Happy Birthday to me! Wow I feel special but i guess it is my birthday- I got 18 cards and 2 cakes! One cake from Candace and one from Melissa! Thanks both o you! Nice hearing from Erin D. tonight even tho i didnt get a chance to talk to her! Hmmm I wonder why it is that ppl like her live so far away? Oh well, idk, I guess someday I'll meet the right person. God must really want me to find just the right person if He is makin me wait this long! But I know its only in His time, if it were in mine, i'd screw it up! Not that i havent already or nothin. but anyhow, thanks for all the kind birthday wishes, I needed them, i was needing some encouragement about that time. And i kinda still do, sometime the little bit and little bit of sinking down catches up and sinks deeper. I'm not sure why, but it sneaks up on me and makes me feel worthless, although i know im not and never will be. No matter what anyone thinks! God made me with a specific purpose in mind and I intend with the help of the Holy Spirit to fulfill my calling when He reveals it to me! I thought of my rents today, dont know why, but just did. Maybe its the pic of my dad hangin on the wall at work. Somettime they seem so distant and i stop to remember them. But then sometime its like I'm there again, and I relive the last days. Sometime it really sucks because I feel like there is no one to impress, or whats the word, no one to say "Good Job" or "I'm proud of you". I guess its like whether they say it or not.. when they are there you know they watch what hyou do and are proud of you! Now its just I do it because I do it, there's no one there to get it from. idk, its just weird sometime, like its not supposed to be this way. but knowing that nothing comes my way without God allowing it first, I woould have it no other way! Cleaned out my filthy Oscar tank tonight, man are they dirty fish, and I gave them a new heater.. one that wont fry them! Not that you are interested in my fish or anything. I thought about going fishing tongith in the rain, but no one wanted to go with me! wahh.. oh well.

"Do you feel my heart beating, Do you understand"?


have a swell day.

Every morning when I wake up, I get on my knees and say, "Thank you Lord for letting me wake up one more day"!