There's nothing to get excited about anymore,,,,,, you'd think that after 7 years I'd get over it, yeh me too, But no, I'm the big baby that I am. Sometime it just makes me sad. But other times it makes me mad! Sometime I wish that there was a person that was responsible. That way I could phyisically do something about it and feel like there is something changed because of it. But no, nothing like that, It's just how it is. Things happen and things change, things are how they are and I have to just accept them and get over it, right? Wrong, I don't have to and will not 'get over it'. There is a void that I know God is supposed to fill in my life, buy why lie? Sometime it seems the hole is so big that God can't fill it. When is it going to be filled? What went wrong? If nothing went wrong, then why is this right? How about everyone who told me "Everything will be ok" 7 years later it's still not.. now what? Empty words . . . . . . . Empty words echo from the halls of 7 years . . . . . . . . . Oh sure, I get along fine, I'm not sure where'd I'd be if things never did change. But one thing is for sure, i'd give anything to have it back. I'd sleep in a box on the street , , , Sitting here thinking just amazes me that something like this is a reality and this many years later, I still won't believe it. There is a place in my heart that isn't supposed to be taken up by anything else and now it has to, but it can't. It alters a person's mind and changes them inside. Things like this aren't supposed to happen, or at least it seems that way. I don't know. But from day to day, there is nothing that I miss more.

I miss my Momma, Happy Mother's Day!

It was weird, I thought about my wife today.

I mean, yeh, i'm not married or nothing, now,, but someday yeh, and it was weird, I just started thinking about a family.. woo weird stuff there! I don't think i'm quite ready, although some faces did pass through my mind. Hmmm.

Random thought: I actually like my boss. Yeh, there are those who do not.

See I think that if you are employed by a person, that you should do whatever you are asked to do. Of course if it conflicts with Bible teaching then by all means, don't. But other than that, if it is just personal preference, i think you should do it anyway. Not only if it is hte boss , even a manager. I know what its like to be in charge of other ppl and them not want to listen. But that's life and that's other people. Oh well !!

JF

"Nothing compares to the greatness of knowing you, Lord"

Man I love that song! It's like the whole meaning of why I exist. I think that knowing the Lord is the only thing that is worth living for. I mean, we can live for ourselves, and work to build up us and our stuff, but we cannot save ourselves. We could live for someone else, but they cannot save us. But if we live for the Lord and put our complete trust and faith in Him, He can and will save us. The Apostle Paul knew that even today even 2000 years after he lived on this earth, that there would still be nothing that could even come close to the greatness of knowing the Lord Jesus Christ. I want to challenge you now. Do you know the Lord? I mean do you just know of the Lord and frequent church and pray now and then, or do you really know the Lord and base your whole life and existence on the Lord Jesus Christ? Is every choice and decision you make based on the teaching of Jesus Christ, is everything that you set out to do, have the favor and blessing of the Lord. Do you live for Him alone? Do you have faith in the Lord for everything, or just the things that suit you? All that , would be the greatness of knowing the Lord Jesus Christ !! What a great thought !! Make it reality!!

Finally put the new liner in the pond tonight.. Betsy and I had a good time of yard work for a couple hours.. Got the liner and and the rocks put back in place and filled it up !!

Looks geat if i say so myself !!

Then I got the urge to make chocolate covered strawberries.. so i did.. mm mm good !!

-10-

1/6

May work late tomorrow night.. but don't mind. Picnic on Sat. And yo, Canst! Something is only as boring as you make it.. It was once said that only boring people get bored!!

JF

Nothing to blog about tonight, just lettin yall know im alive.

Today, I thought about the fact that I will die someday. Like, that fact that you dont have to be old to die. And that my next breath could be my last breath. I heard a commercial for some asthma medicine (however you spell it) and saying that "With asthma your next breath could be your last". I thought, "Duh you morons, everyone on earth can say that, our next breath could be our last". Only by the grace of God we will breathe one more time. "God or Medicine"? I'll choose God anyday, He has a better track record than any doctor or medicine could even dream of. There are those who believe in God, and there are those who do not. I hope I am always in the those who do catagory! Anyway, I'm sure I'll come under attack for those statements. and yes, ( ) I feel your pain !! oh oh, pain, should i get medicine.. ha. whatever!

I think I should read more of my book tonight.. for some reason books get put on the back burner when it's my time to read !!

Fixed the lawnmower
Mowed the grass
Cleaned up the yard
made it look it look nice!

Day 08

Found a great deal on Ebay for a better filter to treat my dirty dirty Oscars !! See I got a deal becuase.. in the store they are $170 and mail order they are $116 shipped! BUT, I found it on Ebay for $53 with an hour left so i bid.. with one minute left.. i bid $55 and was outbid right away.. with 23 seconds left... (drama) I bid $60.01 and won.. I beat the highbidder by 1 cent !! Now I may even be able to pick this thing up and save on shipping too !! Oh its great to be frugal.. but wait. im not frugal.. maybe just cheap.. ha.. idk. anyway.. now its been 24 hours and the guy aint email me back.. oh well.. i wait.

Too busy to blog tonight.. but never the less i think i blog more in a week than most of my daily reads post in a day !!


God is great and greatly to be praised !!