They say that the past is the past, but what happens when you shove the past so hard that it bleeds, and it bleeds into the present time. The bleeding past stains and threatens to permenantly stain if you don't get it in cold water right away. The past that you've hit hard, that you've trampled underfoot, that you left hanging on a cliff has somehow pulled itself together and wrapped it's wounds enough to survive and take one last swipe at you leaving stains all over. Trying to drag you back down to where you used to be. Back into what you used to be. And it haunts every part of you with fear of destruction and disappointment. And you feel as though you are in this alone because can anyone really understand the magnitude and seriousness if you do not take them there? Could you ever bring yourself to take them to a place you crucified and left for dead? It burns that the stories you've heard are really true! They were as true ever! You feel as though someone has drop kicked you in the stomach with the realization that 'it's me'. They were talking about me. And then the devil shows up....... Wait, it was him all along. I DO NOT have to accept what they say is 'normal' for a past to re-visit. I do not have to accept anything the world says 'will happen'. God who gives freely to those who ask without finding fault is there waiting for me to ask, again and again and again. Waiting to give me the wisdom of how to pray, what to do and what to say!
The same God who has guided me this far out of the doomed past, will lift me up, give me that wisdom promised and guide me further on.
Praising God for what he has done so far and waiting with anticipation for what he is going to do in my future!!
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