Udating profile pic

This is an attempt to update my profile picture. The old one was about 4 years old .. shame on me!!

Am I Really That Shallow??

I wonder if I am really that shallow that when people start trashing my efforts and putting me down, that I let it get to me? Do I really depend on other people's opinions of me to tell what mood I'll be in? Am I really that shallow? I'd like to think i'm not, but idk, no one ever sees themself the same way other people do. Maybe you can help me if you know me. It'd be cool, cause this is really starting to suck majorly. Or, maybe I don't want to hear what you have to say, that is, if, i'm really as shallow as I think I may be -------

Creation 2002.... 05 whatever

I went to Creation Fest this year.. but it was different for me.. and it seems like the meaning changed.. It's not that I don't like it.. It's idk.. Actually I was asked tonight, via email, why/what I felt that way about it. So maybe when I reply to the email.. i'll post it as the rest of this post.

Lost my bookmarks

When my firefox when ka-put i lost my bookmarks and my bookmark titled 'Blogs'. I need a favor. If you read this post and have a blog of your own, could you please leave a comment so i have your blog address again. I don't konw how to retrieve my list! I'm lost without my daily dose of blog reading. THANx

PK 2005; The Last Day

Well, I was back at PK this morning and was tired as crap! But, I still got up and went. Today was the day I was looking fwd. to , actually it was this afternoon that I was looking fwd. to. But at the same time I was not looking fwd. to it, because it would expose who I am and expose me for what I do with my life. For the last few months my life has been spiraling out of control. One thing after another after another, from things I would neglect to do that should be done to things I would do even tho I knew (not thought) knew were wrong. To scarring relationships with the people I love the most, to ruining ones that could have been great. To neglecting God's Word each night to not living it on a daily basis! But at the same time my heart burned within my chest and I yearned to do the will of God. And be the man that God intended me to be! I can relate to the Apostle Paul when he said (Paraphrased) "I do what I hate and I hate what I do, but all the while have a sincere desire to do differently". That is what he meant anyway. The weekends Promise Keepers theme is "Begin your unpredictable adventure". Through the power of the Holy Spirit and with Jesus as my guide and counselor, I WILL begin my unpredictable adventure. I'm not saying that it's going to be easy because quite honestly sometime the struggle and the fight just really suck! I hear that Jesus is 'the way, the truth and the life' but all the while I'm living my way, not knowing what real truth is and risking missing out on Life. I am convinced that I am spiritually asleep and need a spiritual awakening process. I need to be woke up and become a spiritual warrior! I had lost hope in my heart and doubted that I would come back to that place in my life again, or at least for along time! I've learned and am studying the characteristics of an awakened warrior; 1. An awakened warrior guards his heart. Something that I am guilty of not doing, I got to the point in my life where if it was good for the moment, what the hell, do it! But with the help of Jesus Christ I will work to be the awakened warrior He wants me to be. 2. An awakened warrior walks in the spirit. nuff said about that.. #1 speaks enough about my lack in that dept. and 3. An awakened warrior gets back up when he falls! Listening to God speak to me is said to be an important part of learning, growing and living a true life. 5 things that can help me to get into the Word daily are these; 1. Find a time and place that is stictly for reading the Word, no interruptions. 2. Read until God speaks to me. 3. Read Daily! 4. Share what I read. now there is an issue, sure I can share what I read with my family, but to do that with other men brings a whole different perspective. thats not the issue. The issue is that where I come from we are taught that 'small group'/'mens group' is a no-no. Why, I honestly can't say, but i've been saying for a year now that we should do it, have a mens group. But some of the men who I talk to about have a hang up somewhere. I do not know what it is, but I can only suspect. Could it be that the pastor thinks it's 'not necessary and could lead to a division among the brothers' so the men don't want to go against the pastor EVEN THOUGH they feel it is perfectly in God's approval?? I don't know, I can only guess. ok, #5 KEEP GOING. keep reading and progressing. And I add my own #6 LIVE IT. live what I read no just read it but put it into practice daily! Why is this so hard when I desperately have the desire!!?? whew. !! In starting to discover my purpose in life some of the things that were pointed out to me were these; God has made me a unique person. And not only am I unique, but God has given me a unique passion. That passion makes life worth the living. God made me the way I am so I could do what it is He wants me to do. And God has designed me for a unique purpose. Ok, I admit, sometime this is very very hard to believe. But through the power of Jesus, I will strive to believe and trust the source, GOD. In the homelife, my homelife can and does come a bumpy road! concerning kids (now, I don't have kids,,,,yet. But someday I want to have a family of my own, a wife to adore and cherish and love and who loves me unconditionally and kids that look at me and love me) I think i'll cry alot when/if I'm a daddy someday. I hope and pray that I get to see that day when I have the privilege to bring a child into the world! But back to what I was saying! Concerning kids, (now i do have some that I am responsible for as they were my own) involvment is HUGE to them. Involvement comes from availibility. One of the hardest things "HAS BEEN" to 'live according to the way so I can train according to the way'. But through the power of the blood that has changed tonight! I understand that to teach kids, i must be transparent to them, admitting when i'm wrong, and apologizing!!! Even kids know that talk is cheap, most of them learn that from their parents ! Just as I am unique I have to remember that each child is unique. I cannot use a one style of training fits all. But one thing that is universal is that the fear of the Lord is top priority in training children. Not only for them but for them to see it in me. My work, OH NO THE THOUGHT OF IT! ! ! I know that everyone must work, or not eat as the Bible says. I was taught, and am still pondering the things that I must take to work with me each day (And none included my brother, YES!) but ok, i'll still take him. :) The things I must take to work are 1.a sense of calling. Now I don't know about you, but that's a new concept. Calling to be an engine rebuilder. I didn't ask or apply for the job. It fell in my lap 10 years ago fresh out of highschool. But with alittle bit of understanding and instruction I am beginning to see where they are coming from when they say 'a sense of calling'. So much for that, i was going to use the word 'calling' to be the reason why I would 'resign'. JK! I am to receive my work as worship, everything I do, everyone I meet (ugh) I am to consider it worship and do it to the best of my ability for the Lord. In doing that I am to pour myself into my God given assignments. Even tho is my boss telling me what do to, it is God telling him. (Of course it's not God through him when he tells me to beet up the neighbor kids) but I am old and wise and can discern that I think! And ultimately, in all of this, God will reward me. #2. is Responsibility. Provision is tied to responsibility. In reality if I don't work and bring home the bread, we don't eat. So that is pretty basic for me. i think. I am to run from the tendency to be lazy and stick to MY business. not anyone elses but mine. THAT is responsibility. #3. is VALUE. Where ever I work, where ever God places me should be a better place because I work there. We should make an impression on that work place and bring value to it. And even when I feel ontop my game, I am never to stop progressing and learning. Improving my skills has no end. #4 Credibility. Being Honest, Honorable and trustworthy and a big part of credibility. One way to know what we will do in the future for a boss, is what we have done in the past. If we've been a slacker, we will be a slacker. If we were productive and an assett, we will continue to be productive and more of an assett. And in wondering why God doesnt give me bigger and better things, is because I have to ask myself; 'have I been faithful with and am I developing in what He has already given me or where I am now?? and #5. Sense of Mission. If I don't go to work on a mission for souls, i've missed something in the Christian life. Not necessarily to preach to everyone. but to win them by the life I live and the way I work in fear and reverance for the Lord Jesus Christ. With Him as my guide and my strength I will pursue the righteousness of Christ. Will it be hard?? Harder than I know!! Am I committed?? Only while walking by the side of the One who will hold my hand!! Do I fear?? You bet!! Dear God, I am venturin into a new phase of life. fearful; fearful of you and of what I'm entering into. Please Lord, don't let it be a one month thing and then die off !!!! Let it be a one life thing and enter into eternal life !!

Now if you read this by chance and think "Man, Jeff, lemme give ya a hug, man." You missed it, need more a slap on the back of hte head and saying, "c'mon, get with it dude, you are wasting your life and who knows who elses" !!

