrong with it IF everyone could do the same thing and get away with it. As the game went on I started to get enough of his reaching behind our front line to slam it and the unique grab/spin of the ball that I went up (after the opposing team's third hit) went over the front line, and spiked it down. Only to get yelled at by half the team. The point I made was that; If 'J' can do it the whole game and no one say anything about, how come I can't do the same thing and get away with it?? I can tell you why; It's because everyone knows that 'J' is a big baby when it comes to sports, there is no way that whatever he did he would admit that he was wrong. He may get a cute face on and say,"oh c'mon guys, its only a game, its all in fun". Well guess what 'J' its may be just a game, but you are clueless if you think of it that way. People play sports and put their hearts in to it and have you come out and break the rules and then laugh and say c'mon guys, it's only a game let's have fun. But c'mon 'J' quit being so clueless, there are rules and you have no right to play if you are going to break them!! Some people think that volleyball is a game of sheer brute strength! But it's not, it's a game of creativeness, skill, and athleticism and most of all RULES!!! Get with the program 'J' it's about rules and for some reason everyone is afraid to remind of you of that, I think it's because they know that you don't care about the rules and you'll be right anyway. They know you will argue or get a cute face and act as tho 'you' are the baby instead of him. Well it's about time that people stood up for what is right, the RULES, and if 'J' can't follow the rules like everyone else, GO HOME< SIT OUT!! "Get a clue dude"!

Dr. Dobson gets the boot for more loot

Dr. James Dobson of Focus on The Family and Family.org lost the support of his old friend recently. Dr. Neil Clark Warren of eHarmony.com wants to distance himself from Focus on The Family saying they they are 'deadly'. Warren has recently bought back his books that Focus has published, so that he can remove the "Focus on The Family" logo from the their covers. eHarmony started out marketing to only Christian websites and only Christian 'customers'. But Dr. Warren wants to appeal to and assist a global base. He wants to help people of all backgrounds, all races, all political orientations etc. to find their soulmates, not just Christians. Dr. Warren says that, "If we have Focus on The Family on the top of our books, it's a killer! Because Focus on The Family occupies a very precise political position and a very precise spiritual position"
Dr. Warren says that his site promotes heterosexual marriage because he has done extensive research on it and designed a website for matching heterosexual couples.But Dr. James Dobson has a problem with Dr. Warren not actively speaking out against gay and lesbian couples and marriage. For anyone who knows Dr. Dobson or listens to his daily show, knows that when he speaks out, he really speaks out about something. And he has a HUGE following of people who will do whatever whenever he says to. He has a devout following. (almost as devout as a muslim extremest) If Dr. Dobson says to call your state represenative's office and complain about something, millions of people will call. If he says to boycott a certain product, it will be boycotted for sure. Sort of reminds you of a cult following, it's so devout. If Dr. Neil Clark Warren is a businessman. Now from a strictly business point of view, Dr. Warren made a very good decision to further his business and his customer base when he decided to distance himself from Dr. Dobson and Focus on The Family. Focus holds very narrow political views compared to the Liberal side of our country. Focus holds many spiritual views that most of our country finds odd at the least. Focus speaks out against most non-christian political decisions. You see, Focus on the Family has it's set of beliefs and standards and if you or your organization do not fall within those beliefs and standards, they will speak out against you and in some extreme cases load your switchboard with calls, or mass email you or even boycott your products. Now, by no means am I saying that Focus is wrong, I'm just saying that they have taken a big step to stay in what they believe is the 'right light'. To do what's right, in other words. By taking that step and putting themselves in that position, they have to expect to lose some support from people who have a broader view than Dobson does. If Dr. Warren wants to grow his business, he will first have to throw down anything that would limit him. First and foremost, Focus on the Family and Dr. James Dobson would severely limit him and his companies growth. If Dr. Dobson is hated by most of the more liberal politicians and most of the media and alot of the people in our country, how could a dating service such as eHarmony gain those people as customers if they see that Dr. Dobson and Focus are supported by eHarmony. The answer is clear for eHarmony, dump Focus to boost sales. It would sort of be like if a man was trying to sells weed on the corner of North Philly, if he were clean cut with a blue uniform and a silver badge he wouldn't get many customers, but if that same man put on dingy clothes and was a big more scruffy, his business would boom. It's all in what you are associated with.

