Monday, January 26, 2015
Daughters
If you are a dad and you have a daughter, consider yourself truly blessed. But don't stop there. If she is still little, it is time to take action, and never stop. My oldest daughter is just over 5 years old and she looks at me with stars in her eyes. I am the luckiest man alive when my daughter looks at me or caresses my face while she talks to me. But now I have another one, I am the richly blessed dad of a brand new baby girl. As I looked at her lying on the bed last night, with tears in my eyes, I told my wife, "I love her so much". I am the father of 4, and with each one came a very unique experience unlike each one before. My first daughter, 5 years ago, turned my world upside down. But it was just my wife and I with our daughter. I have had 5 years to learn and experience what a daughter can do to and for me. So I enter into this new part of my life with another daughter armed with all this knowledge and experiences and it wants to bring me to my knees just knowing what great blessings are in store for me. My daughter knows she will never be too old or too big to sit on my lap, to hug and kiss me or to have my time. No amount of money or gifts is worth more to our children as our time is. I am a work in progress and learning every day. I am thankful for Godly men in my life to lead by quiet example on how a real father, husband and man of God should live. As a family man we live a life of sacrifices but when looked at in a broad sense they are really not sacrifices but investments in our child's life. If you have a daughter, do like I do, don't go 24 hours without telling her you love her. My daughter has heard those words from me every day for the last 5 years and it's a commitment I will keep as long as the Lord gives us days. I tell my children that the best thing you can ever say is "i love you too" because that means someone else already said "I love you". With God's help you can raise the most compassionate and loving children if you choose to put in the time. Put aside your wants and desires and remember where your priorities really start. Too many fathers are blessed with daughters and live their life their way, their daughters grow up and at age 12 or 13 think they need to have a boyfriend or need to go out 2 or 3 nights a week with friends. They are embarrassed to be around their parents. A lot of parents write that off as 'it's just a phase' or 'teenagers' instead of taking responsibility for their mistakes. Children,, daughters need love from their dad. When I get home from work, my daughter usually has something waiting for me that she made for me and she would sit with me and read or watch a movie if we wanted. She enjoys spending that time with me. My wife tells me that my daughter looks forward to Saturday because her dad will be home. Last night the song "butterfly kisses" came on and my daughter came over and sat on my lap and looked in my eyes while it played. She had such kind eyes and pure love for me. it is moments like this that floor me. Daughters are amazing. Just tonight I was having a conversation with my 5 year old daughter, I told her how luck I was to have her love me. She replied, "All dads are lucky". But little does she know that not all dads are present in their daughter's lives enough to really enjoy that love. I know someone who once told me after have 3 kids (all grown now) they can remember the 1 and only time they changed a diaper. They've told me of the countless hours of work they put in, working 12-15 hours a day and part of every Saturday. What is left to show for it? Is any extra work, any overtime or any achievement at work worth missing time with your children. I believe we have a right to work 40 hours a week and trust for God to provide. Daughters need their dad. They need dads to love them, if you don't they will find someone else and usually at a young age. If a dad is not around to fulfill that need for a mans love in their daughters life she will find someone else to do that. And usually starting at a young age. That will surprise and sometime anger a father who will at that point try to step into his daughter's life and be the 'man' that he should be. But who can blame her if her reaction is "Now you want to come into my life? where have you been over the last 15 years?". A father cannot expect to drop by in his daughter's life from time to time and then be that big man only at key points in her life. He has to keep that relationship going from the time of birth right on through where ever life takes them. How often do fathers sit and talk to their daughters and listen to what they have to say. Even fathers that are involved with their daughters..... do they listen or is it always talking and preaching. Listen, sit, love and enjoy their company. Go out once a month with just one daughter, make it a date night and make it about her. Sit and talk over an ice cream sundae or wings and get to know her a little more. Earn her love and trust from when she is an infant so that when she is old enough and mature enough to desire a boyfriend it is most important to her the he loves God and is approved by her dad. Can you imagine being one of those dads that just 'finds out' his daughter has a boyfriend? oh, and she's only 16! Be her father but also be her friend. There is something special about the unconditional love of a daughter. Actively love that girl. Demonstrate what true respectful and selfless love is by loving her mother just like you want a boy to love her. Show her by example how a guy should act and what is acceptable. I can remember my Dad always loving my mom and never arguing where we could see or hear them. They never debated or corrected each other and always looked out for each other. My mom never complained about my dad to anyone. My dad was always ready and willing to help and do what needed to be done. They set great examples for us to follow and I believe it is now my turn to keep that cycle going. The flame has been passed and it's my turn to show my children, with God's help, how to be the father we are called to be. Love your daughters.
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