JF

PK 2005; my first night

Ok, so Promise Keepers 2005 has brought its first night. I attended and was encouraged and inspired. But being encouraged and inspired is totally useless IF I dont put them into works and into change. If I could tell you bluntly, last year, PK 2004 was a waste for me, it was useless, only because I am worse off spiritually one year later. But my heart breaks and yearns to be the man God wants me to be. I plead and I cry to God to give me the strength to change whatever it is that is my stumbling block. I search and search I pray and I pray but still there is something that is missing. Is it God, that is missing? Idk, Like I said, i'm confused about what isn't going right in this puzzle. It's like once I do something I shouldn't or don't do something I should, it's a downward spiral and its Fast, just incase you were wondering. I mean I could sit there and listen to the speakers and say "That's some good stuff" "That's a good way to put it" "thats a good challenge" but if I never put it into practice, accept and meet the challenges or if my poor spiritual condition dosen't improve, (Read my fingers) IT IS ALL FOR NOTHING ! ! ! USELESS AS TRASH ! ! ! If I don't open my proud eyes and listen, accept AND CHANGE, i'm dead. But I cannot do it without Christ, He is by far the most important part of this if it's going to work. That's the kicker, I'm not sure what's missing. And btw, this post is not asking for advice or nothing. Oh, and one speaker said. That to be encouraged you need to surround youself with men of God, but when i try to do that, they don't seem to have the interest to be looked up to by this struggling young man. Or they will deny that i'm struggling as much as I am. (Whacking them on head) Hello, I'm telling you im slipping and falling.. Hello!! Don't disregard my cry for help, o friend !! Ok, so i'm off to sleep, encouraged and inspired.. will it last. God I hope so.. I leave at 6 a.m. for a full day on Saturday. See what I come back with then ..

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday To You
Happy Birthday To Kelly
Happy Birthday To You

Need Help With Firefox!!

I opened firefox and it gave me the option to pick either "Default" or "Default User" when I chose default user it didnt let me open.. when I chose Default.. it opened but with no favorites or nothing.. Im lost do any of you (Jon C.) know how to recover my lost bookmarks/settings. Or am I back to square one? I appreciate any input.

JF

No More Mr. Nice Guy

See my boss at work was right no more mr nice guy i feel like im always tryin to be a nice guy but in the end always gettin screwed and everytime i get the short end of the deal i say that next time ill just leave without confirming that you dont need a ride or ill just not consider you or whatever just shut up jeff no one cares anyway sometime i feel like i ramble and the cup that holds my pens and pencils and silver sharpies looks at me and says enough already dude the pity party is working ot as it is yeh cup that holds that stuff i know i get it anway if you didnt get the news no more mr nice guy

So here's a peek

I cannot post the whole dilema because the person I write about may someday read my blog. As of now, they don't. Unless of course they did a search on google with my name and found it that way. A new friend of mine has asked me to go to a social 'thing' with her. I've never met her and just saw her pic today. It kinda weirded me out that she would ask me to attend w/her when she never met me in person. Now, should I be concerned of this person. Whether I should go or not is not a question to me, I already said, "I cannot go". But my question to those who care to comment, should I be concerned? and Why/not? Let me know what you think, my wise counselors!!

Dilema

I have a dilema, but not posting it right now. Another topic, for not being a reader, i got alot of reading material in the mail today. This months CCM, this months Relevant and a letter from my friend in prison. So adios for now, friend or stranger. Btw, what should I do with my dilema. you see, when I have to make a choice, I usually pick the 'easier' route, not there is a right or wrong, just that there is one way or the other and neither being right or wrong. I guess it has to do more with self consciousness and shyness.. i know, you're thinking, Jeff? You? Shy? I'll be darned!

Kelly's Blog

I think everyone who knows kelly, or even if you don't, should go to this blog (her old one) and comment along with me and taj about this guy stealing her blog. c'mon ppl get with the program.

Father's Day

It's Father's Day, what the he11 do you want me to say? No big saga, no long story, nothing because in reality who really cares anyway

The Citizen's arrest

Ok, Thanks Shauna for being the single person who wat interested in hearing the story. At least I know someone is still reading my blog! :) Anyway. It starts as I stop by the house around 10:45pm to pick up Cindy, my 13 year old sister. And as we get about 5 blocks from home, I come to a stoplight with a car in front of me with no lights and an SUV in front of it. The guy gets out of the SUV waiving his hands and at the same time the car with no lights makes a U turn. At that point I thought, "I know what just happened"> A hit and run. So as I floor it in reverse to make the intersection for a U turn, the car is now going down a side street and has not yet seen me following. I already have a 911 operator on the phone and I'm trying to tell her, hit and run at Lawndale and Robbins.. As I round the corner I see the car spinning about 3 times in the middle of the street. He had just hit about 6 parked cars doing about 65mph. As I flew down Lawndale 4 males jumped out of the car and ran. I had just enough space to squeeze by and followed on male that I was sure came from the car. To backtrack, when I made that U turn I had a split second decision to make. do i follow or drive on. Now I apologized 10 times to Cindy for scaring her and having her witness that. but I made the decision and never looked back. OK, so the male is running around the corner and as he hits a driveway I'm right behind him in the car. I hit tha breaks, throw it in park and reach under my seat for my 4 cell mag light! He is now at a slow job since he saw me come in. As I ran up the driveway, I told him (more simplified) to "hit the ground (sir)" ha. He ran toward a fence and I told him again. "Do not jump that fence, Stop and put your hands on your head and hit the ground" at that (thankfully) he stopped looked at me and layed down. I proceeded to kneel on the center of his back, his hands under his head. I asked him, "you got anything on you, drugs, a gun"? When he said no, I quickly patted his pockets and pants to make sure he didn't try something sly on me later on. I got back on the phone with a 911 operator and notified them who I was and where I was. In the driveway. The suspect complained that with me kneeling on his back made it hard to breathe, so I told him I was going to stand up so he could breathe but he better now move. He still complained about being hard to breathe so I let him sit against the fence and he cooperated. I asked him why he ran, he replied "I got 4 warrants, what did you expect me to do". To which I replied, "well with 4 warrants, i guess i'd say run". Lucky for me there was a lady standing at her back door who witnessed everything from me chasing him to the end. The police officers finally got there about 10 min. after the initial call and thanked me. Oh and by the way, immediately after apprehending the suspect I made a phone call and had Cindy picked up by my sister because I knew she was scared. And just incase you are wondering, "is what I just read legal?" the answer is absolutely YES. The law states that if you as a civilian see a crime being committed or a suspect running from a crime and you are more than certain that you have the right man, you have the legal right to apprehend the suspect and if he resists you have the right to use only the force necessary to apprehend the suspect and hold him for police to arrive. Granted that it may get you a day in court as a witness, I thought of that only after the fact and thought, well for that adrenaline rush, I'll go! I've been subpeonad before it's only a day out of my life.!! And in the end it turned out that the car was stolen, the tag was stolen, the driver has 4 warrants for arrest, he was only 17 and never had a license to drive a car. For my heroic efforts I recieved a "Thanks". Which was good enough for me.

-The End-

Arrested!!

I made a citizen's arrest tonight, man, talk about adrenaline rush! Maybe I'll post the whole story sometime, but right now i'm too tired.

Dreams

This poem was written by a friend of mine who is in prison for a long time. Read it over and over until you understand what he is saying;

In sadness I wait
For years to abate
.... no homecoming for me.

Dream for me
As you've never dreamed before
... I can dream no more

My nightmare has become the dream
My everything
...& choices are so hard.

Hard as it is to temper and anneal
The abstract into words
.... for humans

You do not understand
The words of an animal
Cages breed animals
.....I bark at you.

Blockbuster pulls through for me

Blockbuster may be biased against the Latino community but not towards me. I get my movie pass almost every month from Blockbuster. My usual thing is to pay cash and cancel before the end of the month. This past month as I left the store shortly after purchasing the movie pass for the 5th month in a row for the introductory rate, I asked 'Abneer' to cancel my movie pass. To which he replied, "Sure, I'll take care of it". But as it ends up he never did that and it ended up renewing on my debit card. That would not have been such a big deal except that my debit card drew from my checking account which was at a low point and overdrew my acccount incurring a $30 overdraft fee. Remember, I'm paying the introductory rate for the movie pass for 5 months, i'm not about to pay $56.74 for one now. When I go into Blockbuster on Wed.night the manager in the store, Raja, says that there is nothing he can do because he is not the store manager and the pass was technically already used because my movies are back late. Which technically is a bunch of bull crap. The reason I say that is because even before the 'no more late fees' promotion that Blockbuster has, I was always getting out of late fees. So I know it can be done. Well it ends up that the represenatives from Bank of America could not do enough to help me out. When the woman asked if there was anything else she could help me with today, I said,"Yes, you could train Blockbuster's employees to be as nice and helpful as you guys are". And if that wasn't enough the lady apologized on behalf of Blockbuster! So anyway, Bank of America immediately credited the amount of Blockbuster's un-authorized transaction to me and made it their problem to get the money back from Blockbuster. How cool of a bank is that!? They also credited back the overdraft fees saying that it obviously was not my fault for the overdraft. But I have a tip for you, if you get an overdraft fee from Bank of America, if you take the time to inquire about getting it removed, I've been 100% successful with 4 attempts in a year. So all in all, Bank of America could not have been more helpful. But Blockbuster employees at the Rising Sun and Longshore store, Raja and Abneer, could have been alittle more supportive of a customrer with a problem. Oh, and the deal I made with blockbuster was taht they could refund hte money to me if I didnt rent from them for 30 days. Go figure. But I took it.