King George

This is probably the 5th blog to post this but just incase you didn't see it. Think about this.

How important are you anyway?

I've been thinking about how people make themselves to be self-important. What I mean by that is the way they carry themselves or how they present themselves or who they do not associate with etc. Recently at a church picnic, we were all in line for our buffet style food and the person in charge said, "If we could bow our heads Pastor " " will ask the blessing on the food". I was surprised when I saw that this person never removed his hat for the prayer. Now i've been taught since I was knee high to a camel that you always remove your hat when you pray, when you eat and when you enter a house. My theory on this particular person this time is that I think they were focusing so much on being important and receiving the glory for the 'big day' they planned that they forgot to remove their hat. Yeh i know that praying with your hat on won't send you to hell, it's just that this person actually believes you should remove your hat but this time forgot about it. So back to the self importance... There are many people who make themselves out to be important. I think that that goes along the lines of my theory on those who know alot and those who know little. "Those who know alot will talk little" "Those who know little will talk alot". you do the math.

Down sizing

Ok, so it's final. I'm downsizing my fish collection and their habitats. My two Motaguensis are leaving me no later than Monday May 16 and one of my 75g setups is going the follwing week. I am keeping my Dovii in my original setup. Wish me good luck in catching him. He is 12+ inches and super aggressive. My Motaguensis pair are laying eggs as I write and they are up to about 500 and counting. So I will have some babies to raise in my 29g tank that I'm keeping for now. That's my excitement for now and yes.. you are right.. its not taht exciting.. its been one of those couple months.

Happy Mother's Day, Momma

Well, it's here again Mom, it's your day. Your day to be pampered and to relax and to celebrate you being the greatest mom. And yeah, you've been greater than any mom could, you've taught more and advised more than any other. I wouldn't trade our time together for anything in the world. Momma, I miss your terribly, when I need to turn to someone, all the important people are out of my life. When there is something significant that I want to tell, the excitement fades fast when I realize that anyone who'd genuinely care is gone. Yeh, Mom, sure there are people who would listen, but I don't want that. I will never have what you gave me again. I was the world. The kisses on the head when I was home from school sick. The love when I was hurt by someone else. The fun times and the laughs. Mom it was the words and now it's gone. I sit here and wonder what is supposed to happen now. I know its almost 8 years later but the hurt and emptiness is still there. I've needed you in the last few months and you're gone but the love is always there!! I'll see you someday but i'm not there yet! Well Mom, if there is anyway to get you the message "Happy Mother's Day".

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

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Yes im still here

Just a note that I am still alive. I'll be sure to let you know if that changes.

Whew!

Ok, not that anyone remembers what im talking about. But I got over all my Birthday disappointments. And things are back to normal. I know you're thinking.. "wow that's a warped state of normal". But it's normal to us. :) Anyway. Have mixed feelings about my aquariums after I spent the night in the yard cleaning, grooming and fixing the machines used to do that, I enjoyed myself. Maybe it's a sign of getting old and hopeless, I spend evening in the yard fixing lawn mowers, cutting the grass and watering flowers, alone, and enjoy myself. If that seems to be a concern.. then save me, I may be falling into my 50's before I hit 25!! But im sure i'm ok, i think

FDNY

I listened to the 9/11 radio transmissions between the fire companies tonight. One word, Chilling. They were brave.

WTF?

Was that funny? My weekend wasn't. It was supposed to be a fun weekend. They had things planned and asked me to go. They only had me looking fwd. to it for two weeks and 18 hours before it's time to leave they say "we're not going". When I asked 'why not?'. They said, "becasue half the ppl don't wanna go". When I asked all the ppl, only one of them said it was true. "Just tell me the damn truth!" So yeah, my weekend sucked but that's not an anomaly it's more like a trend. I'll end this post abruptly before I decide to post my real feelings and then this post will not have any relevance!!!

The Worst City ?

Monday's edition of Time Magazine ran a story that claimed Mayor John Street of Philadelphia one of the three worst mayors or big cities in the U.S.

