Me- "what did you get 'wife' for V-day"?
Him- "Nothing, we decided a long time ago that we don't do V-day"
Wife (who overheard) "Ahem, we decided or you decided that?"
My point is that the easiest thing for a guy to do (if he were honest) would be to not have to deal with valentine's day or birthdays or Christmas or food shopping or anything where we have to think about what to buy what to do what to get where to go.. etc.
I'm not saying that we don't enjoy it and make the best of it and put thought into it. Just the opposite for most of us. I personally like planning things for my wife, I like planning surprises, dinners, dates and gifts. But as a general rule to not deal with something is always easier than to deal with it.
So, when your girlfriend or wife tells you that she doesn't want anything for Vday she's not being 100% true to her feelings. She may think she doesn't want anything and feel confident when she tells you she doesn't want anything, BUT, deep down inside she is just like every other girl in the world, she really does desire to be important enough to you to be special enough to you that you would take it upon yourself to do something special for her and think of her on that day. Stop thinking of yourself and the small inconvenience and cost it will have. Think of her and do something no matter how small or large it is.
I know my wife would have been happy with a luxurious day on the town with lunch and dinner and a boat ride and whatever else could be included BUT she would have also been just as happy with a walk in the mall, dinner at an average restaurant and a movie.
An open and honest relationship is key to start out your relationship. Don't tell your spouse what you think they want to hear. Tell them the truth!! It may ruffle feathers now but in the long run, it will be worth it because of the information you conveyed that day will be helpful in the future. Such as her telling how sad she felt not receiving anything on that day even though she said she wanted nothing. To you telling her that you are really bad at this and that's why the things you do can come across as cheesy. All that information being out there is all key to being happy. If that is how you do special times, she will learn to love and appreciate those things, knowing that it is YOU. It is you being sweet and thoughtful. You can't be who you are not and if you are not the one who takes her on private helicopter rides for her birthday, that's fine, you may be the guy who hikes at pennypack and has a picnic. Both are equally as thoughtful but only one is you.
In the end, no matter what she says, get her a gift or a card. If you missed it get it today and apologize.
She wants to be loved, she wants to be cherished, she wants to be special, she wants to be loved. Even though she knows she is all those things, if you don't tell her, if you don't show her, continually, she will soon forget. It's not the same if you don't tell her and show her. Don't forget that she is yours for life and you better continually nurture that relationship and maintain it through communication and love. Don't let the excuse of kids or responsibility get in the way. There is no excuse, she is #1 priority and all else falls into place.
Love Her
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