Volleyball humor

Here's the issue; every Memorial Day we (church/family) have this huge picnic. There are about 500+ people there. There are always loads of games of some kind going on. I usually play volley ball. That's where the interesting part comes in. There is this one guy, we'll use the name J as a generic name. We'll get back to the name later. The game of volley ball consists of one ball, one net and from 8-12 players. We used 12 players this game. Normally when you play volleyball the only thing allowed to touch the net OR go past it, is the ball. Anything else that passes or touches the net is a penalty. Well that rule goes out the window as soon as the guys I play with show up. Some time the net is actually pulled down literally to waist level on a multiple (4) person slam. You see, I don't really care which way we play, whether we play straight up street volley ball or if we play strictly by the rules volley ball. Included in street volleyball is 'pass interference' which is when the second hit is being hit parrallel with the net to another player on your team and the opposing team reaches over the net and hits it down. Also in street volley ball 'full net slams' are legal, which is a slam in which the person slamming the ball actually hits the net with his armpit. And an all new hit that is clearly illegal by any rule book is one that 'J' made up today. Picture this discription of what took place. It was a two handed hit; the ball came down to him he placed one hand on either side of the ball, directly across from each other and as he closed his hands on the ball he spun it over the net. You have to imagine that in fast motion. You see, I don't care by what rules we play by, but I want everyone on the court to play by the same rules. That play with the grab/spin was clearly illegal, but no one dares say anything to 'J' because he will deny that he did anything wrong in the game. The slams where the net touches his armpit, nothing wrong he would say, or the pass interference, nothing wrong he would say. And I would also say there is nothing wrong with it IF everyone could do the same thing and get away with it. As the game went on I started to get enough of his reaching behind our front line to slam it and the unique grab/spin of the ball that I went up (after the opposing team's third hit) went over the front line, and spiked it down. Only to get yelled at by half the team. The point I made was that; If 'J' can do it the whole game and no one say anything about, how come I can't do the same thing and get away with it?? I can tell you why; It's because everyone knows that 'J' is a big baby when it comes to sports, there is no way that whatever he did he would admit that he was wrong. He may get a cute face on and say,"oh c'mon guys, its only a game, its all in fun". Well guess what 'J' its may be just a game, but you are clueless if you think of it that way. People play sports and put their hearts in to it and have you come out and break the rules and then laugh and say c'mon guys, it's only a game let's have fun. But c'mon 'J' quit being so clueless, there are rules and you have no right to play if you are going to break them!! Some people think that volleyball is a game of sheer brute strength! But it's not, it's a game of creativeness, skill, and athleticism and most of all RULES!!! Get with the program 'J' it's about rules and for some reason everyone is afraid to remind of you of that, I think it's because they know that you don't care about the rules and you'll be right anyway. They know you will argue or get a cute face and act as tho 'you' are the baby instead of him. Well it's about time that people stood up for what is right, the RULES, and if 'J' can't follow the rules like everyone else, GO HOME< SIT OUT!! "Get a clue dude"!

Dr. Dobson gets the boot for more loot

Dr. James Dobson of Focus on The Family and Family.org lost the support of his old friend recently. Dr. Neil Clark Warren of eHarmony.com wants to distance himself from Focus on The Family saying they they are 'deadly'. Warren has recently bought back his books that Focus has published, so that he can remove the "Focus on The Family" logo from the their covers. eHarmony started out marketing to only Christian websites and only Christian 'customers'. But Dr. Warren wants to appeal to and assist a global base. He wants to help people of all backgrounds, all races, all political orientations etc. to find their soulmates, not just Christians. Dr. Warren says that, "If we have Focus on The Family on the top of our books, it's a killer! Because Focus on The Family occupies a very precise political position and a very precise spiritual position"
Dr. Warren says that his site promotes heterosexual marriage because he has done extensive research on it and designed a website for matching heterosexual couples.But Dr. James Dobson has a problem with Dr. Warren not actively speaking out against gay and lesbian couples and marriage. For anyone who knows Dr. Dobson or listens to his daily show, knows that when he speaks out, he really speaks out about something. And he has a HUGE following of people who will do whatever whenever he says to. He has a devout following. (almost as devout as a muslim extremest) If Dr. Dobson says to call your state represenative's office and complain about something, millions of people will call. If he says to boycott a certain product, it will be boycotted for sure. Sort of reminds you of a cult following, it's so devout. If Dr. Neil Clark Warren is a businessman. Now from a strictly business point of view, Dr. Warren made a very good decision to further his business and his customer base when he decided to distance himself from Dr. Dobson and Focus on The Family. Focus holds very narrow political views compared to the Liberal side of our country. Focus holds many spiritual views that most of our country finds odd at the least. Focus speaks out against most non-christian political decisions. You see, Focus on the Family has it's set of beliefs and standards and if you or your organization do not fall within those beliefs and standards, they will speak out against you and in some extreme cases load your switchboard with calls, or mass email you or even boycott your products. Now, by no means am I saying that Focus is wrong, I'm just saying that they have taken a big step to stay in what they believe is the 'right light'. To do what's right, in other words. By taking that step and putting themselves in that position, they have to expect to lose some support from people who have a broader view than Dobson does. If Dr. Warren wants to grow his business, he will first have to throw down anything that would limit him. First and foremost, Focus on the Family and Dr. James Dobson would severely limit him and his companies growth. If Dr. Dobson is hated by most of the more liberal politicians and most of the media and alot of the people in our country, how could a dating service such as eHarmony gain those people as customers if they see that Dr. Dobson and Focus are supported by eHarmony. The answer is clear for eHarmony, dump Focus to boost sales. It would sort of be like if a man was trying to sells weed on the corner of North Philly, if he were clean cut with a blue uniform and a silver badge he wouldn't get many customers, but if that same man put on dingy clothes and was a big more scruffy, his business would boom. It's all in what you are associated with.

King George

This is probably the 5th blog to post this but just incase you didn't see it. Think about this.

How important are you anyway?

I've been thinking about how people make themselves to be self-important. What I mean by that is the way they carry themselves or how they present themselves or who they do not associate with etc. Recently at a church picnic, we were all in line for our buffet style food and the person in charge said, "If we could bow our heads Pastor " " will ask the blessing on the food". I was surprised when I saw that this person never removed his hat for the prayer. Now i've been taught since I was knee high to a camel that you always remove your hat when you pray, when you eat and when you enter a house. My theory on this particular person this time is that I think they were focusing so much on being important and receiving the glory for the 'big day' they planned that they forgot to remove their hat. Yeh i know that praying with your hat on won't send you to hell, it's just that this person actually believes you should remove your hat but this time forgot about it. So back to the self importance... There are many people who make themselves out to be important. I think that that goes along the lines of my theory on those who know alot and those who know little. "Those who know alot will talk little" "Those who know little will talk alot". you do the math.

Down sizing

Ok, so it's final. I'm downsizing my fish collection and their habitats. My two Motaguensis are leaving me no later than Monday May 16 and one of my 75g setups is going the follwing week. I am keeping my Dovii in my original setup. Wish me good luck in catching him. He is 12+ inches and super aggressive. My Motaguensis pair are laying eggs as I write and they are up to about 500 and counting. So I will have some babies to raise in my 29g tank that I'm keeping for now. That's my excitement for now and yes.. you are right.. its not taht exciting.. its been one of those couple months.

Happy Mother's Day, Momma

Well, it's here again Mom, it's your day. Your day to be pampered and to relax and to celebrate you being the greatest mom. And yeah, you've been greater than any mom could, you've taught more and advised more than any other. I wouldn't trade our time together for anything in the world. Momma, I miss your terribly, when I need to turn to someone, all the important people are out of my life. When there is something significant that I want to tell, the excitement fades fast when I realize that anyone who'd genuinely care is gone. Yeh, Mom, sure there are people who would listen, but I don't want that. I will never have what you gave me again. I was the world. The kisses on the head when I was home from school sick. The love when I was hurt by someone else. The fun times and the laughs. Mom it was the words and now it's gone. I sit here and wonder what is supposed to happen now. I know its almost 8 years later but the hurt and emptiness is still there. I've needed you in the last few months and you're gone but the love is always there!! I'll see you someday but i'm not there yet! Well Mom, if there is anyway to get you the message "Happy Mother's Day".

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

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Yes im still here

Just a note that I am still alive. I'll be sure to let you know if that changes.

Whew!