Apr 17, 2005 10:11 am US/Eastern
NEW YORK (AP) Time magazine has named what it calls the “five best big city mayors” in America, giving the distinction to New York’s Michael Bloomberg, Atlanta’s Shirley Franklin, Baltimore’s Martin O’Malley, Chicago’s Richard Daley and Denver’s John Hickenlooper.

And in a sure boon to their political opponents, Detroit’s Kwame Kilpatrick, San Diego’s Dick Murphy and Philadelphia’s John Street were dubbed the nation’s three worst mayors.

The lists appear in the issue of the magazine that hits newsstands Monday. Neither list was ranked, and the mayors were listed in alphabetical order. Gavin Newsom of San Francisco received an honorable mention; No dishonorable mention was awarded.

The magazine said it consulted with “urban experts” who chose from among the 29 mayors who lead cities with populations greater than 500,000.

“It is tempting to judge our mayors for the little things that make city life livable, the depth of the potholes, the smell of the streets, whether or not the traffic lights are in synch,” the magazine said. “But the best mayors have also been those who act on a grand scale, building bridges, saving schools, finding the funds that cities lack.”

Time praised O’Malley for implementing the computerized statistics program CitiStat and Bloomberg for trimming New York’s budget deficit and taking control of the public schools.

It cited Daley’s “near imperial power” in Chicago, Franklin’s work on a new ethics code for municipal employees and Hickenlooper’s high approval ratings.

The magazine criticized Kilpatrick for leasing a $24,995 cherry red Lincoln Navigator for his wife on the city’s dime, despite a $230 million budget deficit. It mentioned Murphy’s handling of a $1.3 billion deficit at the city’s public-employee pension fund.

Time singled out Street for criticism because of the corruption allegations involving his administration.
Former City Treasurer Corey Kemp is on trial over allegations that he took bribes. Jury deliberations in the case are expected to resume Monday.

A spokesman for Street said the magazine ignored the mayor’s role in helping turn around a blighted city.
“Crime is down. Taxes are lower. Housing values are up. Population loss has virtually stopped for the first time in 50 years. But instead they are basing their criticism on unproven allegations,” said Street spokesman Dan Fee. “They are not applying a consistent standard.”

I could have told you that without all the research! From the beginning when he said, "The brothers and sisters run this city now" to the corruption scandal that took place, maybe not with him, but with his 'brothers and sisters'. It has been problem after problem from what the average person can see. Let me make a point; if we had a white mayor and he said, "Finally us white folk can run this city right once again", you'd have Jesse Jackson, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr., Jackie Robinson, Matthew Henson, Thurgood Marshall, Ruby Bridges and James Baldwin in this city crying that civil rights were violated! Ok ok, maybe not all those people, some of them are dead and some really wouldn't give a hoot. But you got my point im sure! The corruption, who pays for the legal fees that are in the millions of dollars? We do!! The City tax payers do, why not? If I were being investigated for fraud or corruption im sure the government at some level would kick in and foot the bill right? why not? They are doing it for this man who brought this on himself! Now my whole point in all of this is not to prove to you that i'm a racist, because I don't think I am. The point being that we may not live in the worst city or necessarily be the worst people, BUT, we do have the worst mayor and alot of really really dumb people. I can see electing John Street into office as mayor for his first term, seeing that he was a failure and saying to ourselves "Ok, we made a mistake, let's learn and move on". But no, we have to stick our heads in our hind quarters and re-elect him a second term! And say to him, go ahead take our city down a few more notches,,, brother.

the pope

It's amazing how so many people can put so much into one mortal man. I know it is sad when people die and especially if you look to that man or have alot of respect. But to think that a mere man is next to Jesus Christ is a little over the top. And as the Angry Agnostic said the american media puts so much emphasis on such insignificant things. The pope is insignificant in the way that what does it matter who the pope is, he is just a man who makes church law. He cannot forgive sin, he cannot save a person from hell and he may not even escape hell himself. There is nothing that says that the pope is guarenteed a place in heaven. He must go by the same grace that the rest of us seek. It is just reall intersting that a mortal man is held almost as high as our Holy Father. (and no, I don't mean the pope, he is not our Holy Father)

