Help! I've fallen (off the face of the earth) and can't get up.

Or so I feel that way. It's weird how things evolve into things and eventually I begin to think that life sucks. But then I cannot say that because the weirdest thing about it is I look fwd to and actually enjoy things that I normally do out of routine or just that thats what I do. Such as going to work. I actually look fwd to going to work, I now have fun and enjoy my time there.. I dont look fwd to being home.. nothing ot do with my fam. just alot of ppl in general.. Idk.. its like you are friends with ppl and then you stop initiating and they stop knowing who you are.. not really anhyone in partic just as a whole.. Its not that I mind the fact that ppl dont remember me.. but im sure in some selfish way I do.. Its just that when we did have frequent communications of some sort.. was it really all me who did the "keeping it going"? idk.. but lately my life has been evolving into another chapter.. but I fear that it may not be a good chapter.. although I feel like what I do and how I go is what I want.. but at the same time i think that I dont really want to.. idk its messed up in a messed up kinda way..