Ok, not that anyone remembers what im talking about. But I got over all my Birthday disappointments. And things are back to normal. I know you're thinking.. "wow that's a warped state of normal". But it's normal to us. :) Anyway. Have mixed feelings about my aquariums after I spent the night in the yard cleaning, grooming and fixing the machines used to do that, I enjoyed myself. Maybe it's a sign of getting old and hopeless, I spend evening in the yard fixing lawn mowers, cutting the grass and watering flowers, alone, and enjoy myself. If that seems to be a concern.. then save me, I may be falling into my 50's before I hit 25!! But im sure i'm ok, i think

FDNY

I listened to the 9/11 radio transmissions between the fire companies tonight. One word, Chilling. They were brave.

WTF?

Was that funny? My weekend wasn't. It was supposed to be a fun weekend. They had things planned and asked me to go. They only had me looking fwd. to it for two weeks and 18 hours before it's time to leave they say "we're not going". When I asked 'why not?'. They said, "becasue half the ppl don't wanna go". When I asked all the ppl, only one of them said it was true. "Just tell me the damn truth!" So yeah, my weekend sucked but that's not an anomaly it's more like a trend. I'll end this post abruptly before I decide to post my real feelings and then this post will not have any relevance!!!

The Worst City ?

Monday's edition of Time Magazine ran a story that claimed Mayor John Street of Philadelphia one of the three worst mayors or big cities in the U.S.

Apr 17, 2005 10:11 am US/Eastern
NEW YORK (AP) Time magazine has named what it calls the “five best big city mayors” in America, giving the distinction to New York’s Michael Bloomberg, Atlanta’s Shirley Franklin, Baltimore’s Martin O’Malley, Chicago’s Richard Daley and Denver’s John Hickenlooper.

And in a sure boon to their political opponents, Detroit’s Kwame Kilpatrick, San Diego’s Dick Murphy and Philadelphia’s John Street were dubbed the nation’s three worst mayors.

The lists appear in the issue of the magazine that hits newsstands Monday. Neither list was ranked, and the mayors were listed in alphabetical order. Gavin Newsom of San Francisco received an honorable mention; No dishonorable mention was awarded.

The magazine said it consulted with “urban experts” who chose from among the 29 mayors who lead cities with populations greater than 500,000.

“It is tempting to judge our mayors for the little things that make city life livable, the depth of the potholes, the smell of the streets, whether or not the traffic lights are in synch,” the magazine said. “But the best mayors have also been those who act on a grand scale, building bridges, saving schools, finding the funds that cities lack.”

Time praised O’Malley for implementing the computerized statistics program CitiStat and Bloomberg for trimming New York’s budget deficit and taking control of the public schools.

It cited Daley’s “near imperial power” in Chicago, Franklin’s work on a new ethics code for municipal employees and Hickenlooper’s high approval ratings.

The magazine criticized Kilpatrick for leasing a $24,995 cherry red Lincoln Navigator for his wife on the city’s dime, despite a $230 million budget deficit. It mentioned Murphy’s handling of a $1.3 billion deficit at the city’s public-employee pension fund.

Time singled out Street for criticism because of the corruption allegations involving his administration.
Former City Treasurer Corey Kemp is on trial over allegations that he took bribes. Jury deliberations in the case are expected to resume Monday.

A spokesman for Street said the magazine ignored the mayor’s role in helping turn around a blighted city.
“Crime is down. Taxes are lower. Housing values are up. Population loss has virtually stopped for the first time in 50 years. But instead they are basing their criticism on unproven allegations,” said Street spokesman Dan Fee. “They are not applying a consistent standard.”

I could have told you that without all the research! From the beginning when he said, "The brothers and sisters run this city now" to the corruption scandal that took place, maybe not with him, but with his 'brothers and sisters'. It has been problem after problem from what the average person can see. Let me make a point; if we had a white mayor and he said, "Finally us white folk can run this city right once again", you'd have Jesse Jackson, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr., Jackie Robinson, Matthew Henson, Thurgood Marshall, Ruby Bridges and James Baldwin in this city crying that civil rights were violated! Ok ok, maybe not all those people, some of them are dead and some really wouldn't give a hoot. But you got my point im sure! The corruption, who pays for the legal fees that are in the millions of dollars? We do!! The City tax payers do, why not? If I were being investigated for fraud or corruption im sure the government at some level would kick in and foot the bill right? why not? They are doing it for this man who brought this on himself! Now my whole point in all of this is not to prove to you that i'm a racist, because I don't think I am. The point being that we may not live in the worst city or necessarily be the worst people, BUT, we do have the worst mayor and alot of really really dumb people. I can see electing John Street into office as mayor for his first term, seeing that he was a failure and saying to ourselves "Ok, we made a mistake, let's learn and move on". But no, we have to stick our heads in our hind quarters and re-elect him a second term! And say to him, go ahead take our city down a few more notches,,, brother.

the pope

It's amazing how so many people can put so much into one mortal man. I know it is sad when people die and especially if you look to that man or have alot of respect. But to think that a mere man is next to Jesus Christ is a little over the top. And as the Angry Agnostic said the american media puts so much emphasis on such insignificant things. The pope is insignificant in the way that what does it matter who the pope is, he is just a man who makes church law. He cannot forgive sin, he cannot save a person from hell and he may not even escape hell himself. There is nothing that says that the pope is guarenteed a place in heaven. He must go by the same grace that the rest of us seek. It is just reall intersting that a mortal man is held almost as high as our Holy Father. (and no, I don't mean the pope, he is not our Holy Father)

A Pile of Rant

I find it amusing that people will actually remember what I blogged ages ago. The other day someone asked me about a film or something and when I replied, they'd like to have a cow because that is not how I responded a year ago. Well excuse me! You see, a year ago was a long time. If ppl kept the same opinions about things and the same convictions or beliefs to the T it would be a boring world with boring people! RT? Anyway, finally got into the spring yard work mood this weekend. went out and got an S load of topsoil for the box around my plum tree and planted wild flower seeds. Hopefully they grow to look nice. I got tired of trying to get flowers to grow in that shaded area. Although the Impatients are nice they are too common and we've had them for the last 25 summers. Cindy wants to plant tomatoes this year, so more power to her, we will buy her some tomato plants when its time to plant. I think it's more important to let someone of her age to get involved and plant something or help out in a hobby kind of yard work thing, even if it is totally wacked.. she will keep the interest as long as someone pats her on the back and says.. 'good job'! So the yard may look funny (im sure it wont) but Cindy will plant what she wants! The baby fish are growing fast.. no new pics yet but they are coming.. im busy and lazy.. so i guess the happy medium is normal.. RT?Anyway I added a new blog to my list of daily read blogs (Angry Agnostic) while at the same time I deleted one from my daily read list because it had music playing.. I dont know why.. but it pissed me off that someone would have the nerve to play their music on my computer trying to read and enjoy my own music. The part that pissed me off the most is that I use Mozilla Firefox for my browser and when I read my blogs I open all 15 of them in tabs. So when the music started playing.. I had to exit them one at a time to see who was playing the music.. and at that point.. I just deleted it! If you dont use Mozilla Firefox you've got to try it. its great if nothing more than using tabs. I can open pages in tabs instead of a new browser window therefore saving system resources and keeping my comp running fast as usual.

TURN IT OFF!

I don't read blogs with music- Kelly said it good - although i'm probably not a music snob only because i'm not sure what exactly it mean.......... my music is better than yours.

Arrgh with my photos

Still having trouble finding a lens that will focus close enough to the fry before they get any bigger. my regular 18-55mm lens won't focus close enough. An extension tube will not fit the lens. I now am borrowing a macro lens and for some odd reason, it will not focus through glass and water. OH WELL !! I'm thoroughly frustrated, time for bed!

Pro Sports players

You ever see those people who are so wrapped up in sports that their moods are actually dictated by the player or team that they idolize? Well it's true, there are those people that have 'their player' and their life is run by them. If it be a basketball star, they have the shoes, the shorts, the jersey the sweat band etc. And they act like them and think they are as good as them but in reality they are not as good as them. But because they carry that star's name on their clothing and on their walls and the team logo on their vanity plate they now feel more worthy. If their player has a good game or scores big it makes them feel good and strong and skilled and athletic. Like they just played hte game. Pretty much there are those people who are never going to be pro so they live a life through a professional athlete.

Living a lie

i often wonder if i'm living a lie or how many people i interact with each day are living a lie. i mean, like we get up each morning eat breakfast go to work or school come home eat dinner indulg ourselves in what we like or have to do for about 6 hours then go to bed just to start the routine over again. dont get me wrong i enjoy most of my days at work and what i do when i arrive back home, but in the grand scheme of things its like a tiny world inside his big world and everyone does their part to make it go round. what could the lie be that we live? i often here people say that the christian life is a lie. could it be? they say that god is a lie. could he be? they say that being nice and good and thoughtful is decietful and a lie. is it? i dont think so. i think it is all true all good and all desperately necessary. so why the doubts and wondering about the big lie?