A Pile of Rant

I find it amusing that people will actually remember what I blogged ages ago. The other day someone asked me about a film or something and when I replied, they'd like to have a cow because that is not how I responded a year ago. Well excuse me! You see, a year ago was a long time. If ppl kept the same opinions about things and the same convictions or beliefs to the T it would be a boring world with boring people! RT? Anyway, finally got into the spring yard work mood this weekend. went out and got an S load of topsoil for the box around my plum tree and planted wild flower seeds. Hopefully they grow to look nice. I got tired of trying to get flowers to grow in that shaded area. Although the Impatients are nice they are too common and we've had them for the last 25 summers. Cindy wants to plant tomatoes this year, so more power to her, we will buy her some tomato plants when its time to plant. I think it's more important to let someone of her age to get involved and plant something or help out in a hobby kind of yard work thing, even if it is totally wacked.. she will keep the interest as long as someone pats her on the back and says.. 'good job'! So the yard may look funny (im sure it wont) but Cindy will plant what she wants! The baby fish are growing fast.. no new pics yet but they are coming.. im busy and lazy.. so i guess the happy medium is normal.. RT?Anyway I added a new blog to my list of daily read blogs (Angry Agnostic) while at the same time I deleted one from my daily read list because it had music playing.. I dont know why.. but it pissed me off that someone would have the nerve to play their music on my computer trying to read and enjoy my own music. The part that pissed me off the most is that I use Mozilla Firefox for my browser and when I read my blogs I open all 15 of them in tabs. So when the music started playing.. I had to exit them one at a time to see who was playing the music.. and at that point.. I just deleted it! If you dont use Mozilla Firefox you've got to try it. its great if nothing more than using tabs. I can open pages in tabs instead of a new browser window therefore saving system resources and keeping my comp running fast as usual.

TURN IT OFF!

I don't read blogs with music- Kelly said it good - although i'm probably not a music snob only because i'm not sure what exactly it mean.......... my music is better than yours.

Arrgh with my photos

Still having trouble finding a lens that will focus close enough to the fry before they get any bigger. my regular 18-55mm lens won't focus close enough. An extension tube will not fit the lens. I now am borrowing a macro lens and for some odd reason, it will not focus through glass and water. OH WELL !! I'm thoroughly frustrated, time for bed!

Pro Sports players

You ever see those people who are so wrapped up in sports that their moods are actually dictated by the player or team that they idolize? Well it's true, there are those people that have 'their player' and their life is run by them. If it be a basketball star, they have the shoes, the shorts, the jersey the sweat band etc. And they act like them and think they are as good as them but in reality they are not as good as them. But because they carry that star's name on their clothing and on their walls and the team logo on their vanity plate they now feel more worthy. If their player has a good game or scores big it makes them feel good and strong and skilled and athletic. Like they just played hte game. Pretty much there are those people who are never going to be pro so they live a life through a professional athlete.

Living a lie

i often wonder if i'm living a lie or how many people i interact with each day are living a lie. i mean, like we get up each morning eat breakfast go to work or school come home eat dinner indulg ourselves in what we like or have to do for about 6 hours then go to bed just to start the routine over again. dont get me wrong i enjoy most of my days at work and what i do when i arrive back home, but in the grand scheme of things its like a tiny world inside his big world and everyone does their part to make it go round. what could the lie be that we live? i often here people say that the christian life is a lie. could it be? they say that god is a lie. could he be? they say that being nice and good and thoughtful is decietful and a lie. is it? i dont think so. i think it is all true all good and all desperately necessary. so why the doubts and wondering about the big lie?

