Sepia

 

B&W Sunflowers

B&W Sunflowers 

Random pic

This picture has nothing to do with this post although they are my flowers.. I know that i havent been blogging at all besides a few pics lately. The reason being is that all that is on my mind is really none of alot of ppls business and wouldn't do any good to talk about it. Too personal. Today at work I was pondering all that is going on right now concerning me and if I were to think about it too long and depend on my own strength it would be down right over-whelming and depressing to think about!! But I know that God has a hand in everything that is coming my way. He knows my heart and my desires and will pull me through! 

Timed Exposure

A quick night shot from a moving car.
6" f/22 

Moon Rising

This is approx. a 1 hour timed exposure. The artificial lighting was a little much where I was. You can see a planet at the far right side of the photo. This and the next three photos are some timed exposure experimenting I did since last fall. 

O.C.N.J. Boardwalk at night

Ocean City NJ Boardwalk, view from 31st. street at night. I believe this is a 15 second exposure. I forget the other settings. I should have made a note. You can see A.C. the the right 

Lightning

This lightning shot didn't turn out too good because lightning is not quite as predictable as cars or the moon. 

Head/tail light trails

More timed exposures 

Bumblebee

 

Even plants cry too

 

This is a flower for you-It's from your secret admirer-but i'm not sure it's a secret anymore 

Do you qualify for our entrance exams??

Without going into any detail and only to preface my comments; I have been and am being forced to make alot of tough decisions in the past few days/weeks... And in dealing with different people who may not know what to do about certain things or may not know which end is up. With the help of the Holy Spirit and the counsel of a good friend I have come to this conclusion: We, as Christians, do not have to qualify under any beliefs to attend a church. We do not have to agree with what is taught. We do not have to abide by and/or do the teaching of the church we attend. We do not have to pass the exam of long time members who walk the straight line of the teaching. We are absolutely allowed to attend a church, worship with the Christians there, listen to the teaching and go home for a time of digesting what we heard, comparing it to scripture and asking God to show us the truth and the context it applies to our life. There is no reason that a person cannot attend a church and still make the decisions that the individual feels inspired to make. The individual cannot depend on the church leadership to lay down the rules and guidelines for life and then just do as they say and refrain from what they say we should refrain from. If we were to live like that and only basing it on the church's teaching it would have to fall under the catagory of a cult or at the least, legalistic. The explanation was given that it is a relationship with Christ, a walk of faith, and accepting grace. Now I write "accepting grace" and I will tell you that I do not fully understand that right now. I am not asking for an explanation however. Sometime when you hear someone explaining what the Christian life is all about. They make it sound so simple and each part is as easy and landing after you jump. But as you walk the walk you start to realize real fast that it's not quite that easy. If there were no evil it would be great. But that is not the case.


This is the song that I'm currently singing in my head-

Collapsing was much softer
Still falling always hurt
Only after sensing your love
For always ever burned

You justified my folly
My affluent disguise
Removed revealing nothing
Yet nothing unforgiven lies
Unforgiven lies

No one loves me like you
No one loves me the way you do
No one loves me like you
No one loves me the way
the way that you do

To touch the rose unfearful
Is to meet the thorn
And pierce the heart's emotion
And feel the emptiness no more
Emptiness no more

No one loves me like you
No one loves me the way you do
No one loves me like you
No one loves me the way
the way that you do

Took some time to realize I've fallen

On the Job-- #1

The following 7 photos were all taken today at work. This is what I do. Anyone care to take a guess at what the pics are or what I am doing in each picture?? I'll give you one hint, it's not a bakery. 

#2

 

#3

 

#4

 

#5

 

#6

 

#7

 

its life

Believe me if I were to journal the last few weeks of my life, you'd still be reading. But I can't write it. Something that I've learned over the past few years is that what concerns my home, stays in my home. And everyone is happier. So that is the reason I havent been heard from. But prayers are always appreciated because I need them now. I need wisdom to make the right decisions. And when you have to make them yourself, they are alot harder than telling someone else what to do.