My Fish

I am back to a topic that, in the past, was not the most loved. With comments such as (paraphrased) his fish are his only friends. Anyway, my fish. They take alot more time than the average person probably thinks. That's why it is called a hobby, because it takes a considerable amount of time and effort to raise them right. Recently I sold all the occupants of one of my 75g tanks. The ones sold included two big tiger oscars, one small golden oscar, some african glass cats, and two jack dempseys. I thought I had pics of all of them online.. but I don't. Oh well, i'll put them up later. I replaced that whole clan with two Parachromis Motaguensis "Jaguar Cichlids". One male and one female. The reason why I got these two is because they are a mated pair. The thing with most Parachromis is that they don't just mate with any fish of the opposite sex. You have to put them in with a bunch of the same species and let them fight it out and pair up on their own. That part of the deal was done by my friend John from the hidden reef. He has been successful with breeding this pair and I hope I am too. Which leads me to something else. Is there anyone who has an old aquarium or fish tank that they are looking to get rid of.. if so.. email me. And we'll work something out if I am interested. I am kicking around the idea of building an aquarium in my basement this fall/winter. I am looking at an aquarium somewhere between 350 and 1000 gallons. And believe it or not.. It will be built out of plywood with a glass front. Yes it will hold water, no it will not leak, yes its been done before, yes its safe! There at detailed instructions here if anyone actually cares to look at them. I still have my prized Parachromis Dovii "Wolf Cichlid" in my other 75g aquarium. And in my 29g lives a lonely Yellow Zebra Cichlid which you can see better here and a Chinese algea eater. So there it is.. If anyone wants some baby Jags just let me know.. because once she spawns nature will take its course with the de-population of the fry. This female laid approx. 1600 eggs less than one month ago.

That's all for now folks. If anyone is interested I will post pics of the eggs, fry etc. if that occurrs.

JF

Blogger comments

*ATTENTION*This is NOT an attack on Jon Carlson, I respect the man*btw, congrats on the wedding coming up soon!

After a recent comment about Jon's blog I decided to blog in some detail why I think that most blogs should have comments enabled. You see, awhile back I had comments disabled on a certain blog post. It was unintentional but it happened to be controversial as I recall and my friend Shauna inquired as to why I had comments diabled on this post, at that point I realized that if I blog publicly and especially if I blog things that could tend to be controversial, I am somewhat obligated to allow public comments. The reason being that if I post something that someone has a question about and they email me, I could be offended by the email, hurt that I was wrong, or any other reason and just ignore the email. Or if the blog their own response to my blog , I may not know them or their blog and therefore not ever read what they had to say. I think that by me having my comments enabled, I am then vulnerable to people publicly scruntanizing what I have to say. If they ask the question or make the comment in private, I can snuff it and go on, if they do so in public I am more likely to respond. I respect the opinions of anyone else and what they do with their own possessions, But that, folks, is why I keep comments turned ON.

But then again, I don't have the same concerns as others, I'm not sure who else besides Shauna actually reads this thing.

Click me click me

Notice the gooooogle ads to the right? click them,, yes,, whether you want to or not!

Raping the Holy City

That's right! There is about to be a rape committed but not by a single person. It is by the gay and lesbian community. They plan to have their "World pride festival" in Jerusalem this summer. I'm still wondering what they are actually proud of. But that's another topic. There are religious leaders from around the world teaming up to put a stop to the festival. btw, what makes them religious 'leaders'? Self appointment? idk, that's something i'd like to know.. its seems that most religions, even though they have a supreme being that they worship, have some mortal human that they also worship. idk.. You can read the whole story about the homo city.. i mean holy city.. HERE

Answer 1 Q

I will not elaborate or bring T Schiavo back up, so ppl don't tell me i'm stuck on it. BUT One last question, and I would love an answer. Send this blog around the world so I can get my answer.

"What harm would it have done to let T Schiavo live in her parent's care? What would it have hurt?"

Answer me that 1 Q, That's all I ask, I don't think there is an answer

Easter

Found this on this blog and thought it was interesting

Pastor Bill was preaching this Sunday (yesterday) and he raised an interesting point. I found it fascinating, so I thought I'd share it with all of you. But first, it seems as though a little context is called for:

Matthew 28: 8-10
8So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”

Pastor Bill brought up an interesting point. You see women's testimony didn't really hold much water in Jesus' day. Pastor Bill cited Josephus (a historian from around the time of Jesus). He wrote about legal statutes regarding the treatment of the testimony of women. I'm paraphrasing here, but the jist was this, Women can't be trusted because they are the 'irrational' and 'emotional' sex.

Indubitably, Jesus knew this. Yet, with this understanding of the law, culture, and mores of his day he instructed the instruments of his ressurection to be women. Jesus recognized that women were seen as untrustworthy, but he bucked the system.

Of course, as Jesus probably well knew, his disciples didn't really trust these women--their words were to them like 'nonsense.'

Still, the fact remains that despite the women's unlikely status as messengers of the good news, as bringers of truth, Jesus entrusted THEM with the message. Jesus saw the system and saw that it was sinful, and behaved in ways appropriate and just and right--despite being in a 'man's' world.

Jesus Christ, the feminist.

Have You Seen Me?

Back to Shiavo

I didn't want to write about this again.. but I think it will clear up my previous post a bit. I'm not going to say that either side is 'wrong' because i'm not there and all any of us get to hear is what the media and other first handers choose to tell us. I think the difference between this case and any of the other thousands of cases where people starve to death, is that there is one man who wants her dead and cremated and her parents who want her alive. It's the husband's word over the parents. Don't you think that we have a moral obligation to stay on the 'life' side rather than the 'death' side if there is reasonable doubt? There are cases heard every day in our courts that the judge says that there is reasonable doubt in the evidence so this person will not get the death penalty. Well you cannot tell me that there is not reasonable doubt in this case.. and that is not even being there and witnessing anything!

I have another thought. There are congressman and senators for our great nation who voted against bills to help Terri and who want this decision left entirely left up to the husband. Those elected officials feel that it is ok for her to starve to death even tho she is innocent by all our standards today. NOW, If someone in the right power decided that all lifers in our prisons should be denied food and water until the day that they died of dehidration or starvation, the same senators and congressman would be in an uproar because the basic human rights of these prisoners were being denied! Now let's look at this a little closer. Terri's parents agreed to pay ALL expenses that their daughter incurred. Prisoners eat up tax dollars every day! Terri is innocent of any crime or wrong doing by today's standards. The prisoners are guilty and are getting what they deserve by today's standards. I could go on and on.. but im not in the mood! get the picture,, they would say that it is 'inhumane' and a denial of their rights! OK, what now, Terri Shiavo is not a human and has no rights?? Anyone who would, in the case of doubt, not be on the side of 'life' needs to get checked into a mental hospital! OR have a very good arguement!!

.....

Doesn't it seem like when you need ppl the most.. the ones that should be there.. just turn their shoulder and 'walk out' on you?

New York New York

As Frank Sinatra sings.... I'm thinking about vising New York City in a week or two.. Just for the day on a Sat. But I've never been there and was looking for stuff online of what's in walking distance from the train and all that jazz.. if anyone is so inclined to share any info with me i'd be glad to hear it. either as a comment or at jfm@safeplace.net. :)

Scott Peterson deserves to die?

As you probably heard, Scott Peterson got the death penalty for allegedly killing his wife and her un-born child. I mean, if that's what the jury and the judge think is justice, ok, but I would love to ask the jurors these questions;

1. How could you put yourself in such a powerful position to say whether a man lives or dies?
2. Did "Thou shalt not kill" come to mind during the sentencing phase?
3. Do you think an eye for an eye is still relevant in todays society?
4. If you believe an eye for an eye, does 'turn the other cheek' or 'do not avenge your wrongs, I will repay, I am the Lord' have any weight to it or is it just selective scripture?
5. Do you think it will haunt you that you decided that a man should die?
6. Do you have a conscience?
7. Are these questions annoying
8. Do I look fat?