My Fish

I am back to a topic that, in the past, was not the most loved. With comments such as (paraphrased) his fish are his only friends. Anyway, my fish. They take alot more time than the average person probably thinks. That's why it is called a hobby, because it takes a considerable amount of time and effort to raise them right. Recently I sold all the occupants of one of my 75g tanks. The ones sold included two big tiger oscars, one small golden oscar, some african glass cats, and two jack dempseys. I thought I had pics of all of them online.. but I don't. Oh well, i'll put them up later. I replaced that whole clan with two Parachromis Motaguensis "Jaguar Cichlids". One male and one female. The reason why I got these two is because they are a mated pair. The thing with most Parachromis is that they don't just mate with any fish of the opposite sex. You have to put them in with a bunch of the same species and let them fight it out and pair up on their own. That part of the deal was done by my friend John from the hidden reef. He has been successful with breeding this pair and I hope I am too. Which leads me to something else. Is there anyone who has an old aquarium or fish tank that they are looking to get rid of.. if so.. email me. And we'll work something out if I am interested. I am kicking around the idea of building an aquarium in my basement this fall/winter. I am looking at an aquarium somewhere between 350 and 1000 gallons. And believe it or not.. It will be built out of plywood with a glass front. Yes it will hold water, no it will not leak, yes its been done before, yes its safe! There at detailed instructions here if anyone actually cares to look at them. I still have my prized Parachromis Dovii "Wolf Cichlid" in my other 75g aquarium. And in my 29g lives a lonely Yellow Zebra Cichlid which you can see better here and a Chinese algea eater. So there it is.. If anyone wants some baby Jags just let me know.. because once she spawns nature will take its course with the de-population of the fry. This female laid approx. 1600 eggs less than one month ago.

That's all for now folks. If anyone is interested I will post pics of the eggs, fry etc. if that occurrs.

JF

Blogger comments

*ATTENTION*This is NOT an attack on Jon Carlson, I respect the man*btw, congrats on the wedding coming up soon!

After a recent comment about Jon's blog I decided to blog in some detail why I think that most blogs should have comments enabled. You see, awhile back I had comments disabled on a certain blog post. It was unintentional but it happened to be controversial as I recall and my friend Shauna inquired as to why I had comments diabled on this post, at that point I realized that if I blog publicly and especially if I blog things that could tend to be controversial, I am somewhat obligated to allow public comments. The reason being that if I post something that someone has a question about and they email me, I could be offended by the email, hurt that I was wrong, or any other reason and just ignore the email. Or if the blog their own response to my blog , I may not know them or their blog and therefore not ever read what they had to say. I think that by me having my comments enabled, I am then vulnerable to people publicly scruntanizing what I have to say. If they ask the question or make the comment in private, I can snuff it and go on, if they do so in public I am more likely to respond. I respect the opinions of anyone else and what they do with their own possessions, But that, folks, is why I keep comments turned ON.

But then again, I don't have the same concerns as others, I'm not sure who else besides Shauna actually reads this thing.

Click me click me

Notice the gooooogle ads to the right? click them,, yes,, whether you want to or not!

Raping the Holy City

That's right! There is about to be a rape committed but not by a single person. It is by the gay and lesbian community. They plan to have their "World pride festival" in Jerusalem this summer. I'm still wondering what they are actually proud of. But that's another topic. There are religious leaders from around the world teaming up to put a stop to the festival. btw, what makes them religious 'leaders'? Self appointment? idk, that's something i'd like to know.. its seems that most religions, even though they have a supreme being that they worship, have some mortal human that they also worship. idk.. You can read the whole story about the homo city.. i mean holy city.. HERE

Answer 1 Q

I will not elaborate or bring T Schiavo back up, so ppl don't tell me i'm stuck on it. BUT One last question, and I would love an answer. Send this blog around the world so I can get my answer.

"What harm would it have done to let T Schiavo live in her parent's care? What would it have hurt?"

Answer me that 1 Q, That's all I ask, I don't think there is an answer

Easter

Found this on this blog and thought it was interesting

Pastor Bill was preaching this Sunday (yesterday) and he raised an interesting point. I found it fascinating, so I thought I'd share it with all of you. But first, it seems as though a little context is called for:

Matthew 28: 8-10
8So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”

Pastor Bill brought up an interesting point. You see women's testimony didn't really hold much water in Jesus' day. Pastor Bill cited Josephus (a historian from around the time of Jesus). He wrote about legal statutes regarding the treatment of the testimony of women. I'm paraphrasing here, but the jist was this, Women can't be trusted because they are the 'irrational' and 'emotional' sex.