Class of 06

I was attempting to take some pictures for their yearbook on Saturday. Here are a few of the ones I took, and no, Stephen is not the teacher! 

The Girls are Out

I think they are glad to be getting out! 

We Recycle

Guess she's done with that 

Love Park

The graduating class of 2006 

Jessica

Jessica at Love Park 

Anne

My cousin Anne also at Love Park 

Heavenly Roast Pork Sandwich

There is this place in the Reading Terminal Market in Center City that has roast pork sandwiches that are just out of this world.. Order loaded roast pork.. it has roasted peppers and sharp provolone cheese on it. I would seriously take the train down every day to get one that is how good they are!!

I had one today and just thought I'd let you know.

Still here

I don't like to put up posts like this because they are cheesy. BUT.... I'm still here, still pressin on. I feel like I'm walking through the foggy part right now but prayin while I walk. A song that keeps comin back to me almost every day is the one by Ginny Owens that goes like this

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Chorus:
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to

When I cross over Jordon,
Gonna scream, gonna shout
Gonna look into Your eyes and see
You never let me down

If you don't know who she is.. google her name and read about her.

Anyway.. that's the scoop

lifE goeS oN

I heard a song tonight and it kinda sounded like what I was talking to a friend about recently. About a girl that I thought I had interest in until I found out where her values lied. They were not where mine were and the funny thing is since I found that out about her I haven't thought about her except in concern and prayer. Anyway, my friend wrote a line in a letter awhile back that made sense, he wrote;

"Motley Cru used to sing a song: Shot Down in Flames........ That song probably reflects how the girl felt. She doesn't realize you didn't shoot her down. Not her "herself". It's too hard for us to be able to change a person's values. We just can't do it. We can get people to be nicer, but not 'gooder'."

Life goes on.

Sun Pillar = Good Luck?

I saw a sun pillar today at sunset, does that mean good luck?

For all of you who actually noticed, I've been away for about two weeks. It was for two reasons actually one is my computer went south for the winter which I could blame on Shauna, but I won't. And the other is that I felt the like I had the inspiration of that fat guy in Mexico and the happiness of a man being sat on by a hippo. But I'm slowly coming back up to the surface (with some thanks to friends) and my computer just got out of the hospital and it is kicking and screaming like a newborn. (ah, brown/green eyes too) Anyway. I can't promise any mind warping posts anytime soon. But I can promise I am back online. I've been having better convo in person and via email. Although I do miss blogging immensly. hence the rambling.

That Being Said.......

In a follow up to my previous post (which, incase you are a pesimist, is a tribute to my pastor) That being said, I've been thinking about how much people, myself included, like to only point out the negative sides or sides they don't agree with. Like we could sit through a church service and the next couple days we discuss all the points that we think our pastor was wrong. Or,, we read a popular book and then discuss and point out all the places the author was wrong or off track with our beliefs. Well, I was made aware of that recently when my uncle called me and told me he had been reading Rick Warren's book "Purpose driven Life" and mentioned that there were a few things that he did not agree with but him and the family were enjoying the wisdom and good points that were in the book. I came away from the convo thinking, "That man just expounded on the good points and only made brief reference that there were some things he didn't agree with". I think that is a model to follow. Unless of course we search for the negative in others. I try not to but oh how easy it is to put down than lift up. Can I get an Amen to that?

Stand up Pastor Clark

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

Teddy Roosevelt

I may not always agree with my pastor. But one thing is for sure. He is in the arena, his face marred by dust and sweat and blood and he strives valianlty.........for a worthy cause.


And for those of you who have read it.. what book am I reading?

