Have you ever had the unpleasant experience of being the ear that hears complaints of someones spouse? It seems that the topic of conversation goes back to complaining about their wife or husband time after time. Before we even consider what God's Word says about it, lets consider what common sense says about it.
Without your spouse, you are only half.
Common sense would say that talking bad about your spouse only reflects your bad qualities as a husband or wife. When you are complaining often about them and their ways, it shows your stubbornness as a couple to resolve conflict or issues in your marriage. It shows your lack of forgiveness for their wrong ways and decisions. It proclaims that you are not happy in your marriage.
When you are in public the way you interact with your spouse at crucial moments and in general gives a glimpse into your home life. If there is stress and frustration with each other you can be sure that is multiplied at home. If there is love and care and understanding, you can be sure that is multiplied at home. It takes dedication, time, energy and commitment and only the strong survive, the rest end up living separate lives in the same house.
Now, what the Bible says about it.
Eph. 5:23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of his body, the church; he gave his life to be her Savior. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything......And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church.
Don't be one of those husbands who looks at that verse and uses it as a weapon against your wife, saying "see, even the Bible says that you need to submit to me. If you have used it like that you need to look at it again in a new light. The church, it's people, submit to Christ out of desire to and love of Him, and in the same way a wife must submit to her husband out of love for and desire for her husband. If the husband does not act in a way that causes his wife to desire to submit to him, how can he really expect it. That's not to say that he should continually 'give in to' a nagging wife. Many Proverbs talk about the horrors of living with a nagging or quarrelsome wife. That's a topic for another time. Also, think about the second part, about Husbands loving as Christ loved the church. That is some pretty powerful, all loving, all knowing, all understanding, all 'giving the benefit of the doubt', all considering, all giving, non-arguing, sincere, sacrificial love!! So, guys, respond to that ..... .... that's what I thought.
Both a husband and a wife are ONE after marriage. Though the husband exercises the role of authority and leadership and the wife fulfills a role of submission, both are equal heirs in God's Kingdom. The roles are different but equally important.
Wives - demonstrate godly character and quiet inner beauty.
Husbands - honor their wives and be kind and gentle.
Husbands and wives are equal partners.
To get back to the reason for this post, If you go out and end up talking down about your spouse, you are just proving that you are in a bad place in your marriage and that it needs work that you are going to ignore, and instead complain to others about.
Many people will know how a marriage should be and sugar coat it in public to hide the fact that the wife exercises authority and leadership and the husband fulfills the role of submission.
A husband that knows he should have authority and when faced with a decision, has made his decision but after the 'nagging wife' spoke of in Proverbs never lets up, he changes it to suit her, just proved that the roles of that marriage are in reverse order from the way that God said they should be.
And for a husband to say "I made that decision" when in fact he was nagged into it, is a couple refusing to see a serious problem developing.
Husbands: Pray and don't be afraid to use what God gave you and fulfill your role as the head-
Wives: don't pressure your husbands into making a decision 'you' feel is correct. Trust God to inspire your husband to make the right call. He is more convincing than you will ever be.
As a couple: Communicate, always. Remember that no matter what you go through, you are a team forever. Don't alienate each other. Go through life not hand in hand, but embraced. Remember your places. Don't ever think that God will not show the Husband his will and way. The Husband is who God gave a role of "AUTHORITY AND LEADERSHIP" So there is no reason why he will not also give him the tools and wisdom he needs to lead with authority.
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