Who the happy really are

Have you ever met those people who always seem to be waiting for something? Like when they are 5 years old their braniac parents put it in their heads that it's somehow cool to have a boyfriend, so they long to have a boyfriend not knowing what a boy even is at that point. So when these girls are 12 and 13 years old and realize what boys are, they feel this need to have a boyfriend to make their mom & dad happy. So they wait and wait through their teen years doing everything to attract the boys. And when they are in the late teens (if they are lucky enough to wait that long) they get a boyfriend and then they can't wait to get married, so they plan and plan a wedding for years while they are dating a guy they really aren't sure they are in love with, because they are not reall sure what love is. Since their parents teased them about getting a boyfriend they stuck on that instead of learning what love really is. They aren't sure if they will get another boyfriend if they break up with this guy. So..... they stay with him and tough it out. Even tho he makes her cry and makes her mad and upset and disrespects her, she keeps telling herself that it will get better, when we are married everything will work out. He will change once we are married. So this little girl from a teen ager keeps looking fwd. to that wedding day because that is when all will change with this guy who they aren't really sure if they truly love him. No one ever told her what true love is. "How do you know"? they ask. After the wedding day and the honeymoon is over and the now wife realizes that those problems that she thought would miraculously be taken care of with this wedding.. are slowly creeping back in. It was good in the beginning, but slowly he starts turning into his old self. And sooner or later she does something that triggers the old boyfriend and it all comes back!! She thinks to herself that it will all go away once a baby comes along.. So she waits and waits for a baby to come and spends the next year or so waiting once again. And when that precious soul arrives on the doorstep, she sighs and says to herself, "Now, it will all be good!". And it is, for a few weeks or months, but once again, after the baby keeps her husband up (who she isn't sure if she is really in love with cause she never knew what true love really was from the beginning) and he loses sleep, he gets cranky and then that old boyfriend is once again triggered and the old boyfriend comes slowly back into their married life and all those things that she thought would go away flood her life once again. It was bad enough when he was just her boyfriend, then it seemed to get worse when he was her husband even though she convinced herself it was actually better, and now when he is a father she's not sure how much more she can deal with. And then when that husband starts to realize that he is losing his time for himself and his hobbies, that bad attitude starts to creep back. And eventually he neglects his family and his responsibilites and starts to just go out for the day every saturday, and is absent in the evening. It's like being a mom to a grown man.
So little girls, and big girls... "WAIT", the hardest thing to do when you are wanting a boyfriend is to wait. Guys don't know what they want at that age, and if you get involved with a boy at a young age (15 or 16) he does not know what love is or even how to love. ( he thinks he does, but you don't love with your hands) At that age, you are more of a status symbol, than the love of his life. Don't settle for any guy. Make sure you set your standards and don't back down. That boy or man has to work for you, he has to pursue you, like you deserve to be pursued because of who you are. If you throw yourself at any guy who looks your way, you will be disrespected your whole life from boyfriends to hookups to husbands, if you don't demand respect you will not get it. (unless you are just lucky) There are alot of guys out there who are looking for a girl who does not demand respect so they can take advantage of her. They will not admit it and she will deny it, but never the less that is still the case. If you set your standards and most importantly base them on God's word and instruction, "DONT BACK DOWN FROM THEM" !! If you have interest in a guy with lower standards on some things don't lower your standards for him. I believe whole heartedly in compromise in a relationship IN SOME AREAS but definitely not all areas. Some things are not made to be compromised. You deserve to be respected, honored, loved and cherished. If he does not make you feel that way, then don't settle for him because the one who will be all those things is still there. Imagine getting married and then 5 years down the road you look at your life and think "I wish it were different, I wish he were here more, I wish he attended church more, I wish he played with the kids more, I wish he took an interest in the kids homework, I wish I wish".. Don't settle for a guy because he is the one who asked you out!!
Speaking of going with a guy because he asked you out. I have a problem with that. I heard two different girls in the last few years say the same thing, "I hope I don't end up with ________" . I was speechless! Girls, what about choice don't you understand? You don't end up with someone you don't want to be with unless you consciously choose to marry that man! You are not obligated to be friends with, date or marry any man that you do not choose to. So the statement "I hope I don't end up with ______" is completely mind blowing. If you don't want to be with him,,,,, Don't!
So who are the happy?? They are the ones who laugh together, cry together and truly love each other. They are the ones who don't have to say "I love you" because every other thing in their life screams to their partner that they love them. They are the ones that people say "I can just tell you guys are truly in love". They are the ones that spend 100% of their time with each other and their kids. They are the ones who wait until that right person comes along instead of dating someone at 15. They are the ones that sacrifice everything for their family and realize that side jobs and voluntary OT are way down on the priority list. When you realize that sacrifice and those intangible things are the things that are really important, you will be one of the ones who are really the truly happy people.

JF