Saturday, May 08, 2004

There's nothing to get excited about anymore,,,,,, you'd think that after 7 years I'd get over it, yeh me too, But no, I'm the big baby that I am. Sometime it just makes me sad. But other times it makes me mad! Sometime I wish that there was a person that was responsible. That way I could phyisically do something about it and feel like there is something changed because of it. But no, nothing like that, It's just how it is. Things happen and things change, things are how they are and I have to just accept them and get over it, right? Wrong, I don't have to and will not 'get over it'. There is a void that I know God is supposed to fill in my life, buy why lie? Sometime it seems the hole is so big that God can't fill it. When is it going to be filled? What went wrong? If nothing went wrong, then why is this right? How about everyone who told me "Everything will be ok" 7 years later it's still not.. now what? Empty words . . . . . . . Empty words echo from the halls of 7 years . . . . . . . . . Oh sure, I get along fine, I'm not sure where'd I'd be if things never did change. But one thing is for sure, i'd give anything to have it back. I'd sleep in a box on the street , , , Sitting here thinking just amazes me that something like this is a reality and this many years later, I still won't believe it. There is a place in my heart that isn't supposed to be taken up by anything else and now it has to, but it can't. It alters a person's mind and changes them inside. Things like this aren't supposed to happen, or at least it seems that way. I don't know. But from day to day, there is nothing that I miss more.

I miss my Momma, Happy Mother's Day!

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