Oh wait, sorry, forgot where I was... But for real.. I think it is one of the most amazing things that a person can assume such power to decide that a man should stop breathing and die. I think that one of the hardest verses in hte Bible for Christians to believe or go by is "Do not avenge your wrongs, I will repay, I am the Lord" (paraphrased) .. idk.. I will never serve on a jury because I don't believe that we as humans should decide punishment when it clearly says "do not avenge your wrongs". Idk, maybe i'm the only one who doesn't get it.. [shrugs]

Welfare addicts

Ok, so i couldn't wait till later to write this.....I think that each one of us honest working tax payers in the City of Philadelphia supports a family from the ghetto. My reasoning is this.. I would guess that 75% of the people who live in certain parts of the city are on welfare, have an access card (food stamps), live in section 8 housing, and send their kids to public schools. Maybe they really cannot get the job to pay for their bills. BUT here is one big reason I would be willing to bet, why they don't try to earn an honest living like the rest of us! Because if they are low income, they are eligible for a welfare check, food stamps/access card, and section 8. If they were to get a job they would be bumped up into the next bracket and would lose some of their ridiculous benefits from the city. So in their state of mind,, why get a job and try to earn a living like the honest ppl do? If they do they will lose out! It is the City making it too easy to stay where they are.. But then again as Mayor John Street said himself, "We run this city now"> Yeh, we can tell.

Gun control, YES

Actually, NO! After the 22 fatal shootings in one week and 76 so far this year in our wonderful City, our wonderful Mayor decides that we need stricter gun laws, a moratorium on gun permits and make it harder to get guns......legally. Now you see that is the key word here,,, "LEGALLY". Thinking that stricter gun laws and making it harder to get a permit to carry will cut down on gun violence and will get illegal guns off the street is the same thing as thinking that if we say it is bad for society, low income families will get off of welfare and foodstamps and move out of section 8! It just ain't happenin. (the welfare/section 8 ppl are a rant for another time, but believe me.. i got my opinion) If it were illegal to own a gun in the city, those shootings would have still happened last week. It is not the legal people with guns and permits to carry that are the danger and the menace to innocents.. it is the drug dealers, the crack addicts, the thieves.. etc. they are the ones with illegal guns and doing the crime with them. If a person wants to purchase a gun for protection and they pass the background checks.. good for them, if they have a clean record they deserve to have a gun if they so desire.. Our wonderful Mayor needs to get his head out of the dark area and realize that if they were make it illegal to own a gun, the honest people would lose out and the criminals would still have them. There would actually be MORE illegal guns owned in our wonderful great city.

Legal Justice?

Sometime it seems that the justice system we have in our great nation is the "easy way" out for some criminals.. it never really physically hurts them. At the Acme in our neighborhood.. a few guys have been robbing women as they go back to their cars. They will sometime ask if they can walk them to their cars or help with their bags.. then rob them of cash AND groceries.. I mean, yeh, you could call the cops and have them arrested.. but that won't necessarily stop them.. I was talking to a friend about it and we thought it would be cool to bait them.. when we suspect them to be in the lot.. to send a willing girl into the store and on her return.. allow the man to walk to the car and when he attempts to rob her.. we move in.. and beat the piss out of the guy and then.. we call in the police.. I'm sure he would be alot less prone to assume his prior activities after that beating.. cops can't beat a guy and get away with it.. so it needs to be ppl off the street gettin pissed about this guy/guys and doin something about it. And yeh,, its legal.. its called "citizen's arrest" he just happened to resist a little bit.. that's all.

Annoyance

The nations suckiest cell phone service provider has got to be Nextel. Yeh, yeh i know that they at one time were the biggest but they are also the worst! Everytime I call a "Nextel Subcriber" I get one of two messages, either "The nextel subcriber you are trying to reach is unavailable, please try your call again later".. OR "please wait while we locate the nextel subcriber you are trying to reach".. or both!! Never with any other company.. even T-Mobile.. which I have. they just go right through.. but for some reason with Nextel.. the network cannot locate its subscibers.. tonight I was trying to get ahold of someone for something that was somewhat important and I kept getting the first message! Now when I talk to them tomorrow.. They will probably tell me that they had their phone on all night! AS USUAL!! NEXTEL SUCKS!!

WHile I'm at it I might as well add another annoyance.. i think it only annoyed me because i was already annoyed.. but something that i think it really dumb.. is "Under Construction" signs on a website... I mean.. aren't all websites under construction all the time.. if they weren't ppl would get bored with them and never come back!! I could put a big UNDER CONSTRUCTION sign on this blog because I update it every once in awhile..

I really wanted a grilled chicken sandwich from Salerno's tonight.. but I slept too long and they closed...

iTunes to go

Well not exactly. but I would buy it if they came out with iTunes to go.. you know.. sorta like satellit radio.. but all the iTunes channels.. for your car or headphones..

[shrugs]

FREE TECH SUPPORT!

FREE TECH SUPPORT!! And it works !! This site that I came across on google offers free tech support via forum and these guys really know their stuff !! I posted my problem and within 24 hours my computer went from having no access to any type of file to completely restored! I would recommend these guys to anyone who's got computer issues. Cosider a donation if they help.. check them out here >>>>>

Criminal vs. Victim

Michael Schiavo is an animal, a criminal, a scum, and is hiding something. Terri Schiavo is an innocent victim, being denied what she is entitled to and has a secret to tell if she could talk.

One (or two) simple question; why does Michael Schiavo want her dead? He has moved on, started a new family has two kids with another woman. Why wouldn't he divorce Terri and let her parents take custody of her (as they want to) and fully support her and her costs for care? Why does he want her to suffer greatly through starvation and then when she is dead to have her body cremated immediately? Why no autopsy? Why does Michael want to deprive this woman the right to life that we all have? She deserves to live just as much as anyone else on this planet does. There is no written record of her that says she wanted to be starved to death or killed in the event that she could not express herself. Michael is a liar! You see, there are reports from the doctor that prove that Michael has something in the past that he wants to hide and make go away. And the only thing left that could put him away for something he did.. is Terri speaking or communicating. The doctors did a bone scan (something like that) and it came back and the report showed that she has fractures in her chest that resulted from being beaten by someone at some time. Was Michael beating her? Did Michael Schiavo cause this woman's brain damage? Is he the reason she is in the state that she is in? That is the conclusion that I come to given all the facts. Oh and by the way, Terri is not in a 'constant vegetative state' as the wacko judges and far left liberals want you to believe. I have seen a bunch of videos of Terri in her current state and she is very responsive, she can see and recognize people, she can respond to different things such as music, talking, and tracking things. I guess it doesn't help much that the gentleman representing Michael Schiavo is a big 'right to die' advocate. George J. Felos is Michael's attorney and I think is just as sick in the head as Michael. Here are some more details; Michael got a huge amount of money (not sure the amount, but its in the millions) and it was to take care of Terri. He does not do what he should do. He ordered that her teeth not be brushed and havent been for more than 5 years. He ordered that they do not give her therapy or rehab of any kind. I'm gettin too digusted with this guy.. i'll stop here!!

In a nutshell; If Michael wanted the money ,, take it, but let Terri's parents take care of her. Michael has to be hiding something terrible he did to her because why else would he want her killed and cremated immediately? WHY? She has the right to live in any state that God allows her to be put in. She could be learning an immense amount of lessons from the Lord as she lays in her current state. The Lord could be using this time to teach her all kinds of things! And when God sees fit, he will bring her back to a more able state. I don't think anyone has a problem with Michael walking away from her and leaving her to the care and expense of her parents. Well almost no one, the only person that doesn't want that to happen, is Michael Schiavo who has something in his past he is trying to make go away. Well, Michael, you scum bag, you trash, you filth, give this innocent woman her right to live and don't torture and murder her as you are trying to do!!

This makes me sick, time for a commercial break!

Church Canceled!

Oh wait, no it's not! I was listening to KYW1060 today and heard all the school closings and community cancelations. Along with all the public schools that were closing early and canceling evening classes, there was the churches in our great city that were canceling evening services. That got me thinking about who must run these churches, or at least make the decisions for the church. It got me thinking about the commitment and the passion people have for the Lord and the "Do not forsake the assembling.................. " verse. You see, a few weeks back there was a football game in our city. It was a championship game but none-the-less a football game. We had the biggest snowfall in a couple years and the whole city was shut down for a time.. schools, churhes, stores, etc. everything buy the most dedicated, passionate, worshipful people in our city,.. no, these are not Christians, muslims, Jews or anything other religion, these are Eagles fans. My thought was,, "we can't dig out a church, but we can dig out Lincoln Financial Field inside and out with no problem." btw, yes we dug our church out for that Sunday. I just thought it was a bit amusing! :)

Give me Liberty!

This is how I usually feel on Fridays at 5 o'clock. But this week I could have used that feeling on Thursday. Oh well, I guess i'll just have to wait another day. Anyone got a job opening? This job is gettin old!

