Open your eyes; PEOPLE

I was reading the Sept/Oct 2005 edition of 'Children's Ministry' magazine today and came across this story.

Sandy's Penguin

Recently I sorted through an accumulation of ministry stuff-props, musical tapes, songbooks, etc. ........(skipping useless stuff).........Then I came across Sandy's penguin. Sandy had brought her stuffed penguin to church a few years ago for our "Super cool" VBS. It came to us with a badly damaged wing, so we used it as a prop out of the way where its damaged wing wasn't so noticeable. Years stuffed in the closet hadn't healed the wing; it still hung askew from the penguin's body. As I tossed the old penguin into the dumpster I wept-not for the penguin, but for Sandy. Little Sandy also came to us with a badly damaged wing. Make that a badly damaged heart. Not a week went by without a volunteer coming to me about a problem with Sandy. She was unruly, she was mean, and she was occasionally dangerously out of control. Yet at other times Sandy showed herself to be sweet, loving, and very intelligent.

For awhile we didn't know if Sandy's issues were chemical, emotional, dietary, or simply poor choices. I talked with Sandy's guardian and discovered that Sandy lived with relatives because her abusive father was gone (finally) and Sandy's mother was either high or looking for someone to make her feel good. She had no time for Sandy, and relatives finally took her in. They loved her, and they tried their best with her. But Sandy's scars were deep; her wing WA s almost completely torn off.

sands problems could-at least partially- be explained by her environment. But finding a solution wasn't easy. When she became a danger to other kids we had to ask some tough questions. We had to decide whether to keep trying to repair sands wing or to let someone else worry about her.

I didn't tell Sandy she couldn't come back, but I feel bad that I even thought about it. If a child can't feel welcome at church, something terribly wrong! Yes-there were serious safety issues for other children, but I think part of our job is to find a solution other than discarding a child as if she were a damaged toy.

Before we had to come to a decision about whether to let Sandy come back, the decision was taken from us. Her abusive father came into the picture with promises for mom, and one day they just packed Sandy in the back seat of their car and drove away. We never saw her again. Her penguin remained at church where it was eventually stored in a closet. I guess peace was restored to our children's ministry how we wished for just one more month of trouble from Sandy. How we longed for one more opportunity to say, "Sandy, I love you, But I can't allow you to do that."

Inevitably we have to throw things out or give them away. But we must do everything in our power to hold onto children-even if they're tattered, bruised and broken

That story made me think of stories that I hear come out of our church school. Now I support the school, trust me I do, but supporting and agreeing with everything that is done in it are different things. There are too many stories that come out of there that kids who are unruly get sent home or sent out of the room. They are treated as the source of the problem. Without much thought or action that would show that they think about where the source might be. Or why this child may be acting like this. Does he come from a broken home? Does she get abused at home? The teachers sometime neglect to remember that not every child grew up in a 'perfect' family as they did and not every child has a mother and father that love them unconditionaly. Not every child gets a kiss goodnight and a hug and a 'i love you' from their parents. They don't all get that pat on the back for a job well done when they are home. But our 'Christian' school could be that place that these kids change because they get that pat on the back, that hug that 'i love you'. We are a private school, we are still allowed to hug our students and tell them we love them or pat them on the back. It's time we started looking out for the well being of the students, especially the ones struggling, and less of the peaceful classrooms all the time. When I questioned a teacher once about why they would send a student home immediately if he was unruly or caused a problem, instead of taking him aside and talking to him in private. I was told that one student can't disrupt the whole class and therefore must be sent home (paraphrased). But if we send them home all the time instead of loving them and showing we care, how will he learn. They say "from home, from parents" ... well if the problem was neglect in the first place,, it's an endless cycle!!! I've heard teachers say that they don't like their job! or they wish they weren't there. And I've also heard other people say "I wish I could be a teacher, I feel it is my calling">.. What I can't understand is why are the ones who want out, in there. And how come the ones who feel called are not allowed in? All the teachers are family. Does that not seem fishy to anyone else? It's amazing that out of all the families in church only people from 2 families are called by God to become school teachers. But it must be that the ones in charge must get the message from God because others who have felt a strong calling were turned away without much explanation. Anyway. I feel that a big change would come to our church school would be if all the teachers would consider their teaching positions "A MINISTRY" instead of a job that they do not look fwd. to going to. I am not talking about all teachers. Just what I've heard over the years. It may only include 1 or 2. The kids need to learn in school but also be loved. Stop throwing the kids out like an unwanted toy. They are not discardable or replaceable. They are eternal.