Indubitably, Jesus knew this. Yet, with this understanding of the law, culture, and mores of his day he instructed the instruments of his ressurection to be women. Jesus recognized that women were seen as untrustworthy, but he bucked the system.

Of course, as Jesus probably well knew, his disciples didn't really trust these women--their words were to them like 'nonsense.'

Still, the fact remains that despite the women's unlikely status as messengers of the good news, as bringers of truth, Jesus entrusted THEM with the message. Jesus saw the system and saw that it was sinful, and behaved in ways appropriate and just and right--despite being in a 'man's' world.

Jesus Christ, the feminist.

Have You Seen Me?

Back to Shiavo

I didn't want to write about this again.. but I think it will clear up my previous post a bit. I'm not going to say that either side is 'wrong' because i'm not there and all any of us get to hear is what the media and other first handers choose to tell us. I think the difference between this case and any of the other thousands of cases where people starve to death, is that there is one man who wants her dead and cremated and her parents who want her alive. It's the husband's word over the parents. Don't you think that we have a moral obligation to stay on the 'life' side rather than the 'death' side if there is reasonable doubt? There are cases heard every day in our courts that the judge says that there is reasonable doubt in the evidence so this person will not get the death penalty. Well you cannot tell me that there is not reasonable doubt in this case.. and that is not even being there and witnessing anything!

I have another thought. There are congressman and senators for our great nation who voted against bills to help Terri and who want this decision left entirely left up to the husband. Those elected officials feel that it is ok for her to starve to death even tho she is innocent by all our standards today. NOW, If someone in the right power decided that all lifers in our prisons should be denied food and water until the day that they died of dehidration or starvation, the same senators and congressman would be in an uproar because the basic human rights of these prisoners were being denied! Now let's look at this a little closer. Terri's parents agreed to pay ALL expenses that their daughter incurred. Prisoners eat up tax dollars every day! Terri is innocent of any crime or wrong doing by today's standards. The prisoners are guilty and are getting what they deserve by today's standards. I could go on and on.. but im not in the mood! get the picture,, they would say that it is 'inhumane' and a denial of their rights! OK, what now, Terri Shiavo is not a human and has no rights?? Anyone who would, in the case of doubt, not be on the side of 'life' needs to get checked into a mental hospital! OR have a very good arguement!!

.....

Doesn't it seem like when you need ppl the most.. the ones that should be there.. just turn their shoulder and 'walk out' on you?

New York New York

As Frank Sinatra sings.... I'm thinking about vising New York City in a week or two.. Just for the day on a Sat. But I've never been there and was looking for stuff online of what's in walking distance from the train and all that jazz.. if anyone is so inclined to share any info with me i'd be glad to hear it. either as a comment or at jfm@safeplace.net. :)

Scott Peterson deserves to die?

As you probably heard, Scott Peterson got the death penalty for allegedly killing his wife and her un-born child. I mean, if that's what the jury and the judge think is justice, ok, but I would love to ask the jurors these questions;

1. How could you put yourself in such a powerful position to say whether a man lives or dies?
2. Did "Thou shalt not kill" come to mind during the sentencing phase?
3. Do you think an eye for an eye is still relevant in todays society?
4. If you believe an eye for an eye, does 'turn the other cheek' or 'do not avenge your wrongs, I will repay, I am the Lord' have any weight to it or is it just selective scripture?
5. Do you think it will haunt you that you decided that a man should die?
6. Do you have a conscience?
7. Are these questions annoying
8. Do I look fat?

Oh wait, sorry, forgot where I was... But for real.. I think it is one of the most amazing things that a person can assume such power to decide that a man should stop breathing and die. I think that one of the hardest verses in hte Bible for Christians to believe or go by is "Do not avenge your wrongs, I will repay, I am the Lord" (paraphrased) .. idk.. I will never serve on a jury because I don't believe that we as humans should decide punishment when it clearly says "do not avenge your wrongs". Idk, maybe i'm the only one who doesn't get it.. [shrugs]

Welfare addicts

Ok, so i couldn't wait till later to write this.....I think that each one of us honest working tax payers in the City of Philadelphia supports a family from the ghetto. My reasoning is this.. I would guess that 75% of the people who live in certain parts of the city are on welfare, have an access card (food stamps), live in section 8 housing, and send their kids to public schools. Maybe they really cannot get the job to pay for their bills. BUT here is one big reason I would be willing to bet, why they don't try to earn an honest living like the rest of us! Because if they are low income, they are eligible for a welfare check, food stamps/access card, and section 8. If they were to get a job they would be bumped up into the next bracket and would lose some of their ridiculous benefits from the city. So in their state of mind,, why get a job and try to earn a living like the honest ppl do? If they do they will lose out! It is the City making it too easy to stay where they are.. But then again as Mayor John Street said himself, "We run this city now"> Yeh, we can tell.

Gun control, YES

Actually, NO! After the 22 fatal shootings in one week and 76 so far this year in our wonderful City, our wonderful Mayor decides that we need stricter gun laws, a moratorium on gun permits and make it harder to get guns......legally. Now you see that is the key word here,,, "LEGALLY". Thinking that stricter gun laws and making it harder to get a permit to carry will cut down on gun violence and will get illegal guns off the street is the same thing as thinking that if we say it is bad for society, low income families will get off of welfare and foodstamps and move out of section 8! It just ain't happenin. (the welfare/section 8 ppl are a rant for another time, but believe me.. i got my opinion) If it were illegal to own a gun in the city, those shootings would have still happened last week. It is not the legal people with guns and permits to carry that are the danger and the menace to innocents.. it is the drug dealers, the crack addicts, the thieves.. etc. they are the ones with illegal guns and doing the crime with them. If a person wants to purchase a gun for protection and they pass the background checks.. good for them, if they have a clean record they deserve to have a gun if they so desire.. Our wonderful Mayor needs to get his head out of the dark area and realize that if they were make it illegal to own a gun, the honest people would lose out and the criminals would still have them. There would actually be MORE illegal guns owned in our wonderful great city.

Legal Justice?

Sometime it seems that the justice system we have in our great nation is the "easy way" out for some criminals.. it never really physically hurts them. At the Acme in our neighborhood.. a few guys have been robbing women as they go back to their cars. They will sometime ask if they can walk them to their cars or help with their bags.. then rob them of cash AND groceries.. I mean, yeh, you could call the cops and have them arrested.. but that won't necessarily stop them.. I was talking to a friend about it and we thought it would be cool to bait them.. when we suspect them to be in the lot.. to send a willing girl into the store and on her return.. allow the man to walk to the car and when he attempts to rob her.. we move in.. and beat the piss out of the guy and then.. we call in the police.. I'm sure he would be alot less prone to assume his prior activities after that beating.. cops can't beat a guy and get away with it.. so it needs to be ppl off the street gettin pissed about this guy/guys and doin something about it. And yeh,, its legal.. its called "citizen's arrest" he just happened to resist a little bit.. that's all.

Annoyance

The nations suckiest cell phone service provider has got to be Nextel. Yeh, yeh i know that they at one time were the biggest but they are also the worst! Everytime I call a "Nextel Subcriber" I get one of two messages, either "The nextel subcriber you are trying to reach is unavailable, please try your call again later".. OR "please wait while we locate the nextel subcriber you are trying to reach".. or both!! Never with any other company.. even T-Mobile.. which I have. they just go right through.. but for some reason with Nextel.. the network cannot locate its subscibers.. tonight I was trying to get ahold of someone for something that was somewhat important and I kept getting the first message! Now when I talk to them tomorrow.. They will probably tell me that they had their phone on all night! AS USUAL!! NEXTEL SUCKS!!

WHile I'm at it I might as well add another annoyance.. i think it only annoyed me because i was already annoyed.. but something that i think it really dumb.. is "Under Construction" signs on a website... I mean.. aren't all websites under construction all the time.. if they weren't ppl would get bored with them and never come back!! I could put a big UNDER CONSTRUCTION sign on this blog because I update it every once in awhile..

I really wanted a grilled chicken sandwich from Salerno's tonight.. but I slept too long and they closed...