A Prison of the mind

I write letters frequently, some people correspond with me daily, some weekly etc. Of all the people that I write to one of them is an inmate in a Florida Correctional Facility. While my other friends and contacts write about life and what they do and want to do and what they have and want to get, the prisoner is quite content in his position. The people on the outside complain, and talk about what they don't have and how oppressed they are, and how hard it is etc. While my buddy in prison talks about how awesome God's love and grace is and how he knows God is in control over every single aspect of his life. He says that he is content with knowing that God wants him where he is right now and will be until God chooses ot move him to another season of his life. It is amazing how we see what we don't have and yearn for more more more.. not appreciating what we do have and my friend in prison sees it all and understands that even though he is not a free man, 'he has it all'. And that all is Jesus Christ. That makes me wonder.. "who is the real prisoner here? Us or him?

A little sad but alot funny!

As I pulled up to park today at noon, a man flagged a cop over and pointed out what seemed to be a mentally disturbed man hitting cars with a mop. yes I said a mop! When the officer approached this mop wielding gentelman he got into some neat kung fu looking stances and wanted to fight the cop. It was so funny to watch!! When other cops got on the scene they tried to tackle the guy but he got away and tried to get into a squad car, the cop slammed the door and hit the guy a few times.. they finally got him cuffed and in the back of the car and the guy tried to kick the windows out! so they got him back out and shackled his ankles..this pic shows him finally being transferred from a squad car to the wagon. It was just a little excitement for our Sunday afternoon!

Right and wrong

Is there always a right and wrong in every issue? Is there a truth about every issue that can be traced back to the Bible? I was thinking about human cloning, is it right or wrong? God creates human life wouldn't it then be sacred? The Bible says that "all life is sacred". So if all life is sacred, wouldn't the human species be the 'most sacred' ? I would say yes, based on the fact that we are the only life form that has an eternal soul. So if God creates us, he also creates our soul. If scientists clone a human being, it would look like a human, walk like a human, talk like a human and think like a human the only big difference is the cloned human being would have no soul! The scientists may be able to create an embryo by cloning, but they cannot create a soul. So the creature that they clone would then be like a pig or a rabbit, a creature who lives and dies with no afterlife. Now some questions about the new cloned humans; what could we use them for? THey could be raised on a farm to harvest the organs, why not, if there is a shortage.. it is not inhumane to kill them, they aren't real humans. If you killed them you couldn't get charged with murder because they would have no civil rights.. they could only have the same rights as animals! They could be raised for servants.. bring back slaves.. why not? They are like mules now with no souls.. they are souless aninmals in human form... So to answer the question, Yes cloning is wrong! No matter what benefit it would be to the human race, God created humans and we are messing with what only He can create. So there are people who believe that it would benefit the human race to clone.. there were also those who thought it would benefit the human race to wipe out the Jews, but just as they were then.. they are WRONG!

Cursing and Foul Language

I've had the privilege of reading several people's opinions on curings/swearing via their blogs recently. I must say that it is very interesting at the least. At first I thought that I would comment on the blogs, but then I thought it may come across as me being judmental toward their position/opinion on the subject. So I resorted to blogging my thoughts in what one blogger adequately said about it; "on this blog I have the freedom to use whatever words I think are appropriate." Very well said. So on to my thoughts; As far as Christians, I think that the Bible is pretty much upfront about cursing/swearing. But I am sure that there are many opinions on it. To say that my parents felt this way , but now we are the next generation and we curse alot more frequently is kinda weird.. Do we now read a diffrerent Bible, or not read one at all? The Bible hasn't changed from when our grandparents were our age, God's Word has been truth for thousands of years, why would it change now? I think it would make alot of us get angry and have a problem if we sat in church on Sunday and the pastor was explaining how bad things happen when we disobey God and he were to paraphrase like this, "King ____ wanted to go into battle but God told him no, but King ____ thought to himself F___ that, im going anyway". I know that it's an extreme example, but if the language is not welcome in church, then why else where. Hey, don't get me wrong, I am in no way saying that I am more righteous or holier than anyone, I use language that I would NEVER use around certain people, esp. my pastor and more so Jesus if He were here. I am not proud that I do and am making a conscious effort not to. But for me to say that I am learning how to use certain taboo words in their correct context sounds alittle absurd. I really don't care how much people curse or swear, I live in it all day at work, some of my friends use it, whatever. But it's the fact that a person could say, "I'm a Christian, there is nothing wrong with using 'every word in the book' " just sounds funny. Is it really a sin to use that kind of language? Could using that kind of language really "Get you box seats in hell"?? Idk, but as with any other life question, if you want to find the 'truth' of the matter, turn to the Truth, God's Word...
James 3:10 "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be."
Proverbs 4:24 "Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips."
Proverbs 10:21 "The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but a perverse tongue will be cut out."
Those are just a few of the many verses in the Bible that speak about our mouth and the words we use. "Praise and cursing out of hte same mouth"? The Apostle James says "this should not be". But all the verses that speak in relation to our lips speaking praise and cursning and things like that .. one of them says it pretty clear to me. I'm sure you all are familiar with Psalm 19:14 where the Psalmist says "May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." We sing that song in our praise service and when we worship. We know the lyrics as;
May the words of my mouths and the thoughts of my heart. bless your name bless your name Jesus and the deeds of the day and the truth in my way speak of You speak of You Jesus.. for this is what im glad to do it's time to live a life of love that pleases You. and I will give my all to You. Surrentder everything I have and follow You... I'll follow You.
Lord, will You be my vision. Lord, will You be my guide. Be my hope, be my light and the way. And I'll look not for riches nor praise on this earth. Only you'll be the first in my heart.

The first part of the song which is based on Psalm 19 is most relevant to this post. One minute we pray that the words of our mouth and the meditations of our heart be pleasing to God and then we freely use curse/swear words in the name of completeing our vocab or fitting in our generation, or just giving into peer pressure. I guess our generation of Christians may soon be called the "Cursing Christians". Oxymoron?

Thats all for now on this post, but I've been thinking, after reading on this blog that (my parents' generation tends to be a little more reserved (read: saying 'shit' is equivalent to purchasing box seat tickets to hell). I've been that what does send a person to hell? who goes and what makes them go there? Is everyone inherently saved or are some who think they are saved able to do things that send them south instead of singing lala with the angels? (those of you who know me, know what I meant by that) :)


the other source for wriring this post (i feel I should share) is this blog. Which I read faithfully along with about 10 others. I find them all insanely interesting, amusing, educational, and yes.. some are downright insane.. but that's what makes our little world go round.

JF

I'm convinced-everyone loves to complain

You ever hear someone complain about how it's unfair that all our jobs are sent overseas to Japan, Taiwan and China and we import all our stuff from them. We shut down our factories in the U.S. and import from other countries instead. Maybe you are one of them who complains about our jobs going to other countries. A guy from work was complaining about it and I'll ask you (if you are one of them) the same thing I asked him. If we brought those jobs back to the U.S. and manufactured here instead of overseas, would you be happier? Before you answer yes, consider this; almost everything you use daily has some part of it that is made overseas. It would be impossible to live strictly off of things made in the USA. If we were to bring the jobs back, the prices of those goods would no doubt go up steeply in price. And then, don't miss this, the same people would continue to complain but this time, about the price. So it just goes to show you that we as humans just love to complain, it somehow makes us feel intelligent if we can point out the faults of others i guess. And yes, i'm sure someone will complain about this post. :)

Still here

I'm still here and still progressing. I've wondered and observed how we can get so caught up in something that almost forget about our own life and our purpose. whether it be school, a job, a relationship or whatever. Just an observation. I also came to the conclusion that with certain ppl no matter what you say, they will challenge it with something they say is fact but really it is just a challenge because if you are taking to them, 'you are always wrong'. zzz time

Drums

These are Jessica's new drums. She is the drummer for 'Toolbox' .. and yeah, it's a band. those are not her legs. I was threatened and had to tell you that.

New engagement and brides fam starting fights

So my brother got engaged on Saturday. I am assuming that I will be his best man or whatever you call it.. .. the bride-to-be's maid of honor had this to say about me. "I think my Uncle Walt may have an extra suit". (her uncle walt is about 350lbs.) I say to her.. that she's not lookin to slim these days either and maybe she ought to hit up her aunt carol m. for an extra dress or TWO!

As you may have noticed, I haven't been online in awhile. Actually, in contrast to my previous online habits I have been spending an average of 1 hour per week online! Imagine that. That should explain alot anyway. Been taking an interest in digital photography got some cool shots of the kiddies snow boarding.. but since im not on my computer. i cannot post them on here. the eagles go to the super bowl this year.. but honestly.. I couldn't care less.. I know alot of ppl go nuts about the game but after seeing how some ppl neglect church because of it and get so into it it becomes there life.. it turns me off.. I guess just like everyting else.. there is a right way and a wrong way.. But why should i worry.. i dont care about them. btw, Philly is not a suburb.. so all yall in the suburbs or other cities.. they aren't 'your eagles' if you are north of the city.. cheer on the pats or something :)

Where have you been?

I've been here.. but haven't been blogging. Just not in the mood lately. If you know where the find the 'easy life' let me know.. I still haven't found it.

Dear Dad--Thank You

Dear Dad,
I want to take time to write you. Because lately we don't talk like we used to. You see, I was thinking about all the things that we've been through. And I wanna say right now that I really miss you. And you used to tell me when I was a little dude, that there was nothing that we couldn't get through. So after it all I want to take the time to thank you. And let you know that everyday I try to pray for you. See I appreciate everything that you did. You were there for me ever since I was a little kid. You taught me to be a man and just how to live. And when I needed it you always had love to give. The tears are running down my face as I write this! Cause you not being here is what I really miss. And one thing that I just really wish, is that you know I really love you so i'll tell you this. Daddy, thank you for being my Daddy, I just want to thank you Daddy, thank you for being my Daddy.

We might blame ourself for you and Mom goin 'Up', but i want to tell you 'we don't beat ourself up'. That's in the past now, what's done is done. You'll always be my dad and I'll always be your son! Sometime the most important words, we don't say enough. Sometime love hurts and hurts way too much. Sometime we act the very worst to the ones we love. It don't occurr but sometime we just want a hug. And mom I just wanna thank you for everything, for all the times that you were there to provide my needs. And I thank you for always just helping me despite all the trouble sometimes that I know I used to be. You've shown me just what a mom's supposed to be. And it still means so much to know you'd be proud of me. And just to be your son is what i'm proud to be. So just in love I say thanks and all your kids sing; Mommy, thank you for being my Mommy, I just want to thank you Mommy, thank you for being my Mommy.

For awhile Mom we really didn't talk much. And even lately it's kinda hard just to get in touch. You wouldn't believe just how much your little boy's grown up. It seems like yesterday that I was so young. Time passes so fast but you know what? It's words like 'I love you' I never said enough. And everything that you've done means so much. Thank you mom, and that's love from your loving son.

And Lord I want to thank you for what you've done. You're my Father in Heaven and i'm your son. Your the source of where my peace comes from. And you can still be my Father if I now cease to have one. I was lost but you changed the outcome, you put your Son on the cross where He just bled and hung. You laid down your life, and there's no greater love for someone.... And that's exactly what you've done! Jesus, thank you for being my Jesus. I just want to thank you Jesus, thank you for being my Jesus.

"words were changed from a KJ song"

Hightlights? Resolutions?

Well it does not seem like one whole year since we threw our last New Year's Party!! I cannot believe it is a new year. But believe it or not, it is here, 2005 ! I've been thinking,, what are my highlights, my lowlights of 2004 and what are my goals for 2005?

Here is a list of things that I have learned in the past year:

1. To have a good time all you need is family, they are the best friends and when really thought about, they rock the world!
2. Death sucks
3. The Huf side of my family far out-rocks the Myers for being able to have fun just hanging out with each other!
4. God WILL provide; God WILL heal; God WILL protect; IF we give him a chance and get out of way.
5. My sibs are the best friends I have.
6. Aonch has no limits when it comes to obnoxicision.
7. Actually im tired and can t really think of alot of things

im going ot bed.. more later

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! if you are in the area. stop by our loud humble party!

Warning!

The great Tsunami that hit Asia must have been an awesome sight! Logesh Monoharan my sposored child lives right outside of Coimbatore which is really far south in India. I have heard that they got hit pretty hard with the deaths. The death toll has reached 50,000 today and is expected to keep rising by the tens of thousands. If Logesh is still alive it is only by the mercy of God!
Something that I have noticed over the past few years is this: that people in general refuse to believe that anything is a sign of the 'end of the world'. They refuse to believe that the prophecies in the book of Revelation may actualy be coming to fruition in our lifetime. The Bible speaks of "wars and rumors of wars" "violence will increase" and "natural disasters will increase". With the Tsunami taking the lives of so many people with little warning and tens of thousands of men and women getting slaughtered daily in what we justify as a war, what's next? So many Christians want things to change as far as fighting, wars etc. But they still think that we should go to war! It seems that they will justify war with what the warriors did in the Old Testament and how they prayed for victory over thousands of soliders.. AND got their answer to prayer! Jesus Christ was born and changed all that! He gave us a simple list of "COMMANDMENTS" not suggestions.. commandments.. and they are written very very simple so that even the most un-educated could understand them.. and they do.. It is the elite well educated, with their own agendas that twist it to allow them to do the things Jesus said "NO" to. For instance.... very simple.. "Do Not Kill" ... how much more simple could he have said it? When Jesus gave that command he didn't give any loopholes and their is none now. If you kill for any reason... you blatently disobey the Word of God! But people will ask,, What if it is in self defense.. we have a right to protect ourselves.. right? we have the right to decide our own fate too.. Jesus also said the following.. "Love your neighbor" "pray for those who persecute you" "If anyone 'takes' your hat,, give your coat also" "If someone strikes on one cheek,, turn the other.." So after hearing what Jesus had to say to us.. where do we find the right to kill someone else? There is none.. God's Word says "do not kill" anyone who does will face judgement.. simple as that!!
It seems so easy to be a Christian if we are able to only follow the parts of the Bible that we want to and to just make the other part say what we want it to say.. or to do our best to find a loophole in the Word so that we can do our own thing and still feel like we are in the center of God's will. But the horrible fact is that we are only fooling ourselves and that we will be sorry on the day of judgment where the God who made the universe will judge our lives on earth against the Holy Word that He wrote himself!
People seem to try to push to the back of their minds.. the things that are happening in the world so they do not have to face the fact that the end is coming and it is probably closer than any of us think it is! The thing is, we go on with our daily lives and because are getting steadily worse but at a relatively slow pace.. it is constantly normal to us to have these things happen all around us.

My sib got engaged over Christmas.. but I didnt win the bet

Last Christmas I bet about an engagement.. one of my sibs got engaged over Christmas.. but I didnt win the bet

Merry Christmas

I just got done reading some blogs that I read regularly. I chuckled at one and out right laughed at another.. was it yours? you'll never know! Anyway.. I wrote this time for one reason to say:

MERRY CHRISTMAS !!

And speaking of which, some people would get offended by me mentioning the Christian holiday and not the Jewish or African holiday.. My opinion on that.. Get offended and get over it. Anymore it seems that people think they have a constituional right not to be offended and if they are offended by something they have the right to sue! FOR WHAT? You now get money if someone offends you? Insane! I heard a black man on the radio tonight talking about how the white man had done his people wrong for hundreds of years in slavery and made no restitution for it. He said that the white man has been doing it ever since the beginning; taking what they want from who they want. And he now wants restitution for what our ancestors did to his ancestors.. I think at this point it's time for him to get over it. That is in the past.. blacks are not a minority where I live. It is a fact that in Philadelphia, whites are the minority. But who cares who the minority is.. we all bleed red blood, the same color that Christ bled for us. And for that matter we are all brothers! People think that because they are a certain race or color they have more rights that other people. I heard in church tonight that 'what Jesus told us to do is so simple, it is amazing how many people refuse to do it' Love thy neighbor, but no, even Christians argue with neighbors and sue when their neighbor causes property damage or hurts them. Pray for those who hate you, turn the other cheek, if they take your coat give them your other garment too.. last time I heard the thing to do when we are robbed or our car is stolen is to call the police file a report and use our self efforts to get our property back and totally forget about the Lord's commands!! I guess the Bible has become just a book in our bookcase to all too many 'so called' Christians. What about our body? In the life of Christ on earth.. how many times did he seek the assistance of a doctor to 'help' him with his miracles of divine healing.. I counted them all up and go ''' NoNe! "" But today almost every person I know that calls themself a Christian, if they feared for their life because of a sickness they would seek the help of a doctor or medicine.. and then still have the nerve to ask God to heal them! Isn't that little mixed up? It's not both, it's either or! But one thing.::: If God CAN heal,, why medicine and docs too? The simple deciding factor of whether a person really has faith in God is when they get sick do they put their faith for healing in God alone or in medicine too? Speaking of offending, if this blog offends you,, refer to what I had to say about the black man wanting our generation to make restitution for his great grandparents slavery. "get over it". In America we don't have a right of not being offended. Or you could always sue me! But no need for that.. Just ask and I will follow Jesus command on that.. "give to those who ask" so no need to sue if you are offended.. just ask


Oh and since I probably got off the subject there:::

MERRY CHRISTMAS !!