It's A New Year

I was sitting here thinking of a New Year post to write.. I had three things i wanted to say.. but i typed them all and deleted them.. Instead of writing what I was going to which you prob would have loved.. but was way to personal and revealing.. I opted to copy Shauna's blog entry and fill in my own answers. So with my fingers crossed (this is hard to type like this) ok, i'll uncross my fingers.. and type:...


i am not: a penguin with shaved legs
i hurt: Other people when I only look out for myself
i love: the way you look tonight
i hate: that I screw up so much
i hope: you understand before it's too late
i hear: you from across the room
i regret: that I can't tell you how I feel
i cry: at sad things
i care: about my fam N friends
i always: notice your smile
i long to: be closer to God
i feel alone: when I am not
i listen: when you talk (most of the time)
i hide: my feelings sometime
i drive: fast sometime
i sing: like frank sinatra (almost exact)
i dance: when no one's looking
i write: when there is no one to listen to me talk
i breathe: God's air
i play: my music loud and bassy
i miss: my mom N dad but am honored I was their son
i say: somethings that I regret
i feel: like some things will never change
i succeed: when I put it in God's hands
i fail: to love people like I should and give them the credit they deserve
i dream: of animals and people I love in the same dream.. Where is Joseph when I need him.. he could tell me what it means!!
i sleep: but wake up tired
i wonder: when things will change
i want: to be loved and to love
i worry: about what people think of me and deny it
i have: many thoughts and feelings i want to tell someone special
i give: you my heart Lord , I give you my soul
i fight: back the tears and fears
i wait: for what God has for me
i am: doing what I dont want to do and not doing what I want to do.. Paul I know what you mean!!
i think: it would be cool to be invisible.. but only for a day or something like that
i can't: stand ppl not getting along
i stay:ed when I didn't want to because I love my family!

Why 'once saved always saved' could actually be correct

There is always a big discussion/arguement going on between the osas proponents and perseverence people. I've been thinking. The term "Once saved always saved" could actually be correct. It is a long stretch to get to it but deep down it may be correct. The way I see it is this; How does a person know when they are really truly saved? And do we really really know? The Bible says to confess and believe in our hearts... But can another person really know when someone else is saved or not? I would think it is quite impossible for the simple reason that we cannot know somone elses mind or heart. And do we really know our own, for that matter? Could we be included in the "Be careful if you think you are standing firm...." Warning. Why would we have to be careful unless we could fall. I think that falling isn't always from a saved position.. it could be from another place.. such as a 'standing firm' or think we are standing firm place. The problem I have with osas is how many pastors present it. They present it in a way that makes it 'ok' to sin now. Once you confess with your mouth in public and pray the prayer. You then are able to do whatever you want, no matter how bad the sin with no fear of ever missing heaven. That is exactly what i've been told by pastors who teach that doctrine. So even if it were the case that once you are saved you are always saved.. There is no way it could be accepted now because of how many church leaders have exploited it into (as the Bible says) "a license for immorality". There is no benefit in believing osas except the benefit of believing you can sin without eternal consequence. The pastors have beguiled the Word of any authenticity. They have made it a book of mere suggestions, because either way you still get to heaven. "If you love me you will do what I command". That sounds clear to me.

Platonic!?

A friend and I were talking recently and I was asked (paraphrased) "Do you think there could be such as thing as a platonic relationship [between a guy and girl]?"

I've been thinking about it for a few days and I still do not know. Which brings me to my answer: "Yes". and "No". Both yes and no.

Allow me to explain; Being that a man and a woman are both complicated to begin with not to mention very complicated to each other, how would we know if it was infact 'platonic'? What I think is that there are a guy and a girl who have much in common and let's say the girl completely honestly does not have physical desires toward the man. She never once had the desire to touch or hug him, or kiss him or whatever else desires could lead to. Now she is staying the path of a platonic relationship. But the man on the other hand has to use a snorkel in his dreams and thoughts because they are swimming with desire for this girl. There goes Plato's theory. But now you have to take into consideration something else. How would anyone know if the relationship fit the criteria? Well, you might ask each other. The only problem with that is not that one might LIE. BUT that one might not tell the truth. The reason being is that in that same relationship mentioned above, the girl approaches the man oneday and something like the following takes place between them;

Sally: Joe, I've been thinking about some of the things you say and do, and I wanted to make sure we understand each other in terms of our relationship with each other.

Joe: What sort of things are you talking about?

Sally: I don't want to make a big deal about it, but just the way you talk to me and remarks that make. And sometime how when you hold a door for me you will put your hand on my back when I walk by. I'm sure it's nothing but I wanted to make sure.

Joe: Oh, that sort of thing. Nothing to worry about Sally. I'm just trying to be a gentleman. It's surely nothing to worry about.

Sally: Ok, good, I didn't want our friendship to end because one of us started having different feelings about the other. I mean you and I are great friends, don't get me wrong, but we agreed way back when that we were friends and nothing more. Because we weren't interested like that. And you know I love you to death, like a brother!

Joe: I know Sally, nothing's changed. I wouldn't want to mess up our friendship we've been through too much and need each other's support..

Blah blah blah blah blah.. etc. and so on!

Now Joe didn't necessarily lie, but he surely wasn't truthful with Sally. What happened there was Joe indeed did have more than friends feelings for Sally, he was falling in love with her. But he knew that if he were to tell her that, that she would either turn and run or it would seriously screw things up for them. So he chose the easy path. He agreed with her to avoid losing her altogether. Smart move on his part for not losing her but he just lied, uh er, untruthed her. (Remember what the Bible says about a woman's wrath, Joe)

So do I think there could be such a thing as a platonic relationship? I'm sure there are many of them out there. But I would think they would have to be few and far between. One of the definitions of 'platonic' is: Free from physical desire. So even tho there are alot of people that we know who are friends and both are 'not married', there is something that does not qualify them as platonic you all parties were to be honest. Some say they don't 'fall for a guy' until they know his intentions. In other words if the guy is just a pal and being friendly because of some common interest or whatever, the girl maybe would hold her feelings back until she is sure how this guy feels about her. Which would be 'guarding her heart'... BUT she would admit that somewhere inside her are feelings of a non-platonic nature. (out the window again Plato!)

So to answer the question: In the grand scheme of things I would have to say, It is possible BUT not usually the case, whether admitted or not. Now that does not mean that they want marriage or anything.. but just that one of the two usually has desires hidden away and would admit if they were honest.

So in conclusion, it can be, but rarely. So guys buy an extra snorkel if you want, but if she asks, BE HONEST. And same to you girls, BE HONEST. Sometime being honest can be the most painful thing for both parties but it gives you a much better feeling when you close your eyes at night thant that bad feeling in your stomach when you know you lied to someone who loves you!

Reality today

If you do not agree that the reality pictured above under the new Iraqi government is not a world better than the reality picture below under the former Iraqi government, I regret to tell you that you have your head firmly planted in a dark region of your body. That said, I do think the war is a wrong and a mistake. But in reality this good did come from it. Better quality of life for those who survived.

Reality under Saddam

Proud to be Humble!

I read a comment to one of Brandon's Posts over at BadChristian.com today. The comment read in part "False Humility is True Pride". Do people look at me and think "He is full of false humility" >. Well actually I don't think many people think that deep when forming an opinion on me. But for real.. I wonder ... well first of all do I even think of myself as humble?? I mean, I know we are all supposed to be humble and think not much of ourselves in comparison with person #2 but we are talking facts here.. not what should be, if ya know what I mean! It's like 'yes we should be humble, but in reality, are we? So in that context am I full of false humility which would indeed be true pride! Idk.. I'm not really sure. But I guarentee you that you could ask some of my family or friends and they could answer the question more accurately if they were to be brutally honest. Now we are at root an animal of sorts in the way that our first natural priority is self preservation, and in perserving ourself, we think more highly of ourselves than others sometime.

Wrap your presents to your darling from you

Pretty paper, pretty ribbons of blue
Wrap your presents to your darling from you
Pretty pencils to write I love you
Pretty paper, pretty ribbons of blue

Crowded street, busy feet, hustle by him
Downtown shoppers, Christmas is nigh
There he sits all alone on the sidewalk
Hoping that you won't pass him by

Should you stop? Better not, much too busy
You're in a hurry, my how time does fly
In the distance the ringing of laughter
And in the midst of the laughter he cries

Pretty paper, pretty ribbons of blue
Wrap your presents to your darling from you
Pretty pencils to write I love you
Pretty paper, pretty